Advice on life please? I'm going crazy!

[Periwinkle58]

I don't have anyone to talk to and give me no biased advice so I thought I'd join here, so hi everyone!

When I was 20 I went to donate my eggs. After the tests they told me I was not eligible due to an AMH of 0.60. I was told it'd be extremely hard for me to conceive and that I would have to try asap. Being so young I kinda just convinced myself I would never have kids and have planned my life as such so I wouldn't be disappointed in the future.

Well I am now 25, and after not taking birth control for a couple months, I ended up pregnant. I'm now 9 weeks and everything is perfect. Have heard the heartbeat and everything. My problem is with my life. I'm a full-time student who had just recently quit my job in order to find a better one. I've been with my bf for 8months (he is 40yo). Now, I have to pay for half of everything. He doesn't give me any extra. Even unemployed, in school and pregnant he won't even go grocery shopping! I had to ask my mom for money last week to go grocery shopping and he already ate most of the food.

He has a good job makes over 80k yet he NEVER HAS MONEY. I'm literally broke and am freaking out over the fact I'm having a kid with a child who doesn't want to grow up. He's only had 2 girlfriends in his life and it was only for a couple years. While he can be great he also has a horrible temper (today we got in a fight and he went to sleep in another room because I politely asked for him to lower the tv volume cuz I had a headache). Oh and I got yelled at and that I was "always acting like his mother".

I don't know what to do. I'm way more responsible than him even though he's much older and if I try to talk to him about anything I just get screamed at. I feel SO stuck. I need to graduate but I don't know how to handle a full time job, a kid, a dog, and school! It's stressing me out SO much. I wish he would help me and at the very least buy food so OUR baby doesn't starve. He's just so selfish, narcissistic and mean.

Any advice whatsoever? I feel like this is a miracle baby so I haven't even considered an alternative but I feel like pulling all my hair out and throwing him off a bridge! We literally fight every single day and even though he said he wants to marry me (even though I'd still have to pay for half of everything) I don't even want to go near him at the moment...

 

[kajastarlight]

First off, congratulations on your miricle baby!! Secondly, it sounds like you know what you want to do but are afraid to do it. It would be easy for me to tell you "just ditch him" or "tell him to either help or get out" but those things may not be right for you. I say, weigh your pro's and con's of staying or leaving. And you know there is help for those who need it. And hang in there. Many many woman find themselves pregnant at "a bad time" (me) but your little blessing will be worth it. Things will work out, you just have to work at it.

 

[Isme]

Move out and move on. Find a way to be on your own... even though I know it's serious struggle. Could you stay with your mom for a bit? Either way, he's shooting himself in the foot. Regardless of how he feels about taking care of you, once your baby arrives he WILL be required to help you maintain him or her financially. He will get that $80,000 a year garnished if he doesn't offer support voluntarily. Try not to worry about how it will all work out. It won't be easy, but you will get through this. Congrats on your miracle baby.