Advice on situation with OH/FOB

[FayDanielle]

I should say, SO CALLED OH!!

Okay ladies, advice needed about the situation im in right now....and loving! But really shouldnt be! Lol.

I had a nap....and woke up and had the urge to go onto my OH/FOB emails....so I did...and there was an email '....sent you a message on Facebook' and I read it.
Now...my OH/FOB is very quick with things like this......usually deletes them right away...so I caught it JUST in time to read it...anyway...these are the messages following from her...Not sure what he said, as the messages from him dont come up.
'I dont remember still, I must have been really quite drunk!! And if I did kiss you, it wouldnt have been cheating'
'What he doesnt know cant hurt him'
'Your my only secret '
'So am I not a secret then? or does your GF know that you speak to me?'
'well we will just have to see what happens wont we '

There hasnt been anymore messages, as I think theyve exchanged numbers. Anyway, Ive been onto her profile, and she has a boyfriend OMMMMMMMM!
Should I message him and tell him about the messages that they were sending? Do I have a right to ...tell him? (I took a photo of the emails, so she cant deny that she was doing it, nor can he)
and also...Im dying to message her!! Should I?!
Btw, Im gonna message the **** (excuse this word, its the only word he can be described as right now) and tell him I know

any advice appreciated girls!!

 

[stephx]

oops just re read it and it makes sense!

confront him and ask him what the hell its all about! that dont sound right at all!

x

 

[Eabha'sMum]

oh he is a naughty naughty boy!!

honestly you probably shouldnt.... but then again, I probably would!!
xx

 

[vinteenage]

Erm, does he know you go on his email account?
I'm sorry, but that's a huge breech of privacy. Just because you're dating does not mean his life is an open book to you.

Now then, about the matter at hand. I would confront him first, in person, and say you saw the messages and would like an explanation for it. Don't bother with the other girl, or her boyfriend, their relationship is not your business, you need to straighten out your own first.

 

[abbSTAR]

OMMMM! I don't know what to say!! ok, maybe you shouldn't snoop through his things.. But OMG! He should never be doing this behind your back that's awful!! Have you tried logging on to his facebook to read what he said back to her? what a complete pr*ck .. Hope everything turns ok sweetie xx

 

[FayDanielle]

Yeah he knows I know his password, he knows all mine, always has and Ive always known all his.

The conversation is just what she said! as I dont see the messages he sent!
x

 

[FayDanielle]

I tried getting onto his facebook, but hes changed the password...I cant do the whole I forgot my password as he has an Iphone and gets notifications of emails on his phone, thats how hes so quick to delete them!
x

 

[vinteenage]

Honestly, if he knows you know his password to his email...he knew you were going to find out eventually.

Dump him.

 

[Sophiiie]

Despite what's right or wrong, if I found those messages I'd message her boyfriend, that's just what I'd personally do. She's not only messing up her own relationship but she's messing in other peoples too. I'd suggest talking to your OH first though just in case (very unlikely though) some sort of incredible explanation that he can come up with x

 

[rjb]

i would tell the boyfriend, just because it seems so unfair to me that people think they are so great that they can treat their spouses like dirt.
but. that's just my emotional opinion.
logically, i think you should end it with your oh.
i think you deserve to be treated much better.

 

[Raspberries]

Sorry to hear this

He sounds like a right twonk to me! I understand respecting eachother's privacy etc, but if you know his password and he knows yours, I don't think there's anything wrong with a quick snoop if you suspected something.

Tbh, from you saying he's quick to delete all emails makes me wonder if he has something else to hide, just cos they can't all be messages off her surely?

But it must be awful to find stuff like that out I'd suggest not telling her boyfriend or her that you know anything, just until you've spoken to your OH, he'll probably try to turn it around and ask why you were snooping etc, but it doesn't matter when you've found messages like that.

Find out what he says then decide your actions from there. xxx

 

[cabaretmum2b]

Definitely confront your OH!
In regards to her - probably due to pregnancy hormones making me bitchy as hell, I'd tell her that you know and that you're going to tell her bf before you tell him - just to get her panicking a bit.
But then, I have turned into a bit of a cow lately!
Do tell your OH though, and tell hers too! He doesn't deserve this any more than you do! And those messages sound so bloody smug, I'd love to see the look on her face when she realises she's been busted.

 

[amylou1992]

Definitely confront your OH!
In regards to her - probably due to pregnancy hormones making me bitchy as hell, I'd tell her that you know and that you're going to tell her bf before you tell him - just to get her panicking a bit.
But then, I have turned into a bit of a cow lately!
Do tell your OH though, and tell hers too! He doesn't deserve this any more than you do! And those messages sound so bloody smug, I'd love to see the look on her face when she realises she's been busted.

that made me laugh the way you worded it

 

[bbyno1]

i would be fuming!
dot know how your staying so calm but to you..its not nice to find anything like that but especially not when your pregnant and you dont feel the greatest in yourself..
i would defiantly speak to him..tell him you need to see him asap but dot make it a big deal or he might make up a story in hes head to tell you before he gets there if he is clever enough to think you may have found something..
hopefully its nothing but just see what he says and how he reacts when you tell him..

thats when i would decide about messaging this other girl x

 

[totallyashley]

I know how hard it is when you find out the OH/FOB is or has cheated. I found out twice! The best thing to do is confront him and if he is anything like my FOB then he will tell you the truth. If not show him the proof and he will have to admit it. Then I would message her boyfriend. I wouldn't message her as messaging her boyfriend is a lot more damaging. I hope everything is alright for you hun

 

[vaniilla]

I think privacy is an important thing in a relationship but its not like you hacked into his account, he knows that you could potentially go on his mail, and the argument for not snooping on your partner is that they are not supposed to have anything to hide so he can't complain about his privacy when he obviously has got things to hide!

I would confront him and if you want you can send the copy of the messages to the girls bf and let him make of it what he will that way its up to him if does anything about it, if someone was doing that to me I would want to be told as harsh as it is hearing it from someone else not knowing is worse. Your oh has a lot of explaining to do from what I see, don't let him sweet talk things and make a fool out of you, I hope it all gets sorted out soon hun

 

[bbyno1]

i find it really upsetting that we should trust our OH and yeah we do give in and sometimes go down thier phones,through their personal things and that may be wrong of us but then we find things that are even more wrong and its like what if we never looked?would we ever find out?
i wish they were as caring as us girlsx

 

[rainbows_x]

Aww hun
What a jerk & what a bitch the girl is

Definitley confront him, you have the evidence so he can't back out of it!
He knows you had his password, so can't get mad at you for looking.
Don't let him know in advance you know, just wait until he comes home then come out with it, that way he will have no time to think, or get out of it.

I really hope you are okay hun.
x

 

[Jadelm]

What an effing wanker!!!!!! I'd deffo tell her boyfriend! And tell them both you know.. and BE FURIOUS. x

 

[abbSTAR]

What an effing wanker!!!!!! I'd deffo tell her boyfriend! And tell them both you know.. and BE FURIOUS. x

Sounds good