Almost 44 final ttc journey -- buddies needed : )

[TTC74]

What if, indeed. I was planning on doing one more cycle of medicated iui prior to moving on to IVF when I got pregnant. I was literally waiting for AF to begin my final medicated iui when I got pregnant. Fingers crossed . . . Long shot or not.

 

[Sophie2015]

As much as I'd love to believe I might be pregnant I just don't think I am. I have a few suspicious symptoms but P tests are all bfn. I know it's early (10 dpo today) but I just don't think I am.

Feeling rather defeated about starting IVF. I'm not ready for our last attempt to fail. At least until now there was always hope of the next cycle. Hard to accept this is our last chance.

 

[AngelUK]

I know many ppl who have gotten pregnant naturally after IVF, so even if IVF doesn't work, it would not be your last chance.

 

[Sophie2015]

Thanks Angel. I guess it just feels that way. I feel like if I failed at ages 41-43, 44 is a lost cause 😕. Sorry for being such a downer. Just struggling this week I guess. IVF starts this weekend provided AF shows on time. And she should. She always has before.

 

[AngelUK]

Don't apologise. It would be hard not to be down in your situation. I am FXing so much for you and really hope you finally get your little rainbow bean!

 

[CaliDreaming]

Ah, that would be awesome if you got a surprise bfp!! Honestly, I've always thought this could happen for you naturally now that you're on blood thinners. My gut tells me that is the missing link.

I'm glad you have the option of IVF with pgd though so that you can reduce the chances of miscarriage. I feel really good about your chances!!

 

[Sophie2015]

You ladies are such an awesome support!
I don't think I'm pregnant though. Feel constantly nauseous but test is still bfn.
Soooo worried we won't even have decent embryos to test. Trying to stay calm and not worry but it's so hard to know my time has run out.

 

[AngelUK]

What dpo are you now? I am hoping so much for you!
Btw did you never consider Donor Eggs? Or is this too expensive anyway at this point?

 

[Sophie2015]

Yesterday was 11dpo.

We considered DE briefly but ruled it out for multiple reasons. A) I want my biological child. B) we can't afford anything after this IVF try. C) my husband's chromosomes have a "normal" anomaly called inversion 9. RE says it doesn't affect anything but genetic specialist who heads the PGS department says there is research to support that embryos who inherit inversion 9 don't implant. There isn't enough evidence to support not using his sperm (and the 2 losses we were able to get genetics on did not have inversion 9) but it makes using his sperm with a DE less of a sure thing.
I know a lot of people say this but I genuinely don't think a DE baby or even an adopted baby would ever feel like mine. I've made a career out of not getting attached to other people's babies. And unless it came from my egg it'd always be someone else's to me. Luckily my husband agrees and we've never really considered DE, D sperm, or adoption.

Our entire marriage has been pregnancy and loss. It seems strange that 2017 will be different. I'll either be pregnant or the dream will be over. We'll know something from IVF and PGS by January.

 

[AngelUK]

and FX!

 

[CaliDreaming]

Yeah, adoption and DE are not for everyone. Interesting info on your husband's genetic anomaly. Would they be able to test the embryos for that with the PGD?

 

[TTC74]

Well Sophie, I hope very much that by January, you'll be beginning a healthy pregnancy.

 

[Sophie2015]

Cali- Yes. If any of the embryos have inversion 9 PGS will show it. And if that is the only anomaly we would transfer that embryo as inversion 9 causes no issues. There's just some research that says inversion 9 embryos may not implant well. Although out of 5 losses none of them were due to failed implantation. I guess possibly some of the months I didn't conceive you could argue it was an inversion 9 embryo. But clearly sometimes they do implant because my husband is alive and well.
As a side note, my RE and the genetic counselor provided to us after our testing both said it was a non-issue. Only the PGS geneticist last week said there could be a problem. She implied it was an area they don't know much about.
I just hope they can harvest enough eggs. I'll worry about the rest of it once a few fertilize and grow out to a testable stage. Trying not to worry too far in advance. I'm also ready to just get started. Tired of wondering what the next chapter of my life looks like.

 

[Sophie2015]

TTC- I can't even imagine that. I don't dare even dream about it.

 

[CaliDreaming]

That is good that they can test for it though just for piece of mind after the transfer. I was wondering how it would be a major issue given your hubby's existence, lol!

 

[Sophie2015]

Cali- Exactly! We'd have never known had my RE not required karyotyping of us both. It is believed a large portion of the general population has inversions of some sort. All chromosomes are present. One is just completely upside down.

 

[Sophie2015]

Hoping my eyelashes are an indication of egg health. Started taking Ubiquinol 2 months ago. Taking 600mg per day. Had no idea with Ubiquinol you only need 200mg per day. Anyway my eyelashes are now so long I'm going to have to trim them! Hoping my old eggs are feeling just as ambitious as my eyelashes.

 

[hopefulwick]

Hi ladies, I'm going to just jump in because it seems we are all in the same boat. I am 45 and dh and I have been TTC for 2.5 years. We vowed to do it naturally which has been an emotional roller coaster to say the least...I have to hope in the Lord's plan and know that with Him all things are possible. I am currently 16dpo and on cd33. Normal cycle is 28-30 but usually LP doesn't make it beyond 13. When I had my daughter (who is now 22), I didn't get a confirmation until about a month after I conceived. Could it be that the hormones take a while to build for me? I tested this morning and BFN

 

[AngelUK]

Oh I am FXing for you. I cannot advise as my cycles are not regular anymore. FX FX!

 

[hopefulwick]

That's what I am worried about. At 45, I have been told cycles go a little haywire and things become unpredictable. However, I have been extremely regular all my life so maybe i'll be late to the menopause party. I looked at my due date with my dd and counted back and it would have been around 2/21 when I conceived. We didn't have a BFP until 3/30 from the DR. That's why I'm wondering about being 16 dpo and still seeing a BFN.