About to give up!! :(

[Angelica]

My dd is 3 weeks old today & I am seriously about to give up b/f

She has been latching on fine & several midwives & b/f support worker have confirmed this yet she doesnt seem to be satisfied with just being b/f

Even after being on the breast for 30/40 mins she is crying, sucking her hands etc so I have been topping her up with formula since she was 4 days old...

I have even tried expressing but i only get 2-3oz after pumping for 30-40mins!!

Is ther anything I can do as a last resort to increase milk supply before I pack it all in??

Also, dd is a nightmare when going to sleep in evenings, its taking me around 2 hours to get her down so quite honestly I havent got it in me to sit & pump forever, especially when im hardly getting anything.
Just now I pumped for 30 mins & got 1 oz from both breasts?!!!!

 

[Calif]

I make enough milk for my baby but I can only get 2oz max when I pump, even with a hospital grade pump. 0.5oz - 2oz is normal total both breasts according to kellymom for mothers who are with their babies. The 5 oz you see on the boards are higher than normal. So I wouldn't be concerned about that. Your baby could be cluster feeding. Is she gaining well? Every time you supplement, you have to pump to keep up supply.

I suggest taking off your baby's clothes and doing lots of skin on skin cuddling.
1. Pump pump pump after each feeding, 5 min more than after no milk comes out. Always double pump to increase prolactin levels. Rent a hospital grade pump if this much pumping is uncomfortable with a home pump
2. Try mother's milk tea 3-5 cups a day
3. Make some lactation cookies (secret incredient is brewer's yeast, oatmeal and flax)
4. Drink some Gatorade (people online say it helps)

 

[Calif]

Also, what does it mean when you say it takes 2 hrs to get her down in the evenings? You mean to sleep? Is she hungry? My baby had no sense of night time and would often nurse all night.

 

[MommyJogger]

Everything you describe is actually quite normal. As Calif said, a pump will never be as good as your baby at removing milk from your breast, so the volume you pump isn't reflective of the volume you're producing.
Young babies like to bf A LOT. It's normal for them to be on the boob more often than they're off the boob. The best way to know if your baby is getting enough is by keeping track of her wet diapers. If she's having 4-6 very wet diapers in a 24 hour period, she's getting enough breast milk. Giving formula like you're doing is a slippery slope and will more often than not lead to exclusively formula feeding. Your baby must remove milk from your breasts in the volume and frequency that she needs it in order for you to establish a milk supply. My advice is to try and cut out the formula supplementation. Just get comfortable and nurse, nurse, nurse. It can be really frustrating in the early weeks, but it will get easier as time goes on. The first few months are pretty much just solid growth spurt. And some babies just have an exceptional need to suckle. My son was like that and he just wanted to be on the boob all the time, even if he didn't necessarily always want the milk.
How are your nipples? Are they very painful when you nurse or do you think you could stand to nurse more? If your nipples are holding up well and it's not too painful, my advice would be to just let her do her thing. If she wants to suckle, just rent a few movies, settle in, and let her go at it-- you will have a fantastic supply if you do. If breastfeeding is something you want to do, the earlier you cut out the formula the better.
You can reduce the amt of formula you're giving her by 1oz every 2-3 days. And watch her wet diapers. I know it's difficult now, but bf is so much easier after the initial period and you'll be so incredibly glad that you never have to get up and make a bottle for all the night feeds that will come.
As for settling in the evenings, I think most 3 week old babies don't really have a sense of what bedtime is. Have you considered looking into safe cosleeping practices? Nursing lying down will help you get more rest and there's no real evidence for it, but I'm absolutely convinced that sleeping with my son beside me helped him develop a night/day/sleep/wake rhythm much faster than he otherwise would have. At this point, I honestly thought my baby hated me. It was hell. He was nursing or he was crying and that was that. So I let him nurse. And nurse. And it was one of the best decisions I've ever made.

 

[BrittasticTX]

Absolutely what she said!! The 2-3 week mark is a common time for a major growth spurt. My LO hardly left the boob at that point! I don't have much to add, just that Mommyjogger is exactly right!

 

[Angelica]

So after reading ur responses, for dd feed at 5am wen she woke up i held back from giving formula. She b/f for appx 40 mins & then slept for 3 hours.
She had a wet nappy wen she woke up so is this a good sign??

Also nipples are sore but im using olive oil on them which my friend swears by.

Looking to order some supplements today, can i try several together? Ie fenugrek tabs, mothers tea etc?

 

[Angelica]

I've been bfeeding since 9.45ish & am still at it!!
She falls asleep now & then so i put her down then she cries straight away!!
Ive just about managed to feed 5 year old dd & myself breakfast & wash up!
Unless baby falls asleep now how will i sort lunch??

Is this normal??

 

[TheNewMrs]

3-4 oz in 30 mins? I wouldn't get that in a FULL DAY!!!
Its normal for babies that small to want to suck ALL the time! This post really helped me get through those rough days. https://theleakyboob.com/2011/08/baby-explains-normal-newborn-behavior/

 

[Emz1982_in_uk]

I feel for you so much. Those early days are really tough. I agree with Mummyjogger, the formula will be effecting your supply and it's completely normal for a baby that young to want to nurse constantly, pumping will also effect your supply. Your best option is to just sit and nurse on demand when she wants it, whether that be 10 minutes after the last feed or 3 hours after. I know that can be really hard with another child to look after but it will settle down soon. One time I had baby on the boob whilst cooking my son his macaroni cheese, not ideal at all but I didn't have anybody to help me out at the time. Octopus arms springs to mind.
I found my daughter nursed mostly at night after the first month past, sometimes I'd be nursing six hours on and off in the evenings before she took a break.

Everything you said sounds like normal behaviour. If she is pooing and peeing and gaining weight then you're doing fine. If you really want to continue to BF then nurse on demand. We all know how hard it is but it will get better. One year on and I can't believe I went through all that

 

[MommyJogger]

Wet diapers at any time of day are a great sign! I've never used olive oil, but lanolin (you can find it with the other baby stuff/pumping stuff at the store) is amazing.
Re: getting stuff done, baby carriers saved my sanity and I only have 1, lol! We loved the Moby wrap at this age, but infantino sells a few more affordable options if you didn't want to spend the money.
Here's a decent cheap one:
https://www.target.com/p/infantino-...ap-carrier/-/A-13800250#?lnk=sc_qi_detaillink
And a good, slightly more expensive one:
https://www.target.com/p/moby-wrap-...A-11004367#prodSlot=medium_1_1&term=moby+wrap
Being carried is very calming to most babies and it keeps your hands free for playing with an older child, meal preparation, doing chores. I had my DS in it sometimes when I went to the bathroom if he was having a day where he immediately melted down when put down. It's also great for shopping because they're less likely to cry in the store while being carried and you don't have to lug around a heavy carseat.

 

[Angelica]

I caved & gave her formula!!!
Made 3oz but only gave her 1 & shes finally content now & having a nap!

She would still b b/feeding now if i hadnt given her the bottle?!
The other thing is im indian & its weird to b/feed infront of ppl so wen soneone is over wat can i do?!

Hopeless situation

 

[Angelica]

Also im sitting here trying to express while dd is sleeping & NOTHING is coming out even tho shes been on the breast all morning!!!

 

[tntrying22]

If people come over I use one of these to feed:

https://www.uddercovers.com

I think the promo code - seven - will get you one for free if you're where they'll ship to you.

They also have them on amazon.com too. This one is particularly pretty and not the apron type! https://www.amazon.com/Bizzy-Babee-...qid=1375795957&sr=8-14&keywords=nursing+cover

Yes, you can take all of those supplements. Try eating oatmeal too. Works to boost supply and is good for you.

Also, try feeding, then taking a warm shower and then pumping or nursing again - the warmth will encourage a second let down of milk.

Here is a blog with some good ideas for pumping and increasing milk supply:
https://happyhomefairy.com/2013/06/07/extreme-pumping-tips-and-tricks/

Hang in there. You are doing a great job feeding your baby - it's a lot of work and can be very trying to be so tied to doing nothing but feeding and can feel very lonely and isolating. I know bfing isn't always for everyone so if you decide it's too much, then it's too much. In the end, the main thing is you tried and your baby is getting well fed be it breast or bottle!

 

[MommyJogger]

I caved & gave her formula!!!
Made 3oz but only gave her 1 & shes finally content now & having a nap!

She would still b b/feeding now if i hadnt given her the bottle?!
The other thing is im indian & its weird to b/feed infront of ppl so wen soneone is over wat can i do?!

Hopeless situation

To anyone who ff, please don't take offense to this.
The "content" that she appears to be feeling doesn't indicate that she was hungry and not getting anything. The "content" is because formula is too heavy for babies and just completely knocks them out. She sleeps so well after because her stomach has a much harder time digesting it and lots of blood is rushing to her intestines to try and break down what she's eaten. Like when you've had a full 4-course meal and you get up feeling like "oh no, I ate too much, I need to go lie down". You're full, but it's not a pleasant thing. It's much healthier to have frequent, lighter meals and be able to function optimally after. Eventually their bodies get used to this, but a baby so young is just going to pass out after.
I actually know several Indian women who feed wherever and whenever. I guess it depends which part of India you're from? If you really didn't want to feed in front of people, you could buy a nursing cover for the first several months and if baby starts to get fed up at the nursing cover, you could retire to a different room while you feed (feeds WILL space out as they get older, you won't always be stuck feeding constantly).

 

[summer rain]

If baby has been feeding all day it's very normal to not be able to express a drop, it doesn't mean there is nothing there xx

 

[mummytokeelie]

I feel for you about the constant feeding! My son is 12 days old and it can take us hours to get him down like you he will fall asleep, put him down and he cries and acts as if he is starving! Which he isn't! He just gets over tired and doesn't settle, so that's not necessarily that you have a bad supply or shes hubgry it can be alot to do with comfort, its crap but stick at it I know it's tiring my son didn't go to sleep until 3am the other night constant on off feeding! Xx

 

[MissCurly]

lots of excellent advice!

And yes, sorry babies are just that way inclined to feed, please try and relax and as tough as it seems try enjoy this, the simple act of a baby getting their nutrients from you is incredible, and not to mention the intense bond.

As for being indian, well i know where you're coming from, (in laws), and even now i feel awkward, but i feed anyway! it has to be done.

If you're not happy, go into another room and dont worry about your guests, your baby comes first. (i remember with my first, i used to be in my bedroom for 30-40 mins at a time).
If you're more comfortable, a shawl/scarf would do the trick of covering up.

 

[MissCurly]

Oh forgot to say, i am assuming you may have fenugreek seeds? whenever i wanted a boost, i would add about a tablespoon to water and boil- and make up about two litres of water, and drink that throughout the day,
if i wanted to improve the taste, i would include dill seeds with the above. HTH

 

[Angelica]

Thank u for the great advice ladies....

So firstly, i have now ordered a nursing cover so i can at least try & feel comfortable b/feeding in front of ppl ( this still doesnt include my dad, brother etc but its a start!)
Im actually born & brought up in the uk but background is north indian & its not the done thing to b/feed infront of certain ppl in my culture... :$

I have no problem retiring to another room to feed (and did this with my first) but even after bfeeding for 30-40 mins she still wouldnt be satisfied so wat to do?
That use to make me feel even worse, coming down after 30-40 mins only for dd to b crying & sucking hands & thats wat is happening again!!

No i dont have fenugreek seeks but was about to order the tablets, would seeds do the same job?

 

[MommyJogger]

Thank u for the great advice ladies....

So firstly, i have now ordered a nursing cover so i can at least try & feel comfortable b/feeding in front of ppl ( this still doesnt include my dad, brother etc but its a start!)
Im actually born & brought up in the uk but background is north indian & its not the done thing to b/feed infront of certain ppl in my culture... :$

I have no problem retiring to another room to feed (and did this with my first) but even after bfeeding for 30-40 mins she still wouldnt be satisfied so wat to do?
That use to make me feel even worse, coming down after 30-40 mins only for dd to b crying & sucking hands & thats wat is happening again!!

No i dont have fenugreek seeks but was about to order the tablets, would seeds do the same job?

I don't know if this would be acceptable in your culture or doable in your situation, but would it be too inappropriate to ask the people that you can't nurse in front of to keep their visits short for the next several weeks? Are they visiting specifically to see the new baby or is it just a regular thing that they come over? I can't imagine them being upset at you for mostly keeping to the bedroom or away in the den if you explain that it's a temporary situation so that you can take care of your baby (especially if they've got your older child to keep them entertained, haha!).