advice please

[ananay]

This is my first pregnancy and I am about 6.5 weeks along. I am so tired, my back is in pain, and I have zero energy. It is frustrating my husband, which in turn makes me feel so much worse about myself.

Today I got out of bed at 8am and the first thing my husband said to me in a rude way was to go back to bed cause obviously I need more sleep.

I tried to talk to him about how I wish he would say things in that way to me because I can't help how I am feeling and his response again was that I should go get in bed because he doesn't want to do anything with me anyways and that I can't do anything with him like run or ride a bike because all I do is complain about my pains.

This really upset me. I went to the bedroom and yelled from there about him not being understanding and I started to cry. He told me I was being a raging bitch and when he heard I was crying called me a cry baby.

What can I do to help him understand, or am I being unreasonable and should be trying harder to make sure I do more?

I wish I wasn't so tired, but I work full time and by Saturday just feel exhausted even after I night of sleep.

 

[littlejune]

Being exhausted is totally normal and un avoidable. I feel that way too. Some days I feel like the laziest person in the world even though I am normally very active and work an active job. Stay in bed if you need to and take care of you. As long as you're being kind and not un-necessarily catty towards him I don't think you need to feel guilty at all. You're growing a human; it's your job to take care of that little baby. Hopefully he realizes this and offers to help you out, but until then I don't think men can understand what pregnancy is like, they can just choose how they wish to handle a hormonal and exhausted wife. Is he going to the first OB appt with you? Maybe your doc can shed some light on the fact that you have zero control over how you feel physically right now.

Hope you find some relief from the exhaustion soon! I find a small cup of coffee in the am does wonders- and my ob said a small cup is fine. Good luck hun

 

[Abbey08]

Oh my!! Sorry he's being a jerk! That's so awful. He really should be more understanding and helpful. I don't know what might help but I really hope for ur sake he's more helpful and comforting soon. You don't deserve that and are bringing a baby into this world. Not easy work!

 

[MamaLoCo]

Geez. My husband got frustrated with me once or twice when I was at that point. Maybe he's just having a grumpy day too. They're not used to seeing us like this either so it messes with their moods as well.

It's true that they could just never understand but you'll also not understand what they're going through ...even though we can all only assume it's not nearly as bad...but in the grand spectrum of things they go through, it could be on the worse end for them. When I had the breakdown with my husband, I was just wishing I had some place to go but my family live nowhere nearby.

It almost sounds like he's upset that you can't do everything that he can do. That's just unfair. Obviously you can't and he knows that. If he wants to be unreasonable and take it out on you, then why not just stop confiding in him for a while? If he doesn't want to share in your pregnancy with you, then let him see what that's like. If he can't hang with you during the rough times, then he doesn't deserve the good ones either.

He is being verbally and emotionally abusive and just making things worse when you're already feeling bad. Maybe hearing that from someone else might help him understand that it's not just the opinion of a hormonal pregnant woman.

 

[tallybee]

Wow... sorry he's being such a jerk. Can you sit down and chat to him once you've both calmed? He will need to change his attitude or else you're all gna be miserable. You're going to feel tired and emotional and all sorts of things in this journey. Hugs.xx