Access?!!

[lorrilou]

Im having a major issue with my ex over access to the kids.

I want us to agree to set days, which ive said 3 nights a week (not overnight stays mind) and every other weekend from friday till sunday. Which i think is more than fair

The problem is he wont agree to this, he says he either sees them everyday or doesnt see them at all and that im being horrible for not letting him see them everyday blah, blah, blah.....

Am i in the wrong for wanting a set routine for my kids?!!

 

[TiredNurse27]

Absolutely not! You're being more than fair with the times you're suggesting. I can't see how someone who's separated would think that every day is a normal or reasonable request? How are you supposed to move on with your life with your ex around 24/7

 

[hancake100]

I can understand him wanting to see them every day but at the same time he has got to realise that cant be an option with you no longer being together, How would you be able to move on with having to see him every single day??

I would want to set something up like you have suggested and its only fair on the children to have a routine to stick to. And what he said about if he doesnt see them every day then he wouldnt want to see them at all is a little childish. Hope you work something out soon hun

 

[lorrilou]

This is what im trying to get through to him, he doesnt get that by starting a "routine" now for the kids it will benefit everyone in the long run. Like if he meets someone else in the future, is he really gonna want to be around everyday? He says he will but i really cant see it and dont want the kids to ever feel like they've been dumped.

 

[littlekitten8]

I think you are being more than fair. As the others have said, how in the hell are you meant to move on if he is there 24/7. He needs to understand that actually kids adapt quite well but that if he tries to continue seeing them every day that it will be a million times harder on them when it comes time that he won't be around every day. Like if he has any more children. Men just don't seem to understand this it seems!