Advice please - back to Hospital.

[Cornish]

Hi ladies, you have all given me such fantastic support over the last few weeks and now I need some more.
For those that dont know I had an erpc on 24.2 for a mmc. Should have been 12+1 but baby died around 9 weeks. We saw her and heartbeat at 8+5 weeks so it was really sad news. I only had bleeding for a few days following erpc then continued to dtd every other day to ttc asap.
Almost getting back to myself and feeling more positive, spending time at work and focusing on that and daily stuff really.

Well... today I got a letter from the epu saying that

'now we have the results of the histology from the pathology lab. This has demonstrated an abnormality that I would like to discuss'

Has anyone else experienced this? I am now so worried about it all and really concerned I will get told to not try again. I cant speak to anyone until at least Tuesday about it as the lady is away!
Relying on you ladies to help me please.
xxx

 

[JPARR01]

So they notify you saying that you have an abnormality and you can't speak till anyone till Tuesday?!!? UMM.. If that is the case I would DEMAND to speak to someone! So they want you worrying etc.. till Tuesday?? I would def. call them back and DEMAND IT.

 

[Cornish]

Thanks for replying, Im going a little insane with worry. I called them and got the ward sister who could only tell me my name is in the diary for an appt but she couldnt give more details as the one who requested the appt has left. i asked her to check notes and she said she couldnt. Lady I need to speak to is off till Tuesday. Do you think itll be horrible news?

 

[Hanskiz]

What a nightmare for you Cornish. I'm so sorry.
Did you know that they would be looking at the 'remains' - is that standard practice?
I expect that it is nothing to worry about but that won't stop you worrying I know.
It may be that they have found something that you could be treated for in order to prevent another m/c - and they want to let you know and begin treatment before you TTC again.
I really don't know I'm afraid.

Big

 

[Cornish]

Thanks Hanskiz, they did ask to take part of baby but said it was to check for major problems or molar pregnancy, think it is standard, if you dont hear anything then all ok. As Ive not heard until now I htought all was ok. Letter has hit me like a double decker bus and the fact they wont say anything over the phone just makes it worse. I know I should think positively but it hasnt got me very far!

 

[Hanskiz]

Oh love, I can't imagine. You poor poor thing. I can't believe they can leave you hanging like this.

I don't know what to say... Try and stay positive and just keep super busy til Tuesday when you can find out what on earth is going on!



I'll be thinking of you... x

 

[Cornish]

Thank you, all I want to do is cry. I had jsut started to get back to myself and move on and now this. It truely is shit. Why the hell do they make you wait 3 weeks for these results and then send you a letter on a friday. Stupid stupid world.

Thank you for your support Hanskiz, hope you are feeling better.x

 

[Cornish]

Has this not happened to anyone?! Please respond if it has, even if it was bad news - just so I know something.x

 

[Hanskiz]

Stupid stupid world.

My sentiments exactly!

Do something nice with your OH and LO this weekend and remember it probably is nothing too serious as you have a healthy child already.

Look after yourself. x

 

[lozzie27]

hello i work at a hospital and from my experience if it was something serious I think they may call you to come in the fact that they have sent a letter appointment would to me suggest it is just to discuss the findings (don't quote me on this but i just think if it was really something to worry about they would have rang you to go in) i really hope everything is ok try not to worry this weekend

 

[hollyw79]

awwww hun.. I am sorry- I know I would be worrying like crazy too. I definitely agree with Lozzie that if it was a HUGE deal they wouldn't have sent a letter and called.. but maybe needed to make you aware of something they found which is why the letter was sent. I know when I went for my post-op, my doc said they did test the tissue and it was sent to pathology (I guess I had passed the fetus on my own before the d&c as I bled for 5 days on my own) and thankfully it came back normal.. but I think it is normal to check. I know this is worrisome but it will be okay my dear, I really do think so.

 

[Cornish]

Thank you for replying lozzie27, I really dont know what to think at the moment, have been going through all what I see as possible from something like downs syndrome to something very serious that will stop me having children.

I didnt metion before but the letter does state that it is 'dictated but not seen to speed delivery'

If all of this comes out that everything is ok I am gong to have a serious word with how these letters go out as I really do no know how to think at the mo. I cant speak to anyone until Tues and dont have an appt for days.

If anyone else has experienced simlar it would be lovely to hear.xxx

 

[Cornish]

Thank you Holly, they did tell me that samples would be sent, I suppose I was just presuming that I wouold have heard back by now, and therefore had thought that all was ok and my mmc was just one of those things. I think the main thinng that is worring me is not being able to hve more children, I just really dont know what they will say.

The mmc has been one of the worst things that I have ever had to deal with, now dealing with the uncertainty of having children is killing me. I just wish I was given more answers or less information on the letter!

Thanks again for your support, my poor OH doesnt know what to do with me!

 

[Ruskiegirl]

IM sorry hun i cant offer any advice here , I havent been through this sort of thing wish i could help hun but didnt want to read and run

 

[Cornish]

Also should I be worried that we have been dtd every other day and ttc following mmc? I am now worried that they will tell me I should have waited. I know some are saying that they would have called with important info but I work 8-5 in a school so maybe they dudnt leave a msg/.?????????????????????????????????????

Any answers grateful.x

 

[Ruskiegirl]

I started trying straight away myself hun about 2 weeks after my mc . Im not sure on a MMC it might be a different story

 

[hollyw79]

Thank you Holly, they did tell me that samples would be sent, I suppose I was just presuming that I wouold have heard back by now, and therefore had thought that all was ok and my mmc was just one of those things. I think the main thinng that is worring me is not being able to hve more children, I just really dont know what they will say.

The mmc has been one of the worst things that I have ever had to deal with, now dealing with the uncertainty of having children is killing me. I just wish I was given more answers or less information on the letter!

Thanks again for your support, my poor OH doesnt know what to do with me!

I realllllly do understand. I am like you in wanting a second child- and to be honest- there is NOTHING on this earth that I want more than to have another child. I am sooooo blessed and thankful to have my husband and my son and not a day passes that I don't thank God for them. The honest truth though is that I crave nothing more than my son having a brother or sister- nothing material can fill this void. Being a mother is the GREATEST blessing. I know that it's taking every ounce of strength to get through these next few days.. you will soon have your answers though and if anything - if there is something they noticed- it's better to know NOW that way you can prepare better to avoid this from ever happening again. Have you posted this in the miscarriage section or the 2nd tri loss section??? You might get some more responses in there too maybe?? Wish I could give you a big hug my dear!!

 

[Cornish]

I started trying straight away myself hun about 2 weeks after my mc . Im not sure on a MMC it might be a different story

Thanks for replying, I started dtd after 8 days as I was bleed free. Im now concerned that if i do get a bfp (unlikely) that Im not meant to. how would I cope with being told Im not meant to have more children?

 

[hollyw79]

Also should I be worried that we have been dtd every other day and ttc following mmc? I am now worried that they will tell me I should have waited. I know some are saying that they would have called with important info but I work 8-5 in a school so maybe they dudnt leave a msg/.?????????????????????????????????????

Any answers grateful.x

this is my personal thought on that- God is looking out for you and your family my dear. My all time favorite verse in my signature~

Jeremiah 29:11

11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

And~

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:6,7). "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose" (Romans 8:28).

You are going to be okay.. God never gives you more than you can handle and can hear the desires of your heart and is looking out for you. God will not allow you to conceive a child that doesn't have a purpose and that wasn't meant to be conceived. EVERYTHING happens for a reason. I am a firm believer in that. I definitely don't mean to push my beliefs on you at all.. just sharing in how I feel.

Right now, you just have to give it to God~ trust and try and have peace in that... I really do think you are fine to still continue being with your DH..

 

[Cornish]

Holly, thank you, as always you create something positive.

It will be good to know if some thing went wrong, I suppose I just had it in my head that all would be ok. I wouldnt be the one to have a mc, i certainly wouldnt be one to have a problem - well I have all it seems.

We joked tonight on stopping at 2! Im one of 5 and alwasy worked with children so always thought of having a big family. My 2 yr old is amazing and like you I would not swop him for the world but I do want more. Greedy, maybe. Maybe I wont be allowed. i suppose this letter knows all.

Thank you for talking Holly.xxx