All I Want For Christmas Is A Baby...

[S_Dowd]

Is anyone else feeling like this?

DH asked me what I wanted... and I truly have nothing to tell him. Material things just seem so trite and meaningless to me. All I want in this world is to get that bfp before Christmas.

AF is due tomorrow, and I don't think I can take it. This is my last chance before spending my third Christmas since ttc without being pregnant or with a baby.

Why are the holidays so difficult? Sorry for being such a downer, but I'm starting to lose hope. If it hasn't happened by now, I don't think it's ever going to. We are actually talking about adoption, which I am all for. But will this ache ever go away if I don't carry a child? Will I ever feel like a complete woman?

How are you ladies doing this holiday season?

 

[Gvw015]

I know that feeling.

For me it's as though all the things I want are baby things!

I'm on round 2 of clomid now- have u tried clomid?
What tests have been done?
Wert almost at 2 years here Nd I've lost hope. But I don think adoption is in our cards. Far too expensive!

 

[madtowngirl]

I definitely feel this way. I have to stop myself from answering "a baby" when my family asks what I want.

in hopes that it will be your month.

 

[RForReal]

I hear you. Christmas a year ago is when we decided to start NTNP which we only did for a few months before shifting to TTC. All I want for Christmas is a sticky BFP. Here's to all of us getting our Christmas wish this year.

 

[Dini]

I'm in the same boat. Been TTC over 3 years and holidays are horrible! I actually decided to work both thanksgiving and christmas so I didn't have to go to the family events because DH's cousin who is much younger just had her second baby, her first is only 16 months I think and I can't handle everyone cooing over how adorable they both are. I feel like a terrible person for being bitter but DH and I want to celebrate not be near tears. I did go to thanksgiving after I got off work and it was so hard with a newborn 3 ft from me.

I'm on day 7 of the TWW after my first IUI. I have PCOS, and DH has only 1% morphology which we just discovered last month. I'm going crazy waiting, every twinge or pain I get I wonder...We basically stopped using the opk's and trying so hard for the last 6-8 months because we had other issues to focus on but after an IUI its so much harder than just a normal cycle or even a clomid cycle.

It's nice to have people to talk to that get it!

 

[Miss Rach]

Hey everyone...

I'm with you. It's my 3rd Xmas too and I am so feeling it. The stupid adverts here aren't making it any easier. Has anyone seen the Sainsbury's "Christmas film". I have to turn off every time I see it. It's funny because I never saw just how much the whole Xmas thing is geared towards families. I know it's obvious, but until I was in this position and desperate for one of my own, I never saw it. DH and I are having a Xmas just the two of us too, because I just can't bare it.

How is everyone getting on? I am cd 28 and have no idea when I ovulated. I think I might POAS...!
I have immune dysfunction and received intralipid treatment three months ago. No BFP so far. Unfortunately, we are literally starting from scratch again due to this being undiagnosed. I am 37 and freaking out.

I'm starting to lose hope too S Dowd and have been looking into adoption. So hard to keep all of this up. Also beginning to feel like I will never be a proper woman....it's such a lonely feeling.

Let's keep in touch over the holiday period and try to rally each other's spirits!

What are you guys doing about drinking? I have been keeping off it mainly, but I think I might have a couple...

Good luck and I so hope that one, if not all of us comes with some good news too...

Rach x

 

[Myshelsong]

I am on the Third Christmas as well!

This is the worst time of the year for me (mothers and fathers day coming in a close second), I keep thinking that this year will be the miracle year that I can give an amazing gift of a positive test and it will be amazing and there will be tears and hugs but honestly that isn't going to happen.

So sad for us

 

[Dini]

I'm pretty sure I'm out for this Christmas as well, my day 21 progesterone was discouraging, showed I O'd but not very strongly. Next cycle is 100mg clomid and a whole lot of prayers. I'm actually glad I'm working this year, kinda wish I was working Christmas eve too lol. Too many babies and baby talk. If it doesn't happen for us all this year, lets have faith we will be pregnant or have a bundle of joy by next Christmas!!

 

[I_JustWantOne]

Hello! I'm new here and came across this thread literally by typing "all I want for Christmas is a baby"...this is our third Christmas as well. I went off the BCP in march 2010 and started charting and all that in September 2010...we've had one failed fresh IVF and one failed frozen IVF and we have two frozen embies left we're hoping that the third time will be the charm! sigh...I so don't want to go to my husband's family's Christmas...last year - one month after our first failed IVF...I had to go and deal with my SIL's 19 year old daughter...who I didn't realize was pregnant til she stood up and rubbed her belly and announced to the room "I know I shouldn't...but I need to go smoke". As she was also sitting there drinking REGULAR Mountain Dew after Mountain Dew (I gave up all diet pop/caffeine and have never smoked). This year I get to see her and the baby AND my husband's nephew with his new girlfriend who he has only been with for maybe 6 months? And SHE'S knocked up too...Seriously I can't tell you how badly I wish I didn't have to go...

 

[Myshelsong]

Why is every channel on television showing pregnant people, or babies or families.
Even the Big Bang theory this week had Sheldon's sister having a baby. I was crying during Big BANG for goodness sakes.

I hate this time of year so much I just want to crawl in a cave and cry until the new year is over. AAAHHHHHHhhhhh

Sorry, needed to scream a little about this.
How is everyone else handling this?

 

[Gvw015]

December is a difficult time- coming into a new year knowing this year is crossed off is hard. My biggest worry is that it will come to this time next year without success!

 

[Dini]

When some family members (those who know what's going on) have asked what I want for Christmas I have actually told them the ability to conceive. No holding back here. It gets exhausting to try to be upbeat about it.

Amen sister! I'm the same way, tired of everyone telling me "It'll happen when it's supposed to" and "Just relax, it'll happen when you stop stressing over it". Um, infertility doesn't just GO away! So being upbeat for over 3 years is difficult and the holidays are the worst. I was surrounded by babies and pregnant girls Thursday when I went to a friends Premier Jewelry party. I knew I would be but I'm tired of being a bad friend and not going to things because there will be babies there of friends who have had 2 since I've been TTC.

 

[Pinkie3]

Hi Ladies, this is my 3rd Christmas too, this seems to be a 3 year thread!! I remember this time last year thinking 'next Christmas I am going to have a new born or at least a big pregnant belly' its very sad to think I am still sitting here saying the same thing to myself for the 3rd year in a row. I am trying not to beat myself up about it too much, I know any special occasion can be hard it always is, watching all the family adverts, reading everyone facebook status about visiting santa, going nativity plays... unless you shut yourself out from the rest of the world I don't think we will ever get away from it.

We had our first failed IVF cycle back in October and since then I decided to give myself a couple of months off, last month was the most relaxed I have felt in a very long time, we had no BD so there was no surprise/disappointment when AF arrived, I am also going to drink plenty of red wine over the holidays, I think I deserve it, then New Year its back on with the fun and games.

Stay positive ladies, try have a lovely Christmas and your turn will come soon, I truly believe that.

x

 

[Myshelsong]

Hi Ladies, this is my 3rd Christmas too, this seems to be a 3 year thread!! I remember this time last year thinking 'next Christmas I am going to have a new born or at least a big pregnant belly' its very sad to think I am still sitting here saying the same thing to myself for the 3rd year in a row.

I remember thinking this same thing!

I had just had my tubes flushed and I started my AF Christmas eve (thanks for that karma) and was like "Dont worry Michelle, This is the last Christmas you will ever spend childless."
NOPE!!! Not even close, I am no closer to knowing what is goign on three years later. At least I have a referral booked to a fertility specialist but I still dont have a date on that either. Hopefully by April I will have been to see someone with an action plan!

 

[Pinkie3]

Hi Ladies, this is my 3rd Christmas too, this seems to be a 3 year thread!! I remember this time last year thinking 'next Christmas I am going to have a new born or at least a big pregnant belly' its very sad to think I am still sitting here saying the same thing to myself for the 3rd year in a row.

I remember thinking this same thing!

I had just had my tubes flushed and I started my AF Christmas eve (thanks for that karma) and was like "Dont worry Michelle, This is the last Christmas you will ever spend childless."
NOPE!!! Not even close, I am no closer to knowing what is goign on three years later. At least I have a referral booked to a fertility specialist but I still dont have a date on that either. Hopefully by April I will have been to see someone with an action plan!

Oh I forgot to add I also have the joy of spending Christmas with my brother and his girlfriend who is pregnant and who I really don't like, great, I sometimes think I must have been a very bad person in my previous life.

I hope you get some answers in April, and a good plan in place it will give you a focus point and feel like you are taking some steps forward. We will be doing another IVF cycle in the new year, I don't think we will conceive naturally so praying we'll be lucky next time around. Here's to 2014 Christmas babies

 

[Dini]

3 years seems like an eternity in the TTC world doesn't it? Well let's hope by next Christmas we have al least a bun in the oven! Trying to stay positive is so hard and I'm not always successful so I try to take it day by day. I decided if people think I'm rude or bitter because I don't want to gush over everyone who is pregnant they can go fly a kite! (Not exactly the term I'm thinking lol)

 

[longing]

This is my 4th Christmas it really hit me last year on my third, somehow that was the worst year. This year I had a house move to distract me which I think has helped. I am really with you guys though, it is the hardest time of year sending you all strength xxx

 

[Myshelsong]

Being distracted is a great thing around the holidays. I have decided to work through the holidays as much as I can and only taking the days the company is closed.
How is everyone else handling it as the date gets closer to the rush of family and children?

 

[Pinkie3]

I am working over the holidays too, its definitely a nice distraction. Other than that I don't know how to avoid it. I also have a house move coming up so I am trying to focus on that and enjoy the things that I have control over. As they say, New House, New Baby.

I have been having a break for the last few month but in January I am going to get back to basics, taking my pregnacare again, healthy eating, low alcohol (I gave it up for 6 months prior to my IVF, it made no difference), I am also going to start castor oil packs and going back to fertility acupuncture but this break has been just what I needed.

Hope everyone else is coping ok and gets through the holidays ok, we never know maybe we'll get the best Christmas or New Year gift of all... a BFP!! x

 

[Dini]

Pinkie I have thought about fertility acupuncture too, but with the cost of everything as it is I think it'll wait for a break if we take one next cycle. Can I ask..what do the castor oil packs do? Haven't heard of that yet.

We are on to IUI # 2 probably on Dec. 30th. I know we can't afford a third cycle right away if this one fails as I expect it might, so I think we will take a natural cycle next cycle if it doesn't happen. DH and I are really stretching our pennies to get this done, but I think we may take a 2 night break and go out of town this coming weekend as it's a fertile weekend and we could use the time away, even if it's just in a city a few hours away. This holiday season has drained us emotionally, as I know it has all of you as well!

Hope you all have a happy holiday season despite the TTC blues.