Adoption Reform

[Lellow]

Morning

I was reading about the new adoption reform and i was really shocked to learn that there are well over 65,000 children in care in the UK, yet last yr oly 60 children throughout the UK were adopted...

They reckon it takes on average 2 years and 7 months to adopt.

This new reform is apparently meant to get the number of adoptions up and to make the process less lengthy.

Im really shocked at those statistcs

Did anyone else catch up on it?

 

[EllaAndLyla]

I did hear about it, I do think they need to speed the process up though, 2 years and 7 months is a LONG time especially for a child x

 

[Abz1982]

That definitely is such a long time! I would like another child, but I can honestly say I would prefer to adopt rather than have another, but there is just no way we would be allowed to, despite having done a fab job with Emma so far!

 

[Rhi_Rhi1]

the whole thing is fairly invasive aswell isn't it ? i understand being thorough.. but i have heard some horrible stories x

 

[twinkle1975]

I'd love us to adopt a child but according to the guidelines I'm too fat to.

 

[Lief]

I'd love us to adopt a child but according to the guidelines I'm too fat to.

 

[Lellow]

I'd love us to adopt a child but according to the guidelines I'm too fat to.

Really?

 

[twinkle1975]

I'd love us to adopt a child but according to the guidelines I'm too fat to.

Yep. I do weigh 17 and a half stones, which I know is not healthy. However I have a full time job - working with children, I go hiking, I did the Great Manchester Run a few years ago. It's not as if I'm bed-bound! My friend weighs the same as me & had a baby - no one questioned whether she was too fat to look after her child.

ETA - not wanting to start a debate about this - sure there's people out there that agree with the guidelines but please don't tell me if you do - it'll only make me cry!

 

[AppleBlossom]

My auntie and uncle are going through the adoption process. It seems fairly tedious and invasive. They had to pass a medical and then attend three workshops and now they have regular visits from a social worker who asks them odd things like "Do you like your name?" I think they're hoping to be able to start the actual adoption process in the New Year, the whole 'picking' a child (well they're hoping to find more than one, possibly siblings) and then introducing them very slowly. It's a shame really because there are so many people who would be willing to adopt but the guidelines are so strict that many can't and so thousands of children end up growing up in care. Then again, I suppose they can't give kids away to just anyone.

 

[tallybee]

So sad Of course people should be vetted thoroughly, but the system needs a real shake-up IMO.

 

[Rhi_Rhi1]

I'd love us to adopt a child but according to the guidelines I'm too fat to.

Yep. I do weigh 17 and a half stones, which I know is not healthy. However I have a full time job - working with children, I go hiking, I did the Great Manchester Run a few years ago. It's not as if I'm bed-bound! My friend weighs the same as me & had a baby - no one questioned whether she was too fat to look after her child.

ETA - not wanting to start a debate about this - sure there's people out there that agree with the guidelines but please don't tell me if you do - it'll only make me cry!

 

[tina3747]

The criterea for people wanting to adopt is ridiculous. Overweight people,smokers,people considered too old, not married... There seems to be alot of outdated views of who make 'good parents' . There's kids stuck in foster home after foster home that would be snapped up by parents who may be a little overweight?! How stupid.

I agree there still needs to be a rigorous vetting system but the guidelines of who can adopt in the first place seriously needs to be looked at.

My friend has a little boy she adopted 2 yrs ago.He has feotal alcohol syndrom, very low on the spectrum but enough to keep him behind. It's very sad but the majority of cases nowadays will have physical or mental problems through children being taken into care rather than in the 50s/60s where people gave them up from stigma or financial problems.
Seems children are comodities these days, with unfit parents that hold on to them when clearly not wanted just to claim from the benifit system. So sad. This friend went through 18 months of study within an adoption agency only to be told no because she hadn't completly weaned herself off anti depressants, even a letter from the doctor saying she was only on them for a 6 months because of the strain of 10 yrs of ivf, a miscarriage and her mum died. They were so desperate for a child. Fortunatly they had the strength to start again and now have Ryan!!
I also know of our friends sitution, they've been turned down because they are devout Christians and have truthfully said they will bring the children up within the church. They are the most deserving parents ever, it makes me so sad there's a child who'd have the most amazing life with such loving people but are seen to be better stuck in a care home rather than be bought up with a belief in god.
Then there's stupid vile women out there getting pregnant at the drop of a hat, abusing children or letting their partners abuse. No vetting system for them.

 

[DanielleM]

The criterea for people wanting to adopt is ridiculous. Overweight people,smokers,people considered too old, not married... There seems to be alot of outdated views of who make 'good parents' . There's kids stuck in foster home after foster home that would be snapped up by parents who may be a little overweight?! How stupid.

I agree there still needs to be a rigorous vetting system but the guidelines of who can adopt in the first place seriously needs to be looked at.

My friend has a little boy she adopted 2 yrs ago.He has feotal alcohol syndrom, very low on the spectrum but enough to keep him behind. It's very sad but the majority of cases nowadays will have physical or mental problems through children being taken into care rather than in the 50s/60s where people gave them up from stigma or financial problems.
Seems children are comodities these days, with unfit parents that hold on to them when clearly not wanted just to claim from the benifit system. So sad. This friend went through 18 months of study within an adoption agency only to be told no because she hadn't completly weaned herself off anti depressants, even a letter from the doctor saying she was only on them for a 6 months because of the strain of 10 yrs of ivf, a miscarriage and her mum died. They were so desperate for a child. Fortunatly they had the strength to start again and now have Ryan!!
I also know of our friends sitution, they've been turned down because they are devout Christians and have truthfully said they will bring the children up within the church. They are the most deserving parents ever, it makes me so sad there's a child who'd have the most amazing life with such loving people but are seen to be better stuck in a care home rather than be bought up with a belief in god.
Then there's stupid vile women out there getting pregnant at the drop of a hat, abusing children or letting their partners abuse. No vetting system for them.

So true. I'm happy your friend has had a happy ending. Twinkle1975 I can't believe you can't adopt for being overweight, that is rediculous!! xx

 

[Eternal]

I have a friend who was turned down to be able to adopt, it took years for her to get to that point and loads of referances, interviews, forms, visits, etc, and in the end they said no. Said it was because she had had an abusive childhood (not sure the ins and outs but think mother was a bit rough) and because she had a postive outlook from it they said she had hidden issues.

 

[Eternal]

i applied for fostering before i had my son, and one agency turned me down as i was a christian and had had depression, fortunitly the others accepted me, but then i got pregnant and you can foster with a new baby so thats on the back burner until im older.

 

[CuddleBunny]

I'd love us to adopt a child but according to the guidelines I'm too fat to.

Yep. I do weigh 17 and a half stones, which I know is not healthy. However I have a full time job - working with children, I go hiking, I did the Great Manchester Run a few years ago. It's not as if I'm bed-bound! My friend weighs the same as me & had a baby - no one questioned whether she was too fat to look after her child.

ETA - not wanting to start a debate about this - sure there's people out there that agree with the guidelines but please don't tell me if you do - it'll only make me cry!

That is just ridiculous

 

[LoraLoo]

Morning

I was reading about the new adoption reform and i was really shocked to learn that there are well over 65,000 children in care in the UK, yet last yr oly 60 children throughout the UK were adopted...

They reckon it takes on average 2 years and 7 months to adopt.

This new reform is apparently meant to get the number of adoptions up and to make the process less lengthy.

Im really shocked at those statistcs

Did anyone else catch up on it?

60??!! Is that correct? Just....wow x

 

[Lellow]

Morning

I was reading about the new adoption reform and i was really shocked to learn that there are well over 65,000 children in care in the UK, yet last yr oly 60 children throughout the UK were adopted...

They reckon it takes on average 2 years and 7 months to adopt.

This new reform is apparently meant to get the number of adoptions up and to make the process less lengthy.

Im really shocked at those statistcs

Did anyone else catch up on it?

60??!! Is that correct? Just....wow x

Ye 60...that is all...so sad really in the grand scheme of things.

 

[Celesse]

https://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2011/sep/29/60-babies-adopted-england-last-year

3050 children adopted last year of whom 60 were babies.
65,520 children in care.

A lot of children in care are returned to thier birth family when problems resolve, or are placed with extended family members. Some are too old to be adopted and are better placed in a long term foster placement- you don't get many children over 10 being adopted. Some children in the looked after system are mothers themselves and are placed with thier babies.

One of the reasons that there are so few babies adopted is that most children in the looked after system come in after something has gone wrong in the family, so generally that doesn't happen straight away. And mum doesn't want to give them up, so social services need to assess her and the family and offer support to see if things can change. This takes time, you can't change your life over night, espcially when things have got so bad that social services have got involved. Once all the assessments have been completed and its clear that mum can't have the baby back, then they have to assess wider family members who want to care for the baby and go through the legal process and then find a placement. The whole thing just takes so long that most babies who are taken into foster placements are not babies when its time to go to thier forever home.

I would guess that those 60 babies that have been adopted come from homes where mum has already had children removed from her care, had all her assessments done, hasn't changed her life, so social services can get straight to the court process.

To get children adopted faster they need to complete assessments quicker, and get cases through the courts quicker.

 

[pinky1987]

This is so sad! Id love to adopt when im older, Im only 24 and have my own 2 but to think that there is some young children out there that are just basically wanting to be loved and have a stable home makes me want to cry! I wouldnt match hardly any of their criteria anyway, im not married, i dont own my own house (rented) etc...

Id loved to do some work within children care homes but dont have a clue where to start, I dont have any qualicfications in social care etc, just life experience with my own 2 children, but I know they only look at qualifications though! I am currently doing an understanding children introduction course with the OU.

And as for being too overweight to adopt!!!! that is MADNESS!!!!!!