To be honest if I was the one watching your little girl I'd probably he a bit irritated with the constant interfering. Sounds like you want so much control and that you do not trust them.I know you will now tell me you DO trust them but do you not see how you must be perceived by these people?
I am a SAHM because I do not (right now) believe I'd trust someone to be able to care for my lo and it would be unfair on nursery staff to take him as i would also be constantly questioning them but when someone else is looking after your child be it nursery staff, family or even your OH they're not going to do it like you do, everyone has different strategies.
Every friend I have that has a child in nursery was not happy at the start because their children were either napping more or less, they eventually accepted this was due to different people or routines or whatver. I think if you're having a hard time letting go then nursery might not be right for you right now.
Like I said previously, the interference was for ONE day. Up until this ONE day last week, we had a pretty good routine where they would do whatever for my DD based on her cues, unless I needed to nurse and they would come get me. Occasionally I would go get her on my lunch break just to hang out with her a bit, if she was awake and they always appreciated it because they have their hands full.
Then, I started worrying she was sleeping too much at school. I didn't mention it to them though. It had been 5 months since she started school and she was sleeping the same amount at 9.5 months old as she was at 4 months old. Then, I did gradual withdrawal sleep training with her at home and decided to give her teachers a schedule at school so she would be sleeping like she was at home. Once again, last Friday was the FIRST time this has ever happened and yes, it was a lot of interfering for that one day. Which is why I came to BNB, because I didn't like it and just wanted to make sure my DD was getting what she needs.
Anyway, thanks for all the advice to everyone but I feel like I'm being misunderstood right and left and I think I'll either delete this thread or stop responding.
I've spend 90% of my time defending myself, when all I want is to know whether my DD is sleeping because she truly needs it (which is fine) or because her teachers are so busy that it's easier to have a baby sleeping (which isn't fine) and I wanted to hear other experiences. It was very helpful to learn that many people's LOs are sleeping a lot at school too, because of overstimulation, etc. I've been in the toddler section for so long that I've forgotten how brutal baby club can be. I obviously didn't explain my situation very well but it's full of details so I can see how it can be so easily confused.