Advice please - back to Hospital.

[hollyw79]

I just read your other post too before my most recent one.. and if there IS an issue - these days, a lot can be done to help selectively pick a healthy egg and sperm. this is one of my current concerns actually~ not sure if you've followed my journal at all - but I've been having problems with pancreatitis off and on and I've had concerns about carrying a child with that (had a pancreatic attack during the process of miscarrying). I went to see a specialist on Tuesday~ come to find out I *MAY* be a carrier of the cystic fibrosis gene.. I'm waiting to find out- but most babies/kids don't survive that - and if they do- it's not for long. I'm sitting here right now WAITING to find out .. not sure how long the blood work will take. If I am- my Dh has to get tested. 1 in 30 people roughly are carriers. If he is a carrier too- we most likely will have to go straight to IVF to selectively pick the egg and sperm that isn't afflicted with this. I am *not* letting this stop me from trying to conceive for now though... I don't have any definite answers on anything- only a possibility of something- and I just *know* that whatever path I end up on or no matter what road I take to get a BFP- whether it be naturally or IVF~ whatever happens- will happen and I just have to trust that God hears my prayers and desires for another child.

 

[Cornish]

Sorry Holly I must have replied at the same time as you!

I love those words, they are lovely, but I am not a great believer in God, I have lost my Mum only a few years ago and brought my younger brothers up too, we have live a hard life and it just seems to be getting harder no matter how much good I do. I like to believe in something, but am unsure what it is at the moment. Please continue with these beautiful words as they are very inspriring.xxx

 

[hollyw79]

Holly, thank you, as always you create something positive.

It will be good to know if some thing went wrong, I suppose I just had it in my head that all would be ok. I wouldnt be the one to have a mc, i certainly wouldnt be one to have a problem - well I have all it seems.

We joked tonight on stopping at 2! Im one of 5 and alwasy worked with children so always thought of having a big family. My 2 yr old is amazing and like you I would not swop him for the world but I do want more. Greedy, maybe. Maybe I wont be allowed. i suppose this letter knows all.

Thank you for talking Holly.xxx

Your situation is so similar to mine.. I am one of 4 kids myself and I just always wanted the same. My son is already 8 and time is tick tocking away - took me forever to find a decent man to marry after getting divorced about 5 years ago- this wasn't how I planned it at all. I see my son outside riding his bike alone and it breaks my heart- because I remember how I grew up and was outside playing 'store' and building tents, bike riding, hide and seek, all of that with my 3 sisters.. and he won't know what that's like now. But at the same token- he will be SUCH an amazing helper when I do get preggo again.. and he is very independent and I won't have to run around the house after him.. and he gets to do cool 'adult' stuff too like stay up late and whatnot. It's not what I envisioned but I will still be THRILLED because that's all I can do - is try and make the best of it..

 

[hollyw79]

Sorry Holly I must have replied at the same time as you!

I love those words, they are lovely, but I am not a great believer in God, I have lost my Mum only a few years ago and brought my younger brothers up too, we have live a hard life and it just seems to be getting harder no matter how much good I do. I like to believe in something, but am unsure what it is at the moment. Please continue with these beautiful words as they are very inspriring.xxx

Well, I can only say that "belief in something" ... that desire.. is there for a reason, ya know?? Keep yourself busy to help pass the time~ I know waiting is the worst, I really do.. like waiting to miscarry- I knew it was coming and had to wait a week for the heart to stop. Lots and lots of hugs!

 

[hollyw79]

How are you holding up today my dear??

 

[baileykenz]

so sos to hear this..
hope all goes well x

 

[Cornish]

Hey Holly, I spent yesterday away from the evils of google and played out with little boy. I have a hundred questions going around my head but I am calmer than I was. Am going to call first thing on Tuesday and hopefully get some answers over the phone, but they may not tell me anything.

Thank you for the support.

 

[Neversaynever]

Cornish, just wanted to wish you luck

XxX

 

[hollyw79]

I am glad my dear.. definitely a good thing to just play with your son and be around him to help keep you distracted.

 

[Hanskiz]

 

[Lyo28]

Cornish I really feel that it will all be ok. It is just such a pity that you have to wait and of course you are worried. They may have just found something that can be helped in the next pregnancy.


Also Holly just wanted to add that I have a 50/50 chance of carrying the CF gene as my mother is a carrier and my half brother has CF. But it isn't the end of the world. Even if your Dh was a carrier- it doesn't mean your child will have CF- that is just a 1 in 4 chance if you both have the gene. More of a chance you will have a baby without CF.

Also I know you say they don't survive but I have to disagree with you to some degree - as in they have a shorter life expectancy but they do have a life. My brother is 11 and he has a great quality of life. Yes he has to go on and out of hospital and gets bouts of infections but he is the happiest little guy ever. Here in this country the life expectancy is grim- mid twenties. But in the US I believe it is up to the 40's in some cases.

I just wanted to add that. I know everyone wants a healthy child of course.

I personally wouldn't go straight to IVF as there is a 75 percent chance even if we were both carriers that we will have a healthy baby and those are good odds. I have tormented myself with this but I suppose because I see how happy my little bro is and I believe he was meant for this earth it sways me in the direction of letting what will be will be- Neither me nor DH has got tested and I don't intend to either. I know I have a fairly big chance of carrying the gene and odds are DH doesn't so I am just letting things be for now.

 

[hollyw79]

Cornish I really feel that it will all be ok. It is just such a pity that you have to wait and of course you are worried. They may have just found something that can be helped in the next pregnancy.


Also Holly just wanted to add that I have a 50/50 chance of carrying the CF gene as my mother is a carrier and my half brother has CF. But it isn't the end of the world. Even if your Dh was a carrier- it doesn't mean your child will have CF- that is just a 1 in 4 chance if you both have the gene. More of a chance you will have a baby without CF.

Also I know you say they don't survive but I have to disagree with you to some degree - as in they have a shorter life expectancy but they do have a life. My brother is 11 and he has a great quality of life. Yes he has to go on and out of hospital and gets bouts of infections but he is the happiest little guy ever. Here in this country the life expectancy is grim- mid twenties. But in the US I believe it is up to the 40's in some cases.

I just wanted to add that. I know everyone wants a healthy child of course.

I personally wouldn't go straight to IVF as there is a 75 percent chance even if we were both carriers that we will have a healthy baby and those are good odds. I have tormented myself with this but I suppose because I see how happy my little bro is and I believe he was meant for this earth it sways me in the direction of letting what will be will be- Neither me nor DH has got tested and I don't intend to either. I know I have a fairly big chance of carrying the gene and odds are DH doesn't so I am just letting things be for now.

That is awesome to hear that your brother is doing okay. When i actually went to get the blood drawn~ the lady that did it said her son has it too~ he's 12.. and he seems to be doing okay. I know there are a lot of great advances in health care today where things can be done to improve the quality of life even for those who have CF. I am a firm believer too that God has a purpose in EVERY life that he creates. Just knowing the struggles I've had with pancreatitis- its TERRIBLE and very painful and if I have the ability to do something to be sure my child doesn't have it, I probably would want to pursue that route.. but with that being said~ I'm trying naturally right now regardless of what those results are.... so for right now, just leaving it in God's hands!

 

[1liz9]

Wow, I just read through this chain and I cannot believe they are making you wait... seems very cruel considering they should know how stressful this entire process can be!

On a positive note, I agree with everyone else. It is standard procedure to test after a D&C where I live (awaiting the results of mine). If it was a big problem they wouldn't have sent the letter....and I can't imagine they would call and leave no message. I bet it s something small which can be easily addressed and better your odds of TTC in the future.

I wish you the best of luck and strength the next few days. Please let us all know what you find out.

 

[Cornish]

Well Ive just called and the sister wont tell me a thing, and I cant speak to anyone until Wed evening as the consultant is away, was also told that he prob wont discuss over phone and will have to go in next week. Im thinking this is not going to be good news.

 

[hollyw79]

I know it's easy to think it's all bad hun, but it may be something SO minor and that they just won't talk over the phone. I'm keeping my Fx'd for you!!

 

[WoodyA]

Confidentiality these days is a biggie in the nhs! We can't say ANYTHING over the phone (like not even confirming someone is a patient on the ward!!) just incase we get sued for saying something we shouldn't have to someone we shouldn't have!

 

[jojo23]

fingers crossed hun.. try not to worry too much, easier said than done i know!! i had MMC at 22 weeks baby had stopped developing properly around 18 weeks. they took a sample of her for testing and im still waiting for that!! as far as i know they wont ever discuss anything over the phone with you and as the ladies said if it was something serious they would have calld you in straight away.

its more than likely just to go over the results of everything including your own bloods etc. i was told i would be called back for an appointment to discuss all this but that it could take anything up to 16 weeks so i understand why you feel like everything was fine and now u have this letter but really hun its just their way of doing things!! i am also dtd since about 10 days after as all bleeding etc had stopped!! please keep us posted and ill have you in my thoughts xxxxx so sorry any of us have to go through this

 

[Fizzio]

Cornish - just read your story. So so sorry you are being put through so much worry and anxiety and then to be told today that you might not find out til next week - GRRRRR! The only thing I can say and I know others have said too but if they are happy to wait that long to see you, hopefully it wont be as bad news as you are anticipating.

My thoughts are with you and fingers crossed xx

 

[Cornish]

Update is - they rang me yesterday and would not discuss what is going on but want me in this week. I have an appt for friday afternoon, so suppose its wait and see.
Thanks again for support ladies.x

 

[Lyo28]

Cornish the wait must be torture. It might just be their policy not to discuss it over the phone but it sucks.