Access??!!

[Younglutonmum]

Just wondering if any of you have thought about what sort of access your ex will be having once LO is born?? And how soon will that commence??

See me and my ex live nearly 2 hours away from each other & he wants to start taking LO back to his house the weekend afetr she's born. He wants to do this every weekend.

Ive told him number 1 - the baby will not be leaving me for a good while afetr she born

and number 2 - no way am I letting him take my newborn on a train every friday!!

He can either come up & visit us in London or lump it to be honest

 

[Jayden'sMummy]

I think your right to want this!
Just sit down an let him know how you feel about letting her go off that far without you for that long while shes so young.
Hope he understands xxx

 

[Younglutonmum]

I think your right to want this!
Just sit down an let him know how you feel about letting her go off that far without you for that long while shes so young.
Hope he understands xxx

Oh ive tried talking to him hunni. He totally doesn't agree!! But oh well, im not going to be swayed on this one lol!!

xxx xxx

 

[loulou83]

My babie's Dad lives in the US.. glad I don't have to deal with all this!

 

[Jayden'sMummy]

Oh ive tried talking to him hunni. He totally doesn't agree!! But oh well, im not going to be swayed on this one lol!!

xxx xxx

! Stand your ground and make him understand lol. xx

 

[~ Vicky ~]

Its something i've thought about but thankfully it shouldn't be too much trouble for me.

Ex-OH (sperm donor) is in the RAF and is currently 2.5 hours away from me by car. In september he moves base again and will probably be moving even futhur south again and will end up being 4 hours away from me. Then sometime between september and december he'll be going to Afghan for 6 months. He'll be missing the birth of his first baby completely, and won't see them for the first 4-6 months of their life. After then, god knows where he'll be going.

I don't drive so he'll have to come to us. If he hadn't been an asshole apart from going to Afghan I would be moving round the country/world with him but thats his choice. I expect he'll only see bubs once a month going by his attitude anyhow.

 

[Younglutonmum]

! Stand your ground and make him understand lol. xx

Bloody men!! Ive had enough lol

xx

 

[Younglutonmum]

Its something i've thought about but thankfully it shouldn't be too much trouble for me.

Ex-OH (sperm donor) is in the RAF and is currently 2.5 hours away from me by car. In september he moves base again and will probably be moving even futhur south again and will end up being 4 hours away from me. Then sometime between september and december he'll be going to Afghan for 6 months. He'll be missing the birth of his first baby completely, and won't see them for the first 4-6 months of their life. After then, god knows where he'll be going.

I don't drive so he'll have to come to us. If he hadn't been an asshole apart from going to Afghan I would be moving round the country/world with him but thats his choice. I expect he'll only see bubs once a month going by his attitude anyhow.

I reckon my ex will probably bother about once a month aswell. He wont be at the birth either. I did ask him 2 but he decided to go on holiday with his mates the day im due. Isn't he lovely girls?? lol

xx

 

[Jayden'sMummy]

Bloody men!! Ive had enough lol

xx

Know how you feel! at least your babys daddy wants to know your bubs, mine is just a prick all together and doesn't know what he wants. i just say 'leave em an let em be' ha xxx

 

[Younglutonmum]

Know how you feel! at least your babys daddy wants to know your bubs, mine is just a prick all together and doesn't know what he wants. i just say 'leave em an let em be' ha xxx

Oh to be honest mine doesn't know what he wants either. On a good day he wants weekend access but thats rare, 90% of time he doesn't want to know us.

Grrrrr

 

[~ Vicky ~]

Haha we could easily rival each other for who has the worst ex. At least we know we're not alone

 

[Younglutonmum]

Lol tell me about it!!

God can you imagine a these men in a room together? Id love to listen in on there conversations & how they justify what they do!!

 

[~ Vicky ~]

Hah, to be a fly on the wall...

 

[Younglutonmum]

If only lol

 

[Jayden'sMummy]

Oh to be honest mine doesn't know what he wants either. On a good day he wants weekend access but thats rare, 90% of time he doesn't want to know us.

Grrrrr

You will be a great mummy, with or without him.
As long as your baby has got you then thats more than enough!
He will open his eyes once his baby is born, lets hope its not to late.
Thinkin of you xx

 

[demonmadcat]

My ex-OH is the opposite... unfortunately..

he wants the baby half of the time.. like that's gonna happen.. i'd like to see him try and breastfeed..

He wants to be there at scans and at the birth (I don't want him there) and he's already decided that he wants his parents to be just as involved as him..

I wish he'd said that he wasn't too bothered.. he just stresses me out.. I don't mind him wanting to be involved once it's born, perhaps two/three times a week or so (between feeds so I don't need to express) but I feel he wants to be there full time, which just isn't practical, or what I want..

I do kinda feel selfish. I know that there's a lot of people out there that would love to have a partner like this, but I just want to hit him every time I see him...

So, if anyone wants him, just let me know.. lol..

Em

 

[Moulder86]

Well he's told me he'll be at the birth, he won 't let me down or the baby he's going to be a dad but I don't think that'll involve him taking baby out for a while. And I don't want his new GF near my kid for a while either so I think it'll be a case of him coming round and seeing me or me taking bubs to see him.

He's not really been the sort to have his 4 yr old over night or anything like that so I don't think it's something I'll have to worry about for a while.

xx

 

[~ Vicky ~]

See my ex confuses me. He works away and will be in Afghan when the baby is born, and I can accept that. But a few weeks ago we had a convo and I was very upset over our whole break-up so I told him I didn't think I could do this whole keeping in touch thing and shared access if it meant seeing him all the time happy without me, and he went beserk. He started screaming that I can't and won't keep his child away from him, he has rights etc.

So why hasn't he once just text me to ask how his baby is doing? and why didn't he ask me how the scan went or wish me luck beforehand? He's trying to have it both ways, so i'm actually thankful he's going to be away so much. It'll make it a hell of a lot easier.

 

[lauren-kate]

I had kind of the same thing with that.. I think it's a male thing in that they don't really feel like they can be involved until the baby's born. For some reason, they don't seem to think that there's work and money and stress involved in pregnancy, and not just after the baby is born. Ryan's dad didn't really show a lot of interest until he was born. He didn't see the scan pictures, feel him kick, he didn't come to appointments, or the birth.. and in a way, that makes me feel really sad and disappointed. If it was the other way around and I was the dad, surely I'd feel like I'd missed out on a huge part of his life?? That does bother me a bit tbh.

Ryan's dad sees him a few times a week for an hour or so. He looks after him once a week for an hour whilst I'm on my driving lesson and spends Sunday with him at his parents house. It annoys me a bit that he doesn't usually spend longer than an hour with him most days though. It's not really long enough imo. He doesn't get to see all the things that make having him great, or on the flip-side, all the things that make it so very difficult. Also, I'd love to have a few hours to myself, even if just to wash my hair, have a bath and do the washing up (which I'm currently having to rush to do in Ryan's 3 20-minutes-at-a-time naps). Before he was born, he's said things like 'Would you mind if he stayed at mine for some weekends?', but he's not mentioned anything like that again. I'm guessing it's because he's working, but I really need a break. I was going to say that I should be grateful for the amount he does see him (because it isn't like he never sees him) - But why should 'I' be grateful. More than anything, this is for HIM and Ryan. I don't want him to be his babysitter, I want him to be his dad. Sorry about this, I got carried away x

 

[Jayden'sMummy]

Lauren-kate maybe you could suggest it to him. say you need some 'you' time and feel he needs to be spending much more time with his son. xx