After a homebirth?

[xhelenax]

I really like the idea of a homebirth but am worried about the aftermath?

eg if you have a baby in hospital you get a little bit of time to adjust (i realise that its never long enough!) for example for that first night with baby before your sent of into the big wide world.
However with a homebirth whats it like when all the midwifes have packed up and left and you are left with your new addition?

I know of someone that had an unplanned homebirth (luckily she had chosen a midwife team who she knew personally, one happened to usually be a community midwife and were able to rush to the house) and she felt it was a difficult transition.

Did any of you guys feel anything similar?

 

[17thy]

We had an unassisted birth and I thought it was WAY better than being at the hospital. After I gave birth we were able to go lay in our own bed and cuddle, no one rushing us around or bothering us, no questions or bothering my baby and I. It was awesome. My mom brought our daughter back home a few hours later to meet her little brother, and then she spent the night with my mom again and let us have our first night alone with the baby.

I see a lot of people saying "Oh man I wish I didn't have to go home" (hospital birth) and "It'll suck when we don't have all these nice nurses to help out" etc... but I hated all that. I didn't want anyone to whisk my baby away so I could have a nap. I didn't want them to take my babe away for a bath or anything. I just wanted to be left alone and being at home with just my husband and myself it was easy to accomplish that, and way more comfortable to transition into having a new little one.

 

[booflebump]

I think I'll be a lot happier spending our first night at home in bed, rather than in a hospital ward with other mums and babies, by ourselves, without my husband present x

 

[aliss]

If you are unfamiliar with babies in general (ie. if it was my first) then it might be worth it to consider having an experienced female family member stay the first night too in another room, just in case (like your mother or auntie or whatever).

I think we'll do just fine on our own (this isn't my 1st child) but I admit I would have some fears if it was my first (as I was very unfamiliar with babies)

 

[Samiam03]

I agree with a lot of the things other posters are saying. Idk I'm different than a lot of people...I hated the hospital stay with both my births. Nurses come barging in every hour, random people from the hospital come in bugging me, ect. This last birth was especially awful because I tried to sleep when my daughter was asleep but the baby in the next room was screaming bloody murder every hour so I got maybe two hours of sleep the whole time I was at the hospital. We left ASAP this time after a little over 24 hours and it wasn't bad at all. At home I actually got sleep and quiet!

It all depends on what you prefer. Some people don't mind the hospital and want people hovering around them...others want to be left alone. You just have to figure out what works best for you.

 

[MindUtopia]

This is my first baby, so I obviously haven't done it yet, but the reason I wanted to have a home birth was actually to avoid being out in the world on my own with a baby and trying to figure things out right away. The hospital to me feels like that, as does the ride home (trying to figure out the car seat, being physically separated from baby, etc.). I feel like when I'm at home, I can ease into everything a bit better, as the midwives and my doula will only leave once I'm settled and ready to do things on my own (though we are talking a matter of hours here, rather than a matter of days). But it seems so much less scary to be figuring out all that stuff in my own home, where I'm comfortable, and have everything I need, rather than in a big, scary, impersonal hospital. I think I'd feel quite overwhelmed being in a hospital and would rather get out as soon as possible so I could learn things like bathing and feeding at home where I feel I have privacy and comfort. Also, realistically, I think my husband will be a much better source of help and support than nurses and midwives would be, and I'd rather be home with him than trying to work around visiting hours. I think personally that would be quite stressful for me to be struggling through a night feed alone without him and just some nurse I don't even know. So home seems like a much better option to us!

I would imagine there is a HUGE difference between having a planned and an unplanned homebirth though. I have the time to get all that support in place and I'm hiring a doula to be there with us that first day. If I didn't have a chance to plan things and wrap my head around how we'll go about things in the first day or two, then I think it would definitely come as quite a shock (for instance, if I had to go to hospital at the last minute, it would really throw me off and probably seem quite overwhelming).

 

[lozzy21]

I had a hospital birth with my DD and i had no time to adjust in hospital. Between having to get a shower, getting moved to the ward, having all your stuff crammed into a tiny cubicle, OH only being allowed there from 10-8, having to try to juggle pushing your LO in a plastic cot and carying the tray with your food on back to your room, other peoples babys waking you up while your baby is sleeping, people taking loudly on your phone, people just walking into your cubicle with no warning while your trying to get to grips with BF and then walking out leaving your curtain wide open, really not fun.

The idea of having baby and then being able to snuggle in bed or on the sofa with your new baby and OH with out them having to leave, being able to be waited on hand and foot and having no distractions is an amazing thought.

 

[aliss]

Oh I have a postpartum doula too, just for bf help

 

[gryphongrl]

Our midwife stays for a few hours after birth then is back again in 24 hours... Seems like a good amount of visiting, you can't go too wrong down the mothering path in 20 hours or so

 

[elohcin]

My homebirths were unassisted, but I had some family there to feed me and get the house cleaned and just make it a nice relaxing environment for me. With my hospital birth I didn't want to be there anyway so I left 14 hours after she was born and even that felt like I was there forever.

I know most midwives around here stay until you are ready for them to leave and then they come back within 24 hours and then stop by every few days for a week or two.

 

[fionar]

I loved the transition. For a while, my parents and our midwife and her assistant were there, doing some laundry, changing our bedsheets, and doing all the new baby measurements. They made sure I'd eaten and had something to drink and had gone to the bathroom and all that. Then... they just left us alone. They got us all tucked in and left us to have a nap and relax and coo over our son. My parents came back a few hours later with some dinner and such, and the midwife's assistant came the next day to see how everything was going and again three days after birth to see how nursing was going, and we never felt like we didn't get enough hands-on help and checking in on and all that.

I do know I felt so tired after giving birth that I certainly wouldn't have wanted to be being shuttled around from room to room and getting in to a car to go home and all that nonsense. Everything I needed was just there in my house and taken care of. It was beautiful and a very peaceful transition in to parenthood.

 

[NaturalMomma]

I had a homebirth with ds2. After the MW left I was in my own bed with my baby. I looked at him for a few hours, breastfed him (which my MW made sure I could do before she left) and then went to bed with him. My DH and mom were there too. My MW stayed for several hours after birth and then came back the next day. I didn't have a hard time adjusting at all, it just felt so much more normal than the first time which was in the hospital.

 

[flubdub]

Blimey, I couldn't get out of the hospital quick enough! With all three if my babies, it's been around 6 hours and I'm out. I can't imagine wanting to stay in there any longer. That's WHY I want a home birth this time. Ivan just go and get into my own bed, with my own sheets, my own shower, and my own mug for my brew

 

[madasa]

At home you go through the transition as a family, the midwives leave. In hospital, dad is sent home. That felt very wrong to me.

 

[Irish Eyes]

I had a homebirth planned but had to be induced It was horribly stressful afterwards, I didn't feel helped at all. I got no advise on bfing, they just checked that he fed twice. There's a list of things you have to do before you can go home so it was like completing their check list. A MW kept coming in and telling us we were doing things wrong, he was too hot/cold wasn't wearing the right thing etc. They were short staffed so I got no food or drink other than what hubby got me.

We left 4 hours after he was born and that was far too long!

 

[Lozdi]

I have given birth three times. First, in a hospital and I stayed one night, it wasn't peaceful, it was uncomfortable and awkward and I felt lonely. Second birth, hospital, in and out within 6 hours and I would have left sooner but had to wait for the newborn checkup. Third birth, a planned home birth with lovely community midwifes and OH, relaxed, comfortable, baby fit right in to our household and I didn't even feel like there was a transition. If we have any more they will be born at home too, as long as I don't end up high risk for some reason.

So for me, there was zero 'aftermath' from giving birth at home- the midwives cleaned everything up and were gone as soon as I had a wee (the only thing on their check list was to make sure the placenta came away whole and that I could pee) and we were left to settle. We put star trek on and fell asleep together on the sofa

 

[Jodie.82]

I loved the part after my homebirth far more than with my first in the hospital. Hospitals reminds me of sick and ill people and make me feel awful! I hated it all and being on a ward with no privacy and the baby's dad leaving, not nice! plus I was scared my first birth I was paranoid baby was too hot or cold I was clueless about babies I kept going to the midwive station and they wouldnt even come and check my daughter for me they just waved me off with, touch the back of her neck! hated it.

after my homebirth it was amazing, the midwife and doula were there for 3 hours and thats 3 hours of pure uninterrupted or shared attention all for me and baby! then cameback the next day. it was so lovely being in my own home with my new little family straight after the birth

 

[rachiedata]

It is totally right that you, OH and baby should be the ones staying put, and the midwives and everyone else comes to you - to me it feels in hospital (not that I went), you would be the ones moving around for everyone else's convenience. I had such a strong feeling that I didn't want OH to leave, and he really did not leave my side throughout my entire labour or for weeks afterwards until he went back to work. Friends who gave birth in hospital mentioned about the "other people's babies crying" thing too. Really, you'll need all the rest you can get, and your own waking you up is not a problem, but other peoples?!

We did have that feeling when the midwife left - "what do we do with this tiny person?!" - one of the midwives who'd been there commented on it a couple of days later that she realised she'd just left us with a naked baby, no advice on how to dress him, put him in his cot, bare minimum BF advice... but we were fine with that. I think (hope) they knew that as we'd planned a home birth so thoroughly, we would be OK with actual tiny newborn care as well. Good advice to have a relative experienced with babies stay for a night, much better to be one of your own than a hospital worker you don't know from adam.

Having said all that, I gave birth at 11:15pm, the midwives didn't leave until gone half 2 in the morning, and were back by 8am. The postnatal visits seemed to go on forever!! If you've any concerns, or just want a bit more support, speak out and I'm sure they will stay or arrange for more support for you in some way.

 

[cookielucylou]

In my experience the hospital is awful for help anyway-hence why I have chosen to go for a home birth this time round.

 

[milosmum]

i think it depends on the hospital you would give birth in too. I went to the local midwife led unit which is generally very quiet. Had a single room own bathroom, no noise from other people or other peolpe's babies. Support when i asked for it but left alone the rest of the time and my husband could stay as long as he wanted and could have stayed overnight if i wanted him to. i completely support homebirth and would consider it next time but had such a wonderful experience at the midwife unit that it will be a difficult decision for me!

Good luck with your delivery whatever you decide x