after how long TTC did you throw in the towel?

[lynne192]

was wonder how long people were trying before they gave up and what they had all tried before giving up....

we're been TTC 37months and losing alot of hope thinking about throwing in the towel soon due to depression.

 

[MrsF]

heya hun

sounds like you're having a rough time cherub x x x

DH and I are about to start out 6th year. We've had all the tests as you'd expect, 3 rounds of clomid and 1 ISCI cycle. We've got two blastos on ice, and we have said that failing those, we will have one more fresh IVF/ICSI cycle, then we will call it a day.

Depression linked to infertility is a different kind of depression in so far as it needs to be handled differently. I know the physical effects/causes of depression are the same (lack of seratonin, etc), but the depression we feel is often likened to grief and loss.

Sometimes i can feel down / depressed for a good few weeks, but then AF comes and i can see it as a new start (again!!!). Not always mate, sometimes.

Having things to focus on is good - our ICSI was last oct and we said we'd give it 18months before FET (we've actually just brought that forward now to Oct), but in that time we planned holidays, family/friend gatherings, threw ourselves into work, etc, and that helped us. I've learnt that LTTC can withdraw and isolate you from the everyday things, and it takes a whole heap of motivation and energy to get out there and carry on with life (it's so not easy, i really do appreciate that mate), but somehow we do become stronger. Dont ask me how!!!

I hope you start to feel more positive soon hun, i really do,

thinking of you x x x

 

[lynne192]

i am usually pretty good the whole cycle but when AF came this cycle i just kinda deepened myself in depression i dunno how to get out of it this time we have RE appointment on monday so will wait and see what she says and take it from there i guess, we are dealing with PCOS, one tube, backwards uterus, blood problems and suspected sperm allergy, i was hoping by getting our dog and wedding plans it would help but its not, my little one starts nursery on thursday after a huge fight because he has alot of difficulties the nursery was being difficult, anyways hoping things settled soon just was wondering how everyone else coped for so long and how long it took for depression and such to get to others TTC

 

[BlueBoo]

Hi, haven't posted on this forum before, I'm mainly on the mc one after my mmc at the end of June, but feeling so low now that this thread made me want to reply.
I am beginning to seriously think about throwing the towel and I haven't even started my IVF yet.
We've been TTC for 2 years, had all the tests and nothing showing up, had 6 months of clomid, unsuccessful. Was referred for IVF and gave up work in April to make sure I was fully relaxed and able to devote myself to it.
Had my consultation in May where I was booked in to start my IVF in September and, lo and behold, found out the very next day I had got preg naturally.
Unfortunately I lost that one at 11 weeks, and now 8 weeks later I am at my lowest ebb. Things between me and OH are so awful I don't know if we can make it through the trials of IVF, losing another one, the treatments etc. I am 38 and am already thinking that there has to be a point at which I stop putting myself through it.
I know that people have to go through a lot more than this, much longer TTC, more than one mc, other medical interventions, but I'm not sure if we are strong enough to go through IVF.
Sorry to depress everyone but I was glad to see that I wasn't the only one thinking of giving up.
love to all x

 

[lynne192]

awwww hun sorry to hear all you've been through just awful can sympatise after our losses we fell apart for a while but always managed to sort things out, my OH doesn't know i am thinking about throwing in the towel but it will all depend on what RE says.

sorry to hear been so hard for last 2 years hun, hope things work out for you in the end xxxx

 

[mercyme]

I think everyone goes through this -- and I've found it really hard to set firm limits in advance. For example, when we first threw caution to the wind, we said we'd let nature take its course & see what happened. If no baby, no big deal. Bwahahahaha!!!! Now, 3 IUIs later, we're going for IVF. If it doesn't happen with IVF (and a FET, if we're lucky enough to get snowbabies out of IVF), I think that might have to be "it" for us. We really can't drain our entire savings account for 2 rounds of IVF -- one is going to take 1/2 our savings.

Then again, who knows what we'll do when the time comes! But I really think that one IVF is the last thing we'll do.

 

[lynne192]

awww sorry been sooo hard for you hun hope things get better soon and FX for baby soon xxxx

 

[Ruskiegirl]

Ive taken several breaks in my 9 and half years usualy for a cycle or two then we get back to it. I find i need the break every once and awhile cause i get really depressed and almost non stop crying all day long everyday I wouldnt give up mabey just take a short break and spend time with your family do something fun that you wont be able to do when you have a infant around

 

[lynne192]

thanks hun will see what the RE says on monday, my DS starts nursery today but only 2 half days a week so kinda crap but better than nothing.but cause my son has alot of difficulties i think that makes it worse on depression side of things and never really have any "fun" time