Absolutely gutted... Postcode lottery at it's best!

[xxshellsxx]

Well my day has gone from good to bad

I've managed to stop crying long enough now to be able to write this...

DR has told me that all my tests are fine, DH's SA forms have been sent off and he'll have that done, but i'm sure that will be fine as he has 2 children from a previous relationship (not that we have them as his weirdo EX won't let us!!)... and here in lies my next problem!

Because DH has 2 children, There is absolutely NOTHING my GP can do for me! NOTHING!! She won't prescribe me clomid, progesterone cream, NOTHING!

She says my cycles at 23 days with a 9/10 LP is NORMAL!! And because he has 2 children not even a referral to a FS on the NHS is possible.... If i want any further treatment because of where i live i will have to pay for it!! At my first consultation with her she told me i couldn't have IVF on the NHS because of his kids, that I could just about cope with.. but to tell me i can't access medication without paying for a FS is outrageous!!

Oh and to top it off... the sign on her surgery door 'if you have a rash or chicken pox, you can not see this doctor as she is PREGNANT!'

Sitting listening to a pregnant DR tell me i can't access the NHS stung!!

I have paid my taxes all my life and contributed to the NHS and now I need treatment I can't access it!

They made me wait till i was 30 before i could access IVF... my relationship broke down during this time and now i meet the age criteria i can't have it!

To say i'm upset right now is an understatement!!

I am starting back on the Vitamin B complex she told me to stop taking, i'm going to holland and barrett tomorrow to buy Soy isoflavones.... If she won't help me, i'll help myself against her advice!!

DH can not believe what he has heard tonight, i'm so glad he came with me to hear it for himself! I cried in the office, i cried all the way home and collapsed into his arms and cried my heart out.

I'm tired now and so deflated, can't wait till bed time

Sorry for the rant but i know you'll understand xx

 

[MyFirstNoodle]

That's awful Hun where abouts in the UK do you live? Your OH's fertility could be ok....but you both need to be ok to conceive....everyone knows that.. and for her to say your not entitled to NHS help because your OH has kids is bulls*it!!!! I would definitely 100% change doctors and get a second opinion or even a third. It took me 3 doctors to finally get referred to a FS as I have PCOS and my previous partner had a 3 year old daughter and we got help. Definitely go and see another doctor Hun xxxx

 

[xxshellsxx]

Thanks hun, i've been online researching the decision and PCT commisioning policy and what she has said seems to be true (i'm in northamptonshire) I''ve even looked into the leicestershire criteria and it's the same - no NHS help if you have living children!

I was under a specialist all them years ago, could access everything but they made me wait! Now i can't access a damn thing.

I've found the address and phone number for the Healthcare commissioning complaints department, i don't think it will help me, but i figure if enough people complain they might look into the criteria and change it evenutally

I don't understand why i can't access a FS for medication on the NHS? I'm going to get DH to ring the Major hospital (not my local one) and get him to ask the questions to them, i'm just not strong enough to do it - just had to to tell my mum and broke down again...

 

[No Doubt]

I'm sorry...that really sucks, but I think you should definately try to get another doctor too. A 9-10 lp is not normal. Did she check to see if you have a uterine lining problem? Have you researched if there are any ways to extend your lp or increase you natural progesterone, or increase your uterine lining? I've heard that chocolate is supposed to help increase your uterine lining, but without really knowing why your lp is short, I know that doesn't help. Maybe try looking on here at some threads with ladies who have or have had short lps. I still think it's possible for you though hun, especially now that you are Oing. GL!

 

[xxshellsxx]

Thanks x I had an ultrasound scan done about 18 months ago and everything is fine with my lining, no endo, no PSOS and no fibroids, i was really on the up and hopeful that this time round i might actually fall pregnant somehow, but my dreams have been totally shattered today!

ALL my results came back great:

FSH - 5.8
LH- 5.8

3DPO - prog - 29.4
7DPO - Prog - 40.5

swabs -all clear
smear - normal

so quite clearly (well to me, you and anyone LTTTC) 9/10 day LP is the issue here!

I'm not sure how i will go about getting another doctor yet, but i'll definitely be contacting the major hospital as they have a fertility team and i've got the contact details saved now, to ask for advice and see weather they will give me a consultation or not to discuss this.

I'm going to take Vitamin B complex (which i was taking and she told me to stop), i'll also start taking Soy Isoflavones, which i have read lots about. Hoping the combination will do something to lengthen it.

Thanks for reading and replying ladies x

 

[uwa_amanda]

Thanks hun, i've been online researching the decision and PCT commisioning policy and what she has said seems to be true (i'm in northamptonshire) I''ve even looked into the leicestershire criteria and it's the same - no NHS help if you have living children!

I was under a specialist all them years ago, could access everything but they made me wait! Now i can't access a damn thing.

I've found the address and phone number for the Healthcare commissioning complaints department, i don't think it will help me, but i figure if enough people complain they might look into the criteria and change it evenutally

I don't understand why i can't access a FS for medication on the NHS? I'm going to get DH to ring the Major hospital (not my local one) and get him to ask the questions to them, i'm just not strong enough to do it - just had to to tell my mum and broke down again...

How can they tell you no to assistance when YOU have no living children. If your DH has no issues, his children from a previous relationship should not have to factor into yours and his decision to have children together. That whole living kids thing seems to be a load of shit. Sounds to me like they just don't want to help you. Hopefully the soy and vitamin b will help you lengthen your luteal phase and you'll finally get pregnant. I'm sorry if I sound harsh. It just really aggravates me to read about what you ladies in the UK have to go through just to get help.

 

[Armywife84]

NHS guidelines are so absurd. Their rules and restrictions make absolutely no sense!! They will help you at a certain age, then they won't help you when you're past a certain age, they don't care if it's secondary IF, etc.

Sounds to me as if she had other things on her agenda and the pregnant cow couldn't be bothered to help an infertile. Bitch.

Did you have a laparoscopy? They have to go in surgically to diagnose endo. It's not something an ultrasound will pick up.

 

[floatingbaby]

Oh man shells I was thinking about you and came searching to see if you had any news....so sorry I really, really hope you find someone who will look at you and listen to you and help you. It's completely absurd that they're letting his previous children determine your lack of motherhood. That's completely brutal. Ring up someone new, go in with confidence that you deserve a chance.

xo

 

[xxshellsxx]

Here is the guidelines for the NHS in the UK:

NICE guidance on treatment for fertility problems

Guidance from NICE (National Institute for Health and Clinical Excellence) recommends that up to three IVF cycles should be available on the NHS if:
the woman is aged between 23 and 39 at the time of treatment, and
one or both of you has been diagnosed with a fertility problem (such as having no sperm or both fallopian tubes blocked), or
you’ve been infertile for at least three years
Implementation of this guidance by PCTs currently varies.
PCTs’ additional criteria

Some PCTs apply additional criteria that affect access to NHS-funded IVF treatment. In a Department of Health (DH) survey of PCTs published in 2009, these criteria included:

*criteria related to children, such as no living children from the current relationship or previous relationships, or no children under a specified age living with the couple
*stopping smoking before being referred for treatment
*the woman’s age to be within a different range than recommended by NICE
*the man’s age to be within a specified range

The DH has endorsed a set of standardised access criteria for NHS fertility treatment developed by the patient support organisation, Infertility Network UK. PCTs are working towards implementing these criteria.

The age range and amount of treatments offered is dependant on where you live, it was over 30 and only 1 IVF in this region.

The additional criteria appears to apply in all the area's i've searched so far.

ARMYWIFE - No i didn't have a laparoscopy, they said they could tell when they measured the thickness of the lining during the ultra sound?? Something else to ask about when i finally ready to ring them.

Float - Hey hun, sorry struggling at the moment on the other board with annoying people, who are complaining over panicking over not a lot! Didn't post this up there as most on there have no idea what genuine frustration feels like! Hope your doing well, i still stalk the charting thread and try and offer advice to people on things, but many don't want to hear an honest opinion x

Hardly slept last night, DH went out for a match and came home drunk and sobbed his heart out in bed last night, we lay for ages just hugging and crying, he feels guilty because i can't access the services because of his boys.

Really showed me last night how much this means to him as well as me x

 

[uwa_amanda]

Hardly slept last night, DH went out for a match and came home drunk and sobbed his heart out in bed last night, we lay for ages just hugging and crying, he feels guilty because i can't access the services because of his boys.

Really showed me last night how much this means to him as well as me x

That right there makes me want to cry. I hope there will be someone who at least wants to talk to you about your LP issue.

 

[BearsMummy]

Shell, something doesn't sound right here, and I completely agree with Army, it sounds like she couldn't be bothered. Ask to see another GP and ask for a referral.

I have a LO, I was given Clomid for 6 cycles, there is no reason why you shouldn't have more investigations into your LP etc (although I do understand, here in UK, they are not shit-hot on stuff like that)

Please, do go back and get a second opinion.

Also, i have a PDF of the Full NICE guidelines if you would like me to email you a copy? (perks of working for NHS)

 

[xxshellsxx]

Shell, something doesn't sound right here, and I completely agree with Army, it sounds like she couldn't be bothered. Ask to see another GP and ask for a referral.

I have a LO, I was given Clomid for 6 cycles, there is no reason why you shouldn't have more investigations into your LP etc (although I do understand, here in UK, they are not shit-hot on stuff like that)

Please, do go back and get a second opinion.

Also, i have a PDF of the Full NICE guidelines if you would like me to email you a copy? (perks of working for NHS)

I've just tried to ring the general hospital fertility service to ask for another opinion but it's an answer machine at the moment, i'll leave a mesage later if they don't answer next time.

I'll pm you my email address, i'd really appreciate a look at those guidelines, thank you!!

xx

 

[BearsMummy]

Brilliant, i will email them to you right away. I hope it helps.

Let us know what response you get from the general hospital fertility service.

I'm always here if you need to chat xx

 

[xxshellsxx]

Thank you, i'm such a mess at the moment, i need to take control again and knowledge is the best place to start!

I'm working from home today... not going to get a lot done work wise that's for sure!

xx

 

[BearsMummy]

You certainly won't with over 500 pages of NICE guidelines to read now!

they are winging their way to you now.

 

[xxshellsxx]

That's some heavy reading lol

Ok, from the sections i've picked out that are relevant to me right now, i can not see anywhere on that document where it says 'no living children from either partner' in either the 'unexplained infertility' or 'IVF' section...

I've picked out the 'unexplained infertility' and once he has his SA results back i'm entitled to more tests that i have not had done like the HSG and laparoscopy.

Nowhere does it say that i can not access medication because he has children!

I've left a message at the general hospital FS so will wait for a call back and hopefully clear some of this up.

When it comes to a second opinion from a GP - can i just ring any surgery and request this? I've had the same surgery since birth (not the same dr as we see anyone there available).

Thanks ladies, the sadness is diminishing and anger is now taking over! The fight begins!

xx

 

[BearsMummy]

Glad it was of some help, and you have something to go armed with!! Sometimes it can be a bit of information overload!

I just asked to make an appointment with a different GP at my surgery when I saw an unsympathetic one. I was referred to a regular gynae at first, who done the usual bloods, SA, HSG etcetc, and then when we had no answers from that, i was referred to the FS at the hospital, from there I was given 6 months of Clomid, but no joy, so they have applied for funding for IVF for me at a specialist clinic. Like I said, I have a 12 year old, and I was led to believe I wouldn't receive any help, but I did, and I am waiting to see if my funding is approved.

Keep fighting, as long as you do, you will get somewhere.

 

[floatingbaby]

So glad you're mad!!!! And glad bears is here with her experiences!
Your DH sounds like a dream it's good to know how much he wants it too and how much he loves you, so sweet. My DH would never be sensitive like that...

I totally know what you mean about the other forum, we've lost a few of the originals and now lots of newbs freaking out and wanting help - or ppl who google and find a forum that looks like 'pro' chart readers! Ha!

Regardless, glad I can still stalk you! Keep at it!

 

[xxshellsxx]

I can't thank you ladies enough for spurring me on to not let this lie!!

I left a message for the general hospital Fertility service and they called me back today!

Seem's my GP was not entirely correct! Yes she was right when she said i couldn't have IVF or IUI without paying for it... but i'll fight that corner if it comes to it!

However... The FS have told me to go back to my GP and tell her she was wrong and to make a referral! If she still says no, i am to give her the number and contact name of the FS and she can call them directly! So i have left a message with the surgery for her to call me back tomorrow as she is not there today... and she had better call me back!

The only hic-up might be my BMI... but that's something i can change if i need to, i've done it before when i had to lose weight before going on the IVF waiting list (which i never got on because i wasn't 30) and i can do it again... amazing what motivates you to actually get that extra weight shifted!

SO thank you ladies, i have hope in heart again xx

 

[Mindy_mini]

I'm so sorry to read this. A friend of mine had the same problem. She had all kinds of issues - pcos, endo etc and she didn't qualify for any help because her husband had a child from a short fling years ago. Their marriage failed because of it (although tbh, I think it was dead in the water before all her conditions were diagnosed and they were refused assisted conception because of the previous child and the only thing that kept them together was the fact she wanted a baby iyswim)

It's wrong in so many ways. I hope you have some joy with your soy/vitamins etc