croydongirl
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I have a very close friend who has one daughter 18mths old. She is a sweet little girl, but as an only child to older parents who married later she is a little spoiled and getting more so as she finds her voice!
My friend has decided she wants another child, her husband is going along with it but she says hes not totally convinced that she will cope with taking care of 2. I think some of her determination came from wanting to prove him wrong, but she is a very dramatic person and every day of her last pregnancy was a big drama.
So now she is symptom spotting with me. I wake up every day to an email or face book chat, yesterday she sent a msg that she was disgusted at the thought of cooking chicken, and when i asked more she said it was another symptom she hadn't told me but her and her husband had had unsafe sex one time in her fertile period so she was sure she was pregnant.
Thinking she was pregnant put me in a tail spin, she never once asked anything about how I was feeling, or if I wanted to hear all this. I was so upset. I have had 4 m/c in the past year, and she knows this. Then she sent an email later saying she was sure she was getting her period instead, and right before i went to bed i saw she sent one saying the symptoms of period had gone and now she was sure (again) that she was pregnant, she told me she wasn't going to test for a few days though but she would keep me posted.
I feel like I am on a roller coaster with her, and I just don't have it in me. Of course when she has another baby I will be happy for her, but I will also be sad for me.
I just cannot go on her symptom spotting journey, I have too much of that with my own journey, and she doesn't want to support me, just compare to herself.
I need to talk to her and explain some of how I am feeling but I am not sure how to do it without being mean, of having her feel like I don't care. Maybe I am just being selfish?
I think I am hesitating because I feel like a part of her (a tiny part) is bragging about her symptoms because she is jealous of me. We both got married later in life to wonderful men but our lives are very different. She has alot of family drama and responsibility for her mom and sister which is a financial burden, and even though they have a lot of money I know it's hard on her emotionally. She wants to be at home full time but has to work some nursing shifts to keep the family's insurance and stuff. She is very overweight and has a hard time with that. I am a student and home maker, I get to cook and do lots of fun things in my day and my hubby and i spend lots of time on dates and travelling together, and she doesn't ever leave her child.
Her and her husband have been on 3 dates without their daughter in the past year and a half, and she still wakes at night multiple times after not going to bed until 10.30pm so they have no time together as a couple. My friend is always making comments to us about how it will be the same for us when we have kids, we'll never have time together.
I know she is unsatisfied in her family life right now, and so I am trying to be sensitive but her comments and her throwing this new possible pregnancy in my face seem a little mean.
I consider her a friend and want to talk to her about how I feel but I am not sure how to approach it because she is in such a sensitive place too. I am just dreading the message in my box today saying she is pregnant, I am aware that some of my feelings are jealousy too but also I'm so sad. I want to look forward to sharing my friends joy but I am just not in a place to do it yet.
Sorry this is long, just not sure who else would understand.
(also on ttc)
My friend has decided she wants another child, her husband is going along with it but she says hes not totally convinced that she will cope with taking care of 2. I think some of her determination came from wanting to prove him wrong, but she is a very dramatic person and every day of her last pregnancy was a big drama.
So now she is symptom spotting with me. I wake up every day to an email or face book chat, yesterday she sent a msg that she was disgusted at the thought of cooking chicken, and when i asked more she said it was another symptom she hadn't told me but her and her husband had had unsafe sex one time in her fertile period so she was sure she was pregnant.
Thinking she was pregnant put me in a tail spin, she never once asked anything about how I was feeling, or if I wanted to hear all this. I was so upset. I have had 4 m/c in the past year, and she knows this. Then she sent an email later saying she was sure she was getting her period instead, and right before i went to bed i saw she sent one saying the symptoms of period had gone and now she was sure (again) that she was pregnant, she told me she wasn't going to test for a few days though but she would keep me posted.
I feel like I am on a roller coaster with her, and I just don't have it in me. Of course when she has another baby I will be happy for her, but I will also be sad for me.
I just cannot go on her symptom spotting journey, I have too much of that with my own journey, and she doesn't want to support me, just compare to herself.
I need to talk to her and explain some of how I am feeling but I am not sure how to do it without being mean, of having her feel like I don't care. Maybe I am just being selfish?
I think I am hesitating because I feel like a part of her (a tiny part) is bragging about her symptoms because she is jealous of me. We both got married later in life to wonderful men but our lives are very different. She has alot of family drama and responsibility for her mom and sister which is a financial burden, and even though they have a lot of money I know it's hard on her emotionally. She wants to be at home full time but has to work some nursing shifts to keep the family's insurance and stuff. She is very overweight and has a hard time with that. I am a student and home maker, I get to cook and do lots of fun things in my day and my hubby and i spend lots of time on dates and travelling together, and she doesn't ever leave her child.
Her and her husband have been on 3 dates without their daughter in the past year and a half, and she still wakes at night multiple times after not going to bed until 10.30pm so they have no time together as a couple. My friend is always making comments to us about how it will be the same for us when we have kids, we'll never have time together.
I know she is unsatisfied in her family life right now, and so I am trying to be sensitive but her comments and her throwing this new possible pregnancy in my face seem a little mean.
I consider her a friend and want to talk to her about how I feel but I am not sure how to approach it because she is in such a sensitive place too. I am just dreading the message in my box today saying she is pregnant, I am aware that some of my feelings are jealousy too but also I'm so sad. I want to look forward to sharing my friends joy but I am just not in a place to do it yet.
Sorry this is long, just not sure who else would understand.
(also on ttc)
