Mary Jo
Mummy to Adam and Joel
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- Jan 5, 2009
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Adam has finally let me have a little while to write my birth story... 
It all started on Friday morning, August 14th, at 10.20am. I was 3 days overdue with not many signs of things going on some bloody mucous plug on Monday and, according the two traces I had Tue and Wed at the day assessment unit (for reduced movement), I was having contractions, though they were not regular and they were painless, just tightening of my belly, which went hard as a rock. I never timed them.
Wednesday night Id strained my pelvis trying on trousers, so was in a lot of pain from SPD anyway and I couldnt time any pains from elsewhere down there because I could never tell when they started and finished.
So, Friday morning, I was in bed eating scrambled eggs on toast when I felt a little gush. Checked with my fingers and thought it was just some normal slippy cervical discharge. I yelled for Chris to get some tissue. Then there was some more little gushes when I stood up but it was liquid on the toilet roll and it soaked a few wads of it. It was definitely watery and pink, which Id read was often the amniotic fluid.
I called the labour ward and explained it all and they said to come down to the day assessment unit, no rush. So I had a shower and did my hair and we were there by about 12pm. Waited an hour to be seen then was hooked up to do a trace, where it showed baby was fine and I was definitely having contractions, regular and 5 minutes apart, though still almost painless.
But my blood pressure was up, from being around 111/72 all through the pregnancy it was around 138/93, so the midwife wanted to do blood tests for PE. She also did a swab to see if it had been my waters and a scan to double check the position of his head, which showed it was STILL not engaged, even a little.
The swab said it had been my waters so we were sent straight up to the labour ward, where I was hooked up for another trace. Eventually saw the registrar, who said that because my waters had broken (though not all gone, they were leaking steadily) and his head was not engaged, I had to stay in because there was a risk of babys cord prolapsing, and if nothing happened overnight Id be induced after 24 hours, so in the morning. If my cervix was favourable, itd be the pessary, if not, the drip. But they wouldnt leave it any longer because of the risk of infection as well.
BP was back to normal by now, and blood tests clear, so no PE. The contractions started to become painful around 5pm; they were like period pains, nothing major, so I didnt take anything and didnt ask.
At about 6.45pm, they found me a bed in the antenatal ward (wed been hanging round in a triage room) and off we went. It was starting to get more painful and I began timing the contractions they were 3 minutes apart and lasting 1 minute each. I was wishing I had my TENS machine on but wed come out without the instruction book that said where exactly to place the pads and I didnt want to guess. At around 8pm, Chris went and asked if someone could show us and was told yes, someone would come along in a bit. About 2 hours went past and nobody did and I started to get a bit upset, because nobody had come along to tell us anything either, we were just left alone, I didnt know how to use the gas and air and they didnt even bring water. I was getting frustrated at being there because Id hoped to be able to do the first part of labour at home where I could have a bath, use my TENS and bounce on my birthing ball, do what I could to manage the pain before coming to hospital. Instead I was left on a bed with nothing.
So I went wandering around because walking was better than lying down, and bumped into a midwife who saw I was upset and came to talk to us. She then said nobody could help if we didnt have the instructions. We were so angry at this because I knew that you had to put the TENS on at the first pains and if wed been at home itd have been on hours before; and also, if theyd said that to Chris in the first place, hed have gone home and got the instructions and come back.
This was about 10.30pm and wed already been told that Chris would be asked to leave at 9, because antenatal ward visiting hours officially ended at 8.30pm, so if he did leave he wouldnt have been let back anyway. So we had no option but to buy some access to the hospital internet and look up where to place the TENS pads ourselves. By then, I was really in too much pain for it to help much, though it worked as a distraction.
Not long after that I got assessed again, BP fine, trace fine, contractions still regular but not enough. And then another doctor came around. He wanted to discuss the reduced fetal movement Id noticed earlier in the week, which I was still having I could definitely feel the baby but not as often as before and he never had his active time that evening. So he decided that although normally women in my situation would be sent home and left for 48 hours for labour to progress naturally (contrary to what the consultant had said earlier), he didnt think Id have the baby before Sunday by myself and so hed rather start induction straightaway with the pessary.
After that another midwife came around and I cant remember what she said exactly but it was clear she hadnt looked at my notes the doc had written, about getting the pessary. So we told her and she was surprised and went to check. Came back and said yes, I was to have it (effing lack of communication was doing my head in). Pessary wasnt nice, it was bloody painful actually, she shoved this thing like a tampon up my daisy and I was about screaming. She told me I was only 2-3cm dilated but fully effaced and therefore cervix was favourable and she didnt think labour would take long.
At 12.30am, a midwife said Chris should leave because nothing was going to happen in the next few hours and hed be better at home and resting, shed call and get him back when necessary.
About an hour later, I was getting a bit desperate with the pain and asked for someone to show me how to use the gas and air. Prior to this, I felt they were not taking my pain seriously I wish now (and Id know again) to insist on it as soon as I started feeling it bad, because there was a knack to timing the breathing and being at maximum out-of-it-ness at the top of the pain and I never quite got the hang of it. It made me feel drunk, very head-spinny, which was weird because Im in recovery and hadnt drunk alcohol in over 6 years, and I started wanting to sing songs and call people, and its a good thing it was after 1.30am or I would have been. As it was, I texted a friend in Australia. It was really, really trippy but it did eff all for the pain, just made me feel distanced from it while the effects lasted. I didnt like the feeling of being on another planet but I was clearheaded in between times. Except there werent really many of those because the contractions were pretty close together and I had to be mindful of how out of it (or not) I was in case I was about to get another contraction. Thing was, they were not doing as I thought they would and rising to a peak of pain before dropping off, they were at the top of the pain practically immediately so by the time I realised I was having one and started breathing in, I was in agony before the head spinnyness came on.
So I got to the point where I knew I wasnt going to be able to go on for too much longer, and Id already said I wanted an epidural (definitely wanted one now because Id not had the chance to use any of the other forms of pain management Id planned on, except the TENS and that was put on me too late; also it was always my plan if I ended up being induced) so I said I really wanted one and the midwife said shed call for the anaesthetist. By this time the pain was crippling even on the gas and air, just right down low, not up my belly at all and not at all in my back. Like period pain times a million. Oh and the pessary had dropped out.
They found me a room in the delivery suite, and I had to walk around with no gas and air, which was awful, I was doubled over with the midwife yelling at me to breathe deeply. In the delivery room, she brought me a birthing ball, which was nicer than a bed but not much use really. And I got my gas and air back. At that point, about 5.15am, I called Chris and cried down the phone begging him to come straight back; he was back in 20 minutes.
Thank GOD the midwife who came in for the first part of the active labour was absolutely lovely (I had felt the ones in antenatal ward were fairly unsympathetic). The anaesthetist turned up and they set up the saline drip and then the epidural, around 6am. It was an odd feeling, the injection into my spine, but Id have dealt with far worse in order to kill the contraction pain. I was also set up on a monitor to track the contractions and babys heartbeat, which was actually very reassuring even though it meant I was tied to the bed.
The epidural was awesome. I was numbish and warm in my legs but not paralysed at all, I could walk to the loo. But the contraction pain was gone and I could rest I could not sleep before, as there was only 2 mins between contractions. I had a boost button when I needed it.
So the next few hours were quite dull, they checked my BP every hour and I just laid on the bed waiting. Then the midwife decided that I was not progressing fast enough and as baby was still not engaged, she decided to break my waters. This puzzled me as it was because my waters had broken that I was in at all and been induced! She explained that it was my hind waters that had broken and she needed to break the forewaters, which were around babys head and stopping him pressing down. I didnt feel anything, they mopped me up (which they had been frequently anyway as I was bleeding a bit as well as leaking) but they said there was meconium in that baby had passed, so they needed the paediatrician to be there at or immediately after the birth in case baby was distressed, though his heart rate was fine.
By about 11am, I was fully dilated and the midwife (a different but also lovely one) said shed leave me an hour and then I could start pushing. So just after midday they had me pushing. I couldnt feel anything but I could sense the tightening and feel enormous pressure of the babys head, and Chris was watching the monitor so he could tell me when to get read as well. It was hard work, really hard work, and they had me in a few different positions before the midwife (whod been joined by a student) had me lie on my right side with my left leg in the air and my hand hooked round it. I honestly thought at one point that nothing was going anywhere and was sure some sort of intervention would be needed. But it was ok - I did three pushes per contraction, over about 8 or so contractions, and finally they said they could see the head and made me slow down and ease it out, which felt like passing a football, and they pulled the rest of the baby out, which felt like passing a load of slippery sausages.
(Apparently Chris had heard the student suggest they might need the forceps but the other midwife thought I could manage alone. I am so glad she did.)
So my son, Adam Elliott, was born at 12.49pm on Saturday August 15th. My first glimpse of him I thought he was bit purple in colour; because hed pooed in the water, they couldnt give him straight to me, they wiped him a bit and passed him over wrapped in a towel. Even with poo on his head, he was so so so beautiful and a lot bigger than Id thought he would be. At some point the paediatrician came in and took him to the warm thing and checked him over quickly and then Chris cut the cord.
I got the injection to deliver the placenta and had Adam back to cuddle. I was shaking with relief that he was here and safe and well and I cried on him more than a bit.
Then the midwife and student examined me and found I had a 2nd degree tear and needed stitching up. I had to get my feet in the stirrups and lay there like a turkey getting ready for Christmas dinner for about 45 minutes, stuffed with a tampon while they sewed up my perineum.
I held Adam for a while then passed him over to Chris and called my mum and dad and then my brother, and sent some texts, all while being stitched. Then Adam got weighed, he was 8lb 1oz, so much bigger than I expected, I was sure hed be 7lb 4oz or something. I started to feel faint and sick so they got me water, and then tea and toast, which I had to force down. Later I found out Id lost 300ml of blood and my BP had dropped quite a bit.
About 4pm we transferred to the postnatal ward. The epidural had worn off and I could walk alone by this time but the pain was kicking in big time; walking was agony because of my pelvic pain, which had been massively exacerbated by the position I had to assume for pushing.
So, I spent the next 2 days in hospital, getting quite a lot of help and support from the midwives, who were mostly very nice, and gradually the pain lessened. I still feel swollen down below and like Ive shat a football, the stitches are tight and not nice, and getting up and down, sitting and moving in bed is painful, but I feel fine generally. Adam had to be under observation for 24 hours because of the meconium, and he developed a slight jaundice but after he got into the swing of breastfeeding and nursed for 12 hours straight on Sunday night/Monday morning, it improved and didnt need treating, and he and I were released Monday afternoon.
Since then he and I and daddy have been getting used to each other, not sleeping much, and doing a lot of gazing at each other. I just feel so utterly blessed, I always dreamed of having my own child, never thought Id be so lucky to have one, and I can hardly believe he is here and so wonderful. He is definitely the best thing thats ever happened to me, worth all the stress and anxiety and pain a million, billion times over.
https://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a189/ariel3112/front-3.jpg
https://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a189/ariel3112/IMG_2574.jpg
It all started on Friday morning, August 14th, at 10.20am. I was 3 days overdue with not many signs of things going on some bloody mucous plug on Monday and, according the two traces I had Tue and Wed at the day assessment unit (for reduced movement), I was having contractions, though they were not regular and they were painless, just tightening of my belly, which went hard as a rock. I never timed them.
Wednesday night Id strained my pelvis trying on trousers, so was in a lot of pain from SPD anyway and I couldnt time any pains from elsewhere down there because I could never tell when they started and finished.
So, Friday morning, I was in bed eating scrambled eggs on toast when I felt a little gush. Checked with my fingers and thought it was just some normal slippy cervical discharge. I yelled for Chris to get some tissue. Then there was some more little gushes when I stood up but it was liquid on the toilet roll and it soaked a few wads of it. It was definitely watery and pink, which Id read was often the amniotic fluid.
I called the labour ward and explained it all and they said to come down to the day assessment unit, no rush. So I had a shower and did my hair and we were there by about 12pm. Waited an hour to be seen then was hooked up to do a trace, where it showed baby was fine and I was definitely having contractions, regular and 5 minutes apart, though still almost painless.
But my blood pressure was up, from being around 111/72 all through the pregnancy it was around 138/93, so the midwife wanted to do blood tests for PE. She also did a swab to see if it had been my waters and a scan to double check the position of his head, which showed it was STILL not engaged, even a little.
The swab said it had been my waters so we were sent straight up to the labour ward, where I was hooked up for another trace. Eventually saw the registrar, who said that because my waters had broken (though not all gone, they were leaking steadily) and his head was not engaged, I had to stay in because there was a risk of babys cord prolapsing, and if nothing happened overnight Id be induced after 24 hours, so in the morning. If my cervix was favourable, itd be the pessary, if not, the drip. But they wouldnt leave it any longer because of the risk of infection as well.
BP was back to normal by now, and blood tests clear, so no PE. The contractions started to become painful around 5pm; they were like period pains, nothing major, so I didnt take anything and didnt ask.
At about 6.45pm, they found me a bed in the antenatal ward (wed been hanging round in a triage room) and off we went. It was starting to get more painful and I began timing the contractions they were 3 minutes apart and lasting 1 minute each. I was wishing I had my TENS machine on but wed come out without the instruction book that said where exactly to place the pads and I didnt want to guess. At around 8pm, Chris went and asked if someone could show us and was told yes, someone would come along in a bit. About 2 hours went past and nobody did and I started to get a bit upset, because nobody had come along to tell us anything either, we were just left alone, I didnt know how to use the gas and air and they didnt even bring water. I was getting frustrated at being there because Id hoped to be able to do the first part of labour at home where I could have a bath, use my TENS and bounce on my birthing ball, do what I could to manage the pain before coming to hospital. Instead I was left on a bed with nothing.
So I went wandering around because walking was better than lying down, and bumped into a midwife who saw I was upset and came to talk to us. She then said nobody could help if we didnt have the instructions. We were so angry at this because I knew that you had to put the TENS on at the first pains and if wed been at home itd have been on hours before; and also, if theyd said that to Chris in the first place, hed have gone home and got the instructions and come back.
This was about 10.30pm and wed already been told that Chris would be asked to leave at 9, because antenatal ward visiting hours officially ended at 8.30pm, so if he did leave he wouldnt have been let back anyway. So we had no option but to buy some access to the hospital internet and look up where to place the TENS pads ourselves. By then, I was really in too much pain for it to help much, though it worked as a distraction.
Not long after that I got assessed again, BP fine, trace fine, contractions still regular but not enough. And then another doctor came around. He wanted to discuss the reduced fetal movement Id noticed earlier in the week, which I was still having I could definitely feel the baby but not as often as before and he never had his active time that evening. So he decided that although normally women in my situation would be sent home and left for 48 hours for labour to progress naturally (contrary to what the consultant had said earlier), he didnt think Id have the baby before Sunday by myself and so hed rather start induction straightaway with the pessary.
After that another midwife came around and I cant remember what she said exactly but it was clear she hadnt looked at my notes the doc had written, about getting the pessary. So we told her and she was surprised and went to check. Came back and said yes, I was to have it (effing lack of communication was doing my head in). Pessary wasnt nice, it was bloody painful actually, she shoved this thing like a tampon up my daisy and I was about screaming. She told me I was only 2-3cm dilated but fully effaced and therefore cervix was favourable and she didnt think labour would take long.
At 12.30am, a midwife said Chris should leave because nothing was going to happen in the next few hours and hed be better at home and resting, shed call and get him back when necessary.
About an hour later, I was getting a bit desperate with the pain and asked for someone to show me how to use the gas and air. Prior to this, I felt they were not taking my pain seriously I wish now (and Id know again) to insist on it as soon as I started feeling it bad, because there was a knack to timing the breathing and being at maximum out-of-it-ness at the top of the pain and I never quite got the hang of it. It made me feel drunk, very head-spinny, which was weird because Im in recovery and hadnt drunk alcohol in over 6 years, and I started wanting to sing songs and call people, and its a good thing it was after 1.30am or I would have been. As it was, I texted a friend in Australia. It was really, really trippy but it did eff all for the pain, just made me feel distanced from it while the effects lasted. I didnt like the feeling of being on another planet but I was clearheaded in between times. Except there werent really many of those because the contractions were pretty close together and I had to be mindful of how out of it (or not) I was in case I was about to get another contraction. Thing was, they were not doing as I thought they would and rising to a peak of pain before dropping off, they were at the top of the pain practically immediately so by the time I realised I was having one and started breathing in, I was in agony before the head spinnyness came on.
So I got to the point where I knew I wasnt going to be able to go on for too much longer, and Id already said I wanted an epidural (definitely wanted one now because Id not had the chance to use any of the other forms of pain management Id planned on, except the TENS and that was put on me too late; also it was always my plan if I ended up being induced) so I said I really wanted one and the midwife said shed call for the anaesthetist. By this time the pain was crippling even on the gas and air, just right down low, not up my belly at all and not at all in my back. Like period pain times a million. Oh and the pessary had dropped out.
They found me a room in the delivery suite, and I had to walk around with no gas and air, which was awful, I was doubled over with the midwife yelling at me to breathe deeply. In the delivery room, she brought me a birthing ball, which was nicer than a bed but not much use really. And I got my gas and air back. At that point, about 5.15am, I called Chris and cried down the phone begging him to come straight back; he was back in 20 minutes.
Thank GOD the midwife who came in for the first part of the active labour was absolutely lovely (I had felt the ones in antenatal ward were fairly unsympathetic). The anaesthetist turned up and they set up the saline drip and then the epidural, around 6am. It was an odd feeling, the injection into my spine, but Id have dealt with far worse in order to kill the contraction pain. I was also set up on a monitor to track the contractions and babys heartbeat, which was actually very reassuring even though it meant I was tied to the bed.
The epidural was awesome. I was numbish and warm in my legs but not paralysed at all, I could walk to the loo. But the contraction pain was gone and I could rest I could not sleep before, as there was only 2 mins between contractions. I had a boost button when I needed it.
So the next few hours were quite dull, they checked my BP every hour and I just laid on the bed waiting. Then the midwife decided that I was not progressing fast enough and as baby was still not engaged, she decided to break my waters. This puzzled me as it was because my waters had broken that I was in at all and been induced! She explained that it was my hind waters that had broken and she needed to break the forewaters, which were around babys head and stopping him pressing down. I didnt feel anything, they mopped me up (which they had been frequently anyway as I was bleeding a bit as well as leaking) but they said there was meconium in that baby had passed, so they needed the paediatrician to be there at or immediately after the birth in case baby was distressed, though his heart rate was fine.
By about 11am, I was fully dilated and the midwife (a different but also lovely one) said shed leave me an hour and then I could start pushing. So just after midday they had me pushing. I couldnt feel anything but I could sense the tightening and feel enormous pressure of the babys head, and Chris was watching the monitor so he could tell me when to get read as well. It was hard work, really hard work, and they had me in a few different positions before the midwife (whod been joined by a student) had me lie on my right side with my left leg in the air and my hand hooked round it. I honestly thought at one point that nothing was going anywhere and was sure some sort of intervention would be needed. But it was ok - I did three pushes per contraction, over about 8 or so contractions, and finally they said they could see the head and made me slow down and ease it out, which felt like passing a football, and they pulled the rest of the baby out, which felt like passing a load of slippery sausages.
(Apparently Chris had heard the student suggest they might need the forceps but the other midwife thought I could manage alone. I am so glad she did.)
So my son, Adam Elliott, was born at 12.49pm on Saturday August 15th. My first glimpse of him I thought he was bit purple in colour; because hed pooed in the water, they couldnt give him straight to me, they wiped him a bit and passed him over wrapped in a towel. Even with poo on his head, he was so so so beautiful and a lot bigger than Id thought he would be. At some point the paediatrician came in and took him to the warm thing and checked him over quickly and then Chris cut the cord.
I got the injection to deliver the placenta and had Adam back to cuddle. I was shaking with relief that he was here and safe and well and I cried on him more than a bit.
Then the midwife and student examined me and found I had a 2nd degree tear and needed stitching up. I had to get my feet in the stirrups and lay there like a turkey getting ready for Christmas dinner for about 45 minutes, stuffed with a tampon while they sewed up my perineum.
I held Adam for a while then passed him over to Chris and called my mum and dad and then my brother, and sent some texts, all while being stitched. Then Adam got weighed, he was 8lb 1oz, so much bigger than I expected, I was sure hed be 7lb 4oz or something. I started to feel faint and sick so they got me water, and then tea and toast, which I had to force down. Later I found out Id lost 300ml of blood and my BP had dropped quite a bit.
About 4pm we transferred to the postnatal ward. The epidural had worn off and I could walk alone by this time but the pain was kicking in big time; walking was agony because of my pelvic pain, which had been massively exacerbated by the position I had to assume for pushing.
So, I spent the next 2 days in hospital, getting quite a lot of help and support from the midwives, who were mostly very nice, and gradually the pain lessened. I still feel swollen down below and like Ive shat a football, the stitches are tight and not nice, and getting up and down, sitting and moving in bed is painful, but I feel fine generally. Adam had to be under observation for 24 hours because of the meconium, and he developed a slight jaundice but after he got into the swing of breastfeeding and nursed for 12 hours straight on Sunday night/Monday morning, it improved and didnt need treating, and he and I were released Monday afternoon.
Since then he and I and daddy have been getting used to each other, not sleeping much, and doing a lot of gazing at each other. I just feel so utterly blessed, I always dreamed of having my own child, never thought Id be so lucky to have one, and I can hardly believe he is here and so wonderful. He is definitely the best thing thats ever happened to me, worth all the stress and anxiety and pain a million, billion times over.
https://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a189/ariel3112/front-3.jpg
https://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a189/ariel3112/IMG_2574.jpg
