About to lose the plot

[dan-o]

Just found out my OH's sister is expecting the first grandchild to the family, she's been for her scan & has the same due date as mine would have been.
I'm not sure what to do or feel, right now.
I just don't know what I have done to deserve this mental torture.

Insult to injury is finding out on mothers day I think.

 

[pennypoptart]

Oh babes... I'm so sorry. Just don't know what I can say to make this any better. I took inspiration from what you said to me last week, about thinking that you and I are going to have 2010 babies..., that's the way that I got through mother's day today... that it is a celebration of the FANTASTIC mothers we are going to be.

I know it seems a slap in the face, but you are going to be the best mother...

I am sending you a million

 

[dan-o]

Thanks pennypop, but my PMA has shot out of the window

This MC is such a nightmare physically, but I was doing OK mentally, until now.

I just can't believe we were both going to have babies at the same time.
I don't know how long she was trying, or if she even was.
This is so awful, it's going to ruin everything, she's going to feel guilty, I know it.

I also feel guilty for being angry & jealous... insanely jealous. How am I supposed to handle this? I'm being very selfish & self centred right now, but I can't stop it.

Ugh, this is so not me.

 

[Kota]

Oh hun, please don't beat yourself up for feeling angry or jealous. We'd be more concerned if you felt nothing at all. I can't imagine how much of a kick in the teeth that news must have been for you today, when you really have been so positive throughout the whole situation you've had to deal with.
There's nothing I can say that will make it any easier so just going to give you a heap of and say I'm POSITIVE that you will be celebrating your own special news again in the not to far away future, and then your baby will have its own special day rather then having to share it!!

 

[toby2]

so sorry this has happened to you and your right,it was the crappest of days to find out
it seems so harsh that your due dates are the same....life can seem very cruel at times
I dont think anyone can say anything that will make you feel any better and i dont think anyone would expect you to feel any different-stay away if you can and protect yourself for now
i have found out this week my best friend is accidently preg with her third-she found out the wkend i had my 2nd m/c and told me last week, i love her to bits so i went to see her but i had a tough couple of days about it and watching her bump grow is something i am dreading.....
i hope you get your sticky bfp soon to ease your pain a little
xxx

 

[chella]

Just found out my OH's sister is expecting the first grandchild to the family, she's been for her scan & has the same due date as mine would have been.
I'm not sure what to do or feel, right now.
I just don't know what I have done to deserve this mental torture.

Insult to injury is finding out on mothers day I think.

Just read ur posy first of all sending loadsa and uve done nothing to deserve this torture, i felt like that as one of my close friends and i would have been due close dates which sadly i dont get too now and i just felt a sudden unfairness and honestly find it difficult but i hope u have the best luck as me in tryin again wen ur ready as i hope too and all the other ladies too as we all deserve our chances xxxx

 

[Peach Blossom]

Oh hon, it's just not fair. I would be feeling the exact way you are now. Let yourself feel those feelings of jealousy and anger and it will pass, if you try not to feel them they will be there bubbling away under the surface for so much longer. Thinking of you.

 

[Rumpskin]

Oh sweetheart, this must be so hard for you.

My sister is pregnant too and her due date is nearly a year to the day when my first one should have been born.

When I first found out, I was really really upset. However, seeing her grow and being so excited, I can only be excited for her to. Knowing that I am getting a new niece or nephew can only bring joy to our family.

In time, I am sure you will share her happiness xxxx

 

[mazza2003]

I truly feel for you. Please be brave. I know not much I can say will make you feel better but your day will come. Nature is so cruel and horrible and mean and nasty.

Chin up lovey. XX

 

[sam's mum]

I'm so sorry - I can't even imagine how hard this must be for you. Don't feel guilty for being angry or jealous - it's perfectly understandable, and you should be thinking of and looking after yourself right now x

 

[who's_mummy]

I'm really sorry to hear this, it all seems so cruel. As everyone else has said, your feelings are only natural so please don't feel guilty about them.


Gemma x

 

[Baby-Cakes]

Hi dan-o,

I'm so sorry your going through, talk about kicking a girl when their down ay?!

Don't worry how others are going to feel, you need to concentrate on yourself, I was one of 5 girls pregnant a work and my OH 2 cousins wives are pregnant too, it feels like complete baby boom doesn't it?. Everywhere I look there's bumps and tiny babies, feeling down at the mo and OH is losing patientance with me I think.

Sending

If you need a chat youcan always PM me xxx

Vikki

 

[Jkelmum]

Oh I just dont know what to say that will help but wanna give u lots of life is so cruel sometimes

 

[dan-o]

Thanks guys

I've just realised I will be an auntie for the first time too, on my own due date.
How on earth will I fill that role now?

I wish I'd never been pregnant now, it's just tainted everything.

Hoping these feeling will fade when/if I get pregnant again.

PRAYING my scan goes OK tomorrow & it was just a bit of missed tissue rather than a botched D&C which has ruined my fertility. So scared right now, what if I am infertile now? I feel sick.

 

[Jkelmum]

pray all will go as well as it can with your scan xxx

 

[rachjim98]

Oh my Dan-o.... When it rains it seems to pour huh. I am so sorry this is something else to weigh down your heart. Don't feel guilty for being upset it is only natural.
I am thinking of you today sweetie, and it will get better.
Things will start to improve, they cant get much worse right?

 

[Nicki2202]

Oh I'm soo sorry to hear what you have been hit with now...I really dont know what to say to you to try and make things better, but just to let you know my thoughts are with you and I hope everything goes well for you at the hosp

 

[MrsO29]

Oh hun.....life is so unfair sometimes.
I totally sympathise.
After my first m/c, I hated all pregnant women, hated that they all got their healthy babies and I had to lose mine. But I did get over it after about six months, and when my best friend announced her pregnancy I was totally happy for her.

Heres hoping your scan goes ok and perhaps you may fall pg before her baby is born, which would take away the sting a little bit?

I know it's not the same, but my sis-in-law has just found out she is pg too, about a month behind me, and I feel extra pressure to not m/c again, as I would then have to watch her pregnancy going ok, if you know what I mean.

Let us know how you get on at your scan
Take care xx

 

[moonmama]

PRAYING my scan goes OK tomorrow & it was just a bit of missed tissue rather than a botched D&C which has ruined my fertility. So scared right now, what if I am infertile now? I feel sick.[/QUOTE]

Me and my big mouth! Dan-o i've just realised that sharing my experience has scared you! I'm really sorry I didn't mean to! , I just wanted you to be cautious and not be fobbed off! I dont think its that common to have post erpc infections or to need 2 erpcs- think i've just been really unlucky! And I think you sought help much sooner than me whereas I just ignored the symptoms and hoped they would go away which is why the infection spread to my tubes.

Re; pregnant woman. I lost my little girl at 6 weeks 18 years ago. She was a twin and although time is a great healer it still gives me a knot in my tummy to see baby twins now! You just have to allow yourself to have those feelings. They are natural and entirely justified.

Good luck xxx

 

[who's_mummy]

Good luck today dan-o, hope it all goes ok.


Gemma x