advice needed desperately (inc ranting!)

[LTEx]

Hiya everyone, i'm new to this so i do apologise if i'm not in the correct section :]

Desperately seeking help/advice from anyone who has been in a similar situation as this please as not sure whiich way to turn :[

Cut a long story short, me & my sons father have never gotten on since our son was born. Had alot of hassle from him during the pregnancy eg. Saying the baby wasnt his, i'd given him an sti, i was gonna be a useless mam which none of is true! Been going on now for the past 3 years (inc pregnancy, my child is 2 & a half) & recently i'm at myy wits end with him. He sees his son once a week for 4-6 hours yet never picks him up on time (always atleast 30-45 mins late sometimes later!) & without fail brrings him back an hour later then i originally asked for. He pays £80 a month in cash & he has just recently decided he will only paass the money over if i leave mmy signature on a piece of paper. Now i understand he has to cover his back incase he has to show where moneys going as he's self employed but he has only recently suggested this (conveniently straight after our most recent argument). What i've mentioned is just a few of the things he does to try & aggrivate me.. Alot of other things have gone off but nothing ever dangerous where i stopped contact instantly. It seems as though everything he does, he does it to show he makes thee rules.

Which brings me onto my main question.. Has anyone ever made up a contract themselves with set rules eg times to bring child home/pick up, ways of contacting eachother stuff like that? How else can i get my sons dad to stop playing games without taking legal action? Or is legal action the only way to go & will i even have a leg to stand on? Please help i cant take much more of this

 

[dustbunny]

Legally is the only option by where he has to stick to the rules. The minute he starts messing with the rules and knows he can get away with it, a tiny bit of power becomes his. It might be a case of once he knows he can get away with something, what stops him getting away with someone else. Arriving late should mean he has lost some of his time and should not mean he can bring LO back an hour later because he was late... obviously there is no burning reason aside from him being a petty game player.

Best way would be to set up a legally binding contract.

 

[Laura2919]

You can have something unofficially drawn up but to be honest it doesn't count for anything, its really just a paper saying you are doing this for your son.

FOB pays me without fail each month, its one thing I don't ever have to moan about with him. I would maybe suggest if he wants to do it official then go to CSA. If not then signing that little bit of paper doesn't affect anything.

As for times and him being late and dropping him off late I would just say look if your not going to stick to the proper times then I will seek legal advice to have it down in writing.

 

[LTEx]

I haven't got a problem with signing a piece of paper but i'm not actually putting my signature on there i'll just leave my initials. & he says i cant go through CSA cos he's classed as unemployed, living with his mam etc yet lives on his own & works cash in hand 18 hours a day (well he says thats the hours he does) he's not allowed to contact me anymore he now has to go through a family member & they're gonna make it clear to him today the rules, i guess if he breaks them again thats when i'll have to take things further its a shame when there's all these games being played when there's a kid involved

 

[LTEx]

& shock horror he's not having him today! Text 5 minutes before he was due to pick him up & said he 'forgot' his car was in the garage grrrrr! So we're gonna sort it tomorrow instead