Adopting NICU baby nephew, advice?

[Haack]

Hi all... I haven't posted in these forums for a couple years. Here is my story...

I'm 31 years old, married 10 years. I have two boys (ages 2 & 4).

My younger sister is a drug addict and wound up pregnant. She gave birth to him September 17th at only 22 weeks + 2 days. I don't have much information on his condition. He was 1.5 pounds at birth (I think, maybe less)... He has had surgery for heart murmur. Cysts on left lung... little things here and there. I only know what my parents tell me.

Currently my sister is the only one who can call for information. The hospital is 1.5 hour drive for them... and she has only been to visit him 3 times (for the day).... He is 6 weeks old now.

The hospital is a 6 hour drive for me. It breaks my heart that nobody is visiting this little guy! I can't even get my sister to add me to the contact list. She doesn't have a problem with me... she is just "too busy to get around to it"...

Anyways, even during pregnancy we knew there was a chance she wouldn't be allowed to keep this baby. I made it clear to everyone that my husband and I would adopt him if it became an option.

Yesterday the social worker called me to confirm my interest. She couldn't give me an official answer, but it sounds like my sister will be losing custody. And the easiest way to take care of this is for my sister to sign her rights away to us. Which she has agreed to do... once the official decision has been made. I don't know when this will be... Next week... next month... I don't know.

The baby is estimated to be in the hospital until at least January.

I am hoping to be able to get down there to see him a few times (for a few nights each visit)... over the next couple months.

But I don't think I can do that until papers are signed... Plus, having my 2 little kids... I would need to arrange for someone to watch them.

Normally my husbands parents watch the kids for us. Which will work during November & December... but unfortunately they are going on a trip January-March when I feel I would need them the most.

I don't know what I'm going to do.

 

[Srrme]

What a tough situation to be in! I'm so sorry your family is going through this.

If I were you, I would pressure your sister to add you to the contact list ASAP -- bug her about it every day until she does it! It's the LEAST she can do!

Good luck! I hope it all goes smoothly! You're wonderful for doing this!

 

[LoraLoo]

How very sad 😔 for everyone involved. Could the social worker not get you added to the contact list.
6 hours seems such a long way away. Is there no possibility of getting him moved closer to you as he progresses? Least you will be able to visit him more often. Heartbreaking! I think it's amazing that you are going to take him on, poor little man.
I really hope your sister manages to get the help And support she needs to get clean x

 

[AP]

I hope you can get things signed over quickly. i just wanted to reassure you that whilst your nephew isn't "bonding" as such, the staff will make time for him to give him cuddles.

 

[LeahLou]

You are a saint. That sweet baby is getting a great family!

 

[Qmama79]

So sorry to hear your story. It must be hard for your family. Maybe ask social worker to add you so you can liaise with nurses. Good luck! X you are great for making space fr the little wonder to join yr family. I hope your sister gets herself sorted.