Allowing 4year old to stay at grand parents messy house?

Discussion in 'Toddler & Pre-School' started by Lunabelle, Aug 7, 2021.

  1. Lunabelle

    Lunabelle Mother of one

    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2015
    Messages:
    247
    Likes Received:
    49
    We have recently moved closer to my husband’s parents and now there is a lot of talk about our daughter staying over at their house. Initially I thought it was a great idea, but now I have realised their house is just so messy I don’t know if I want her sleeping in there. They also have a dog that has become a little agressive and growls constantly. They keep him in a cage locked up, but my daughter is not at all afraid of dogs as we have a really friendly one and she knows how to unlock the crate.

    My MIL has said she has a mental block at being able to clean their house and she has depression.

    They washed our bed sheets for us and they came back completely covered in dog hair I will be taking them to the launderette now until we get our drier. Now they are looking at buying a blow up mattress for DD but how could she sleep on the floor if there is so much dog hair everywhere, I don’t want her to develop an allergy and anyways just breathing them in even just for one night occasionally.

    I suggested to husband to us going away to stay somewhere for the night and grand parents coming over here to stay with DD but he wasn’t too keen on spending extra money currently.

    I am going to be giving birth in a few months so it would be good for DD to have spent the night away from me before I go to the hospital, but I just can’t bear it in my heart that she would stay over there when it’s not clean and safe. What do you guys thinks? Would you let your child stay at a messy house and with a dog that’s potentially aggressive ?
     
  2. Mummy23beauts

    Mummy23beauts Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 27, 2013
    Messages:
    925
    Likes Received:
    126
    Me personally I couldn’t do it, my mil has cats and let’s them walk over her countertops and defecate where they want.. I refused to allow my children to sleep over.
     
    Lunabelle likes this.
  3. Babybump87

    Babybump87 Mummy to my three musketeers

    Joined:
    Sep 6, 2012
    Messages:
    5,464
    Likes Received:
    1,219
    My answer is simple .. no way .

    There’s too many red flags for me . The dogs aggression and lack of hygiene with all the dog hairs.

    If she has a “mental block” with cleaning , can she even be trusted to look after your DD . Without that coming across as unsympathetic to her depression .
     
  4. DobbyForever

    DobbyForever First Time Momma

    Joined:
    Sep 15, 2013
    Messages:
    15,137
    Likes Received:
    448
    Agreed. This is unrelated-ish, but in my krav class every time the instructor would remind us women to trust our guts/instincts. He has heard so many stories of women ignoring that feeling in their stomach for fear of coming off rude, only for things to go south. If you aren’t comfortable, there’s a reason for that. It stinks, but you have to trust it. The mess doesn’t bother me because I have situational depression (blanking on the official term) and two dogs. So my house can go through periods of disarray, and my son is just fine. But the aggressive dog, especially if she can access the dog, is a big concern. Side note, 4 year olds is old enough to talk about dog behavior. It may not click but worth having those conversations about warning signs and bite zones. Or being taught not to open the crate or give it space. But seriously do not feel guilty about saying no to a sleepover. Honestly I wouldn’t even let her hang out there without me
     
  5. Bevziibubble

    Bevziibubble Well-Known Member
    Moderator

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2012
    Messages:
    160,553
    Likes Received:
    20,188

    I wouldn't. There is a big difference between messy and dirty and unhygienic. It sounds quite unsafe for a child especially.
     
  6. Lunabelle

    Lunabelle Mother of one

    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2015
    Messages:
    247
    Likes Received:
    49
    Thanks for the replies.

    they’ve just kinda dropped the subject for now, neither one of us has told them directly really. Once MIL said about their dog being aggressive and how our DD just isn’t afraid because our dog growls when they play together and I just said yes I agree I think it’s better you stay here with her rather than going to your house and there’s not been any further talk since then.

    We have talked to her about aggressive signs in dogs but she just doesn’t really get it as it’s very similar than when our dog is playing. She knows when an animal is scared, but probably just needs a bit more time to read the body language to understand the difference between angry and playing.
     
  7. Bevziibubble

    Bevziibubble Well-Known Member
    Moderator

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2012
    Messages:
    160,553
    Likes Received:
    20,188

    Definitely sounds like it is best they don't stay there, especially with the dog growling and getting scared and aggressive.
     
  8. amytrisha

    amytrisha Mother of boys.

    Joined:
    Apr 30, 2012
    Messages:
    9,443
    Likes Received:
    11
    The dog would be a no-no for me. It takes seconds for something bad to happen. Mess isn't great, but the dog is definitely far more concerning as it sounds very unpredictable!

    In regards to cleaning if her depression is bad now as you guys live closer maybe you can give her a hand.. But I have no solution for the dog!!
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice