Advice about a daycare situation

I'd also question a baby falling asleep every time it's rocked. To me that sounds like somethings wrong with baby (not meaning to sound alarmist) . Does her breathing change or anything?

No breathing changes, it seems fairly normal to me. She's a pretty cuddly, laid back baby and something about the rocking just has her eyes closing. I used to have this problem when she was a really little baby that my DH didn't know what to do with her except sit and rock her. So he was always putting her to sleep! I would say "ok, I'm putting DS to bed, play with her for a bit and then I'll come nurse her. But don't put her to sleep because I want to nurse her first". Next thing I know, she's sound asleep on DH.

To me it just seems like she's really easy to get to sleep. She's so active during the day though that she doesn't just fall asleep on us or anything like that.
 
Maybe it's the car ride there that makes her tired? You said rocking motions make her sleepy so maybe that's why she wants to nap so quickly after arriving at school
 
Honestly I would just let her sleep if she wants to sleep. It is so important for babies to sleep when they need to, it's when they do all their growing and it gives them a break from all the stimulation and learning they are doing. Being at daycare, where the sounds/smells/lights and everything is different is already really stimulating for her and she may just need to nap more to deal with it. If it isn't affecting her nighttime sleep, which is likely won't unless she's sleeping 8 hours a day, then there shouldn't be a problem. A routine is good but she may need 2 different routines, one for days at home and one for daycare. I would follow her lead.
 
Thanks so much for the advice everyone. And I am totally fine with my baby girl sleeping if that is what SHE needs! However, if she's sleeping because her teachers are putting her to sleep when she doesn't need it, that will upset me. I just need to find out if her sleeping like that is truly what she needs.

I actually texted her teachers to ask if she is really fussy during the day, cause I was thinking it was causing her to be so tired and I got a good response. This is what one of her teachers said:
Generally she seems to do well in the activity center & yesterday, after her nap, she liked playing with the other babies & toys on the floor with Ashley & me during circle time.
She's always such a doll. And she's usually pretty easy to read. We have always just taken our cues from Charlee, rocking her when she's fussy & rubbing her eyes . The other babies in our room around her age still take 2 naps during school, a morning & an afternoon nap. And she's seemed to do that naturally too, most of the time.
She did have a harder day than usual yesterday. But we totally want to do what you want us to with your sweet girl.
So we'll continue to communicate & figure out what works best for Charlee!

They were sweet and honestly sounds like they are doing what I would do, so I'm just going to play it by ear from now on.
 
I'm just curious, what makes you think your baby wouldn't need sleep when she falls asleep sometimes? I've always thought that if a baby will fall asleep they must be somewhat tired.
 
I'm just curious, what makes you think your baby wouldn't need sleep when she falls asleep sometimes? I've always thought that if a baby will fall asleep they must be somewhat tired.


This

I've always assumed that if a baby fell asleep, it's because they want/need to sleep.
 
To be honest if I was the one watching your little girl I'd probably he a bit irritated with the constant interfering. Sounds like you want so much control and that you do not trust them.I know you will now tell me you DO trust them but do you not see how you must be perceived by these people?

I am a SAHM because I do not (right now) believe I'd trust someone to be able to care for my lo and it would be unfair on nursery staff to take him as i would also be constantly questioning them but when someone else is looking after your child be it nursery staff, family or even your OH they're not going to do it like you do, everyone has different strategies.

Every friend I have that has a child in nursery was not happy at the start because their children were either napping more or less, they eventually accepted this was due to different people or routines or whatver. I think if you're having a hard time letting go then nursery might not be right for you right now.
 
My kids routines at home and daycare are total opposites. They have a lot more stimulation at daycare. In my house, my kids get up earlier? Do you guys sleep in (don't wake to an alarm) on your days off? The extra wake up might be ready. My Lb (almost 11 months) just dropped himself down to one nap. I typically let him figure out when he wants to nap so not much help in that area.
 
To be honest if I was the one watching your little girl I'd probably he a bit irritated with the constant interfering. Sounds like you want so much control and that you do not trust them.I know you will now tell me you DO trust them but do you not see how you must be perceived by these people?

I am a SAHM because I do not (right now) believe I'd trust someone to be able to care for my lo and it would be unfair on nursery staff to take him as i would also be constantly questioning them but when someone else is looking after your child be it nursery staff, family or even your OH they're not going to do it like you do, everyone has different strategies.

Every friend I have that has a child in nursery was not happy at the start because their children were either napping more or less, they eventually accepted this was due to different people or routines or whatver. I think if you're having a hard time letting go then nursery might not be right for you right now.

Like I said previously, the interference was for ONE day. Up until this ONE day last week, we had a pretty good routine where they would do whatever for my DD based on her cues, unless I needed to nurse and they would come get me. Occasionally I would go get her on my lunch break just to hang out with her a bit, if she was awake and they always appreciated it because they have their hands full.

Then, I started worrying she was sleeping too much at school. I didn't mention it to them though. It had been 5 months since she started school and she was sleeping the same amount at 9.5 months old as she was at 4 months old. Then, I did gradual withdrawal sleep training with her at home and decided to give her teachers a schedule at school so she would be sleeping like she was at home. Once again, last Friday was the FIRST time this has ever happened and yes, it was a lot of interfering for that one day. Which is why I came to BNB, because I didn't like it and just wanted to make sure my DD was getting what she needs.

Anyway, thanks for all the advice to everyone but I feel like I'm being misunderstood right and left and I think I'll either delete this thread or stop responding. I've spend 90% of my time defending myself, when all I want is to know whether my DD is sleeping because she truly needs it (which is fine) or because her teachers are so busy that it's easier to have a baby sleeping (which isn't fine) and I wanted to hear other experiences. It was very helpful to learn that many people's LOs are sleeping a lot at school too, because of overstimulation, etc. I've been in the toddler section for so long that I've forgotten how brutal baby club can be. I obviously didn't explain my situation very well but it's full of details so I can see how it can be so easily confused. :flow:
 
I think you just wanted a good rant rather than input on the situation. You've not taken any advice on board. Fair enough but I wish people would put in the OP that they're having a rant and want a bit of sympathy and advice is not welcome.
 
To be honest if I was the one watching your little girl I'd probably he a bit irritated with the constant interfering. Sounds like you want so much control and that you do not trust them.I know you will now tell me you DO trust them but do you not see how you must be perceived by these people?

I am a SAHM because I do not (right now) believe I'd trust someone to be able to care for my lo and it would be unfair on nursery staff to take him as i would also be constantly questioning them but when someone else is looking after your child be it nursery staff, family or even your OH they're not going to do it like you do, everyone has different strategies.

Every friend I have that has a child in nursery was not happy at the start because their children were either napping more or less, they eventually accepted this was due to different people or routines or whatver. I think if you're having a hard time letting go then nursery might not be right for you right now.

Like I said previously, the interference was for ONE day. Up until this ONE day last week, we had a pretty good routine where they would do whatever for my DD based on her cues, unless I needed to nurse and they would come get me. Occasionally I would go get her on my lunch break just to hang out with her a bit, if she was awake and they always appreciated it because they have their hands full.

Then, I started worrying she was sleeping too much at school. I didn't mention it to them though. It had been 5 months since she started school and she was sleeping the same amount at 9.5 months old as she was at 4 months old. Then, I did gradual withdrawal sleep training with her at home and decided to give her teachers a schedule at school so she would be sleeping like she was at home. Once again, last Friday was the FIRST time this has ever happened and yes, it was a lot of interfering for that one day. Which is why I came to BNB, because I didn't like it and just wanted to make sure my DD was getting what she needs.

Anyway, thanks for all the advice to everyone but I feel like I'm being misunderstood right and left and I think I'll either delete this thread or stop responding. I've spend 90% of my time defending myself, when all I want is to know whether my DD is sleeping because she truly needs it (which is fine) or because her teachers are so busy that it's easier to have a baby sleeping (which isn't fine) and I wanted to hear other experiences. It was very helpful to learn that many people's LOs are sleeping a lot at school too, because of overstimulation, etc. I've been in the toddler section for so long that I've forgotten how brutal baby club can be. I obviously didn't explain my situation very well but it's full of details so I can see how it can be so easily confused. :flow:

Not sure what the ratio is, but maybe it's both. I'd talk to lo's teachers about your concerns again when you see them. It sounds like they care very much about their lo's and it sounds like they would be receptive if you bring this up again. I'd be upfront and ask them. If they are indeed too busy to care for your baby and really just want her or let her sleep because it's easier, then I'd find another daycare. Hope everything works out.
 
I think you just wanted a good rant rather than input on the situation. You've not taken any advice on board. Fair enough but I wish people would put in the OP that they're having a rant and want a bit of sympathy and advice is not welcome.

I honestly feel like you aren't really reading my posts. Not a rant, well maybe a bit. But I've gotten a lot of good advice about other people's experiences with their LOs actually needing the sleep more at daycare and I know where to go from here. I'm going to really keep an eye on how sleep she is getting at school but I'll also go back to letting them use her cues. Advice saying "she wouldn't sleep unless she was tired" isn't advice I could "follow" because she does sleep easily.

Anyway, please post helpful comments. I mean that as nicely as possible. Its hard to ignore and not defend myself even though I said I was going to. Especially when my posts are misconstrued, like saying I'm a control freak about her daycare. That's actually hilarious to me because I'm not at all. I actually normally feel guilty about how little info I give them "when do you think she will want to nurse?" "Uhhh....when she acts hungry?" I just don't watch the clock at home. Last week is the first time I tried to ever give them any kind of schedule and it wasn't good, but with 2 babies who don't sttn, I'm trying to see what "works" during the day to make my nights better.
 
To be honest if I was the one watching your little girl I'd probably he a bit irritated with the constant interfering. Sounds like you want so much control and that you do not trust them.I know you will now tell me you DO trust them but do you not see how you must be perceived by these people?

I am a SAHM because I do not (right now) believe I'd trust someone to be able to care for my lo and it would be unfair on nursery staff to take him as i would also be constantly questioning them but when someone else is looking after your child be it nursery staff, family or even your OH they're not going to do it like you do, everyone has different strategies.

Every friend I have that has a child in nursery was not happy at the start because their children were either napping more or less, they eventually accepted this was due to different people or routines or whatver. I think if you're having a hard time letting go then nursery might not be right for you right now.

Like I said previously, the interference was for ONE day. Up until this ONE day last week, we had a pretty good routine where they would do whatever for my DD based on her cues, unless I needed to nurse and they would come get me. Occasionally I would go get her on my lunch break just to hang out with her a bit, if she was awake and they always appreciated it because they have their hands full.

Then, I started worrying she was sleeping too much at school. I didn't mention it to them though. It had been 5 months since she started school and she was sleeping the same amount at 9.5 months old as she was at 4 months old. Then, I did gradual withdrawal sleep training with her at home and decided to give her teachers a schedule at school so she would be sleeping like she was at home. Once again, last Friday was the FIRST time this has ever happened and yes, it was a lot of interfering for that one day. Which is why I came to BNB, because I didn't like it and just wanted to make sure my DD was getting what she needs.

Anyway, thanks for all the advice to everyone but I feel like I'm being misunderstood right and left and I think I'll either delete this thread or stop responding. I've spend 90% of my time defending myself, when all I want is to know whether my DD is sleeping because she truly needs it (which is fine) or because her teachers are so busy that it's easier to have a baby sleeping (which isn't fine) and I wanted to hear other experiences. It was very helpful to learn that many people's LOs are sleeping a lot at school too, because of overstimulation, etc. I've been in the toddler section for so long that I've forgotten how brutal baby club can be. I obviously didn't explain my situation very well but it's full of details so I can see how it can be so easily confused. :flow:

Not sure what the ratio is, but maybe it's both. I'd talk to lo's teachers about your concerns again when you see them. It sounds like they care very much about their lo's and it sounds like they would be receptive if you bring this up again. I'd be upfront and ask them. If they are indeed too busy to care for your baby and really just want her or let her sleep because it's easier, then I'd find another daycare. Hope everything works out.

Thank you, I am going to let it go for now in case she needs the sleep but bring it up if it gets to ridiculous extremes again. They really are super sweet and I've gotten to know them since I work there too. I love how they are so good about letting me know when she's fussy or having a bad day, I'm definitely lucky to be able to see her a bit throughout the day.
 
Well for what's its worth, I actually do the opposite and try to match my schedule to the school's when possible. I also agree that it's different at home and school and I think it's due to the stimulation from others/different sights/people/babies and all that going on and it's not going on at home if that makes sense? I've always told them to try to just stick with baby cues and then around 14 months prior to him going to the 1st level toddler room (16 months) we reduced the twice a day naps to one as that room tries to keep more on a structured schedule as a group for feeding and naps.

I think that generally speaking, the teachers probably try to follow the cues of the baby - I mean it's not like they can force babies to sleep if they don't want and your lo is still young and probably needs to extra sleep. So if it's not causing any undue burden, then I would think it's okay to have different schedules. We still do. It's closer to each other now, but he generally starts his nap a bit later at home and longer. But on weekends he also goes to bed a bit later. I don't sweat it if it works for everyone. Basically - I work with the staff to ensure that he's not a cranky lo all day and ask if there are things that I can do at home to help with their schedule at school as he's there everyday.
 

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