Absolutely gutted

[MDW]

Lost my little surprise on Thursday, at 13 weeks, although they expect they died at around 10 weeks. It all seems so unfair, we saw our baby bouncing around at 10 weeks on a scan (wasn't sure of dates so paid for one). Then had my 13 week scan, within 45 minutes I was being booked in for surgery (meant to have been today).

We got home, absolutely devastated. I've had two perfectly normal pregnancies, and the scan had given me the confidence to share the news with quite a few friends and family. Our parents had even started to buy things. I had to explain to my girls that the baby was gone, and my youngest became so upset because all she wants is to be a big sister.

Then my water broke on Friday and our little baby came out. So perfectly formed, tiny fingers, little legs. Just so unfair. I started bleeding heavily and ended up being taken to hospital. Fluids, anti-sickness meds, pain killers and two blood transfusions later I am home. I didn't have to have surgery, but I feel absolutely wiped out and hollow. The hospital was amazing, and the staff absolutely amazing. I'm on iron tablets and feel very weak, tears keep coming. I'm so lucky that my wonderful husband has been a rock, but i'm trying to make sure he is looked after too.

I'll be completely honest and say I have never taken miscarriages particularly serious. I mean in a way that I fell very easily in to the - 'just try again' mind-set. But now I get it. That was our baby, and they would have been so loved, and I miss them so much. We will try again, but it isn't quite as easy as that right now.

 

[Aphy]

I am so so sorry for your loss I can't say I know what you are going through but I can just imagine it must be the worst experience ever. Be strong xxx

 

[tcinks]

I'm so sorry I think a lot of people don't realize how devastating something can be until it happens to them. I'm sorry you had to experience this. You aren't alone. I'm glad you had good support from the hospital, that can make such a difference.

 

[momwithbabies]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I don't think anyone really knows how it feels until it happens to you. And there's no right way or process to go through your grief. Take your time in getting back into things, and I'm glad your husband is being supportive. That helps a lot. As far as breaking the news to the kids, I've been there and it's absolutely heartbreaking. As if it couldn't get worse, this was the one part that haunts me the most. But then I look back on it and think how my kids helped me through it - in their own perfect way. I hold my children tighter because I know how precious they really are. My loss was almost a year and a half ago, and the pain never goes away. But things will get better with time and surrounding yourself with loved ones. Or doing whatever you feel is right.

Blessings to you and I take care.

 

[MDW]

Thanks for the support and kind messages. I'm still struggling, the physical aspect of this is really hard. Turns out I lost about 4 pints of blood, and I can still only walk for about ten minutes or so before everything starts going a bit wobbly.

I feel like I'm in this limbo of missing being pregnant, waiting to be pregnant again and grieving for the baby. Feel a bit lost really

 

[Classic Girl]

Omg I'm so sorry! To me...13 weeks is more than a miscarriage! That's a full blown loss/stillbirth (even though I know it's not technically considered one) in my mind and I can't imagine the pain you're going thru both emotionally and physically.