Advice on in-laws??

[aimee93]

So basically me and my partner are having a baby.. ill be 20 years old when i give birth and he will be 2 months of 21. We have been together since we were 16 we have our own house and are engaged. My in laws absolutely hate me and have told me many times they want nothing to do with me. As soon as i found out we were expecting a little one i was dreading them finding out..

well now they know and they were furious still hate me and want nothing to do with me. i feel so sorry for my fiance as hes in the middle of it all and they are acting so childish, they are like this with me because they think im not good enough for him and i have taken there 'little boy' from them..

do you guys think i should just ignore them on get on with our lives coz we are very happy together without them. But my partner would like his parents and grandparents aunties etc to be involved but they all want nothing to do with me.. ive tried to make an effort and speak to them for sake of the baby but they either give me grief, ignore me or fling it back in my face..

i give up now, i just dont know what to do.. in my eyes they dont deserve to see little one.. we have been together nearly 4 years ive never been bad to him or any of them i dont see there problem, they have hated me from the start..

advice??

 

[mummytokeelie]

i would tell them to stick it lol they dont deserve to see the baby i see it that its a privileged to be a grandparent not a right! i think you still need to be civil and make some sort of effort for your bf sake but i wouldnt go out of my way, i think if they cant be polite to you then they dont have a right to see the baby, your bf obviously loves you wants to be with you and if your both happy sod them why should you have to make the effort xx

 

[JessicaM123]

yep agree with above, its a privilege. Their loss.

Just get on with yours and OH life. If they want to see baby they have to make the effort not you. Don't be too blunt but let your fiancee know how you feel about it, and also maybe ask him how he feels? Don't stop them from seeing the baby though, still be civil. You never know they may eventually come round.

 

[aimee93]

thanks for your reply!

i totally agree, i mean im not going to be all nasty and use our baby as a pwer over them but it just makes me sad that they dont even care or bother with me or my unborn baby.

my nana has recently passed away a couple of weeks ago (my dads mother) and she was an amazing grandparent and got on so so well ith her daughter in law (my mam) and i just feel like im missing out on that because these people are so spiteful and only think of themselves xx

 

[aimee93]

thanks for the reply..

yes im hoping when the baby is here that they realise what they have, i am there only chance of having a grandchild as my fiance only has one other sibling a sister who is disabled xx

 

[AP]

I would politely put it to them that you and the baby come as a package, and if they can't respect you now then they won't respect you as a parent. Be careful Hun x

 

[aimee93]

thanks for your reply

i have decided that i will politely tell them we come as a package if they decide to still have nothing to do with me then they are the ones losing out on ours babys life. i'll just let them get on with ignoring me now as i dont see why i should make the effort..

although i have no reason to apologise, i have been the bugger person and apologised to every family member for whatever i have ment to have done for them to be like this with me and they have just flung it in my face, apology wasnt good enough and not accepted.

So i give up, i tired, nothing else i can do now.

thanks for the advice everyone xx

 

[bsd]

I completely agree with your decision that's what I would do! Babies and mamas come as a package
What the heck is wrong with those people!? they seriously sound so judgmental towards you! Once people get an idea in their head about a person and refuse to change it, thats just ignorance. Unless they have a REALLY good reasoning for their feelings but from the sounds of it they don't at all!
In laws.... *sigh* why must we have to deal with people like this? haha