advice pls on telling friend who is TTC

[pinkcatgirl]

Please help - my husband and daughter and i are going on holiday next week with my friend and her husband / daughter. They have been TTC for 7m or so, and I know finding it stressful. My 12 week scan isn't til next Fri, the day we go away, so wanted to tell her sooner just to give her time to digest the news in case she is upset.

Trying to compose a text but finding it hard! Any words of advice!?

 

[StranjeGirl]

My Dr had tells his clients that if we are telling someone who has had trouble, it's best to tell them privately first before making a big happy announcement. He feels telling them earlier is better as you can mention that you are still at risk, rather than when you are already in the second trimester and things are going well. It's always so hard. I hope it goes well

 

[pinkcatgirl]

Thanks. I will def not send her a "delighted to announce..." text. Just don't want to sound too miserable / ungrateful either!

 

[ToughhGal]

I would definitely tell her. Hiding things only causes worse situations from my experience. Just let her know you do care about her journey and what she may be feeling when you tell her. Hopefully all goes well.

 

[Nina83]

I was that friend. The past couple of weeks I had started to suspect she was pregnant. We had talked abut this before, and we agreed we would keep each other updated. I was sure she would tell me earlier on.
She apparently waited to tell me last on the list. I overheard her telling someone in the office next to mine and my heart absolutely sunk. It definitely made it harder for me to be happy for her, as harsh or mean as that sounds. After she told me, she "made to announcement" at work to everyone who didn't know.
I was really crushed and hurt, it made it slightly better that I was also pregnant by then, but it did crack our friendship.

I would take her aside and tell her privately, she will be so happy for you. I do recommend telling her after the scan , so she won't feel obligated to ask how it went, and this and that afterwards. You can just give her all the info she needs to know so if she is hurt, she won't need to put on a happy face and ask.
If you'd like to tell her before, I'd call, and not text.

Good luck, and tell us how it went, and have fun on holiday of course

 

[londonangel]

I'd tell her but I'd probably phone instead after the scan - I am sure she'll be happy for you. When I fell pregnant with Eleanor my hubby's sister and her hubby were really happy for us even though unbeknownst to us they'd been ttc for over two years with no success. Fortunately they ended up pregnant two months after Eleanor arrived and last month they added a baby girl to their family (they have a boy and a girl now) so I think we've been overtaken!

 

[Carlyp1990]

I'm unsure, if you text she may feel abit disheartened that you've text but if you call then she may find it hard to sincerely congratulate you. One of my best friends is currently ttc but she also knew we were trying too so we kept each other updated and I told her as soon as I had a positive test so it wasn't hard. She was genuinely happy for me too so that made it easier xx

 

[Zeri]

I think a text is easier to process than a phone call, because you don't have to feel pressured to have an instant happy reaction, and you can take your time and process things before replying. I would tell her before you go on your trip as well.

 

[pinkcatgirl]

Thanks for all the responses. I ended up texting her so that she could process the news. I couldn't really wait til after the scan as my scan is at 2pm and we go on holiday at 7pm with them! This way she gets a week of time if she needs it. Am hoping she is pregnant too, or is very soon, but I know how it sucks to be that person told about a pregnancy when TTC. I almost cried in my daughter swimming class when the teacher told us she was expecting.

 

[Carlyp1990]

How did she respond hun? Xx