Hi MumDreamz!
After a loss in 2013, and my cycles became spotty--and we haven't used a lick of BC since 2007, but we still wondered why we weren't conceiving...our first two, we had no issues (thankfully---and I don't say that as a put down to any soon-to-be moms who had a struggle, promise!)
So, we agreed for both of us to be tested, just so we can know what we're dealing with. Btw, I'm 41 and DH is 42--& we didn't just want to assume it's our "advanced ages" since many in their 40s are conceiving and having healthy pregnancies and babies.
Ok--to
finally answer your question, lol:
For me: I had a vaginal ultrasound to check my ovaries, uterus and overall situation. What sucked was I had to drink a lot of water and go on a full stomach--when I asked why (because the u/s wand is NOT comfy to begin with--and especially a drag with a full bladder) the technician said the full bladder helps the uterus 'unfold' itself (for lack of a better word) and she can see things more clearly. I learn something new everyday
. I also had bloodwork done--basically a regular physical, which I haven't had in years anyway, so it was done now. Results came back good to go.
DH was all on board with finding out what's going on...that being said, he did say it was his love for me and our family that had him go and get his swimmers tested...he was
deeply embarrassed about (let me be frank) going in and masturbating and then handing his 'stuff' to a complete stranger, who knew what he was doing and why...call him a "prude", but I can see his point...but he went and did it anyways. I went with him as support--and the ultra crappy part was he said he was led into a sterile room with a couch and that was IT. He wasn't expecting a 'sensual' environment, but he did say it took him longer for him to do what needed to be done in a room that made him think of a mental ward room from a tv show.
Results came back: his swimmers are low to nil. He had been sick right after our DD was born (long story) and we honestly had started TTCing when she was 18 months old...she's now 6, and we were like "what's going on...?" So, now we know.
We had ruled out having another, until I recently read online other mamas whose men had the same problem, but with herbal supplements on the market, they were able to conceive...so we both are literally just now starting that route. We are very happy with our 2, but still feel like there is someone missing in our family, and thought to try again.
I hope that helps...knowing what you're dealing with will actually be great--that way you both know what your options are and how you can 'plan your attack' and get your
!
Best wishes and BIG hugs!!!!
We waited so long because DH refuses to believe there's anything wrong with either of us and he wants to be natural. 
