Almost four weeks until I can find out.

[laura11111]

I'm almost four weeks away from being 20 weeks pregnant. I don't yet have my ultrasound appointment, but I'm getting nervous.

I still have hope that it could be a girl, which is what's keeping me going. By that, I mean I'm so tired (caring for my two year old and eight month old on little sleep). This pregnancy was a surprise and I'm still not ready for another baby. We wanted to wait.

My husband and I are going to lie to everyone about the ultrasound date so that we can have a couple days to let it sink it (if it's another boy). I won't be able to handle any "I told you so's" right away. I mistakenly joked to my mother-in-law that it's definitely a girl and she quickly shut me down. Told me not to get too excited because it could be a boy. I explained that I know it could be either, but I think it was too late and it's now in her head that I'm expecting a girl.

Seriously, I'm going to need some counseling if it's a boy. I don't know how you just give up a lifelong dream of having a daughter. I'm already bitter that I'm the ONLY one of my friend's and family that didn't get one of each for their first two. I'm going to have to learn to let that jealousy go and be happy for them. I am thankful (of course) that we were able to have children and so far, they are all healthy. I guess all of our problems are relative.

The plan is for my husband to come and sit in the waiting room. I'm going to ask them to tell him so he can tell me after we leave. I don't want to cry in front of the ultrasound technicians. I'm sure I will seem very petty as they've probably had to tell people some very bad news about the health of their baby. I don't even know it mine is healthy yet.

Those are just my thoughts. My oldest is still napping so I had some time and wanted to get them out.

Thanks for listening.

 

[Jessicahide]

Are you sure that this is about gender, to me you sound like you are suffering from depression, and you have concentrated on gender being the reason x

I think you should ask to talk to someone now rather than wait. xxxx

 

[laura11111]

Are you sure that this is about gender, to me you sound like you are suffering from depression, and you have concentrated on gender being the reason x

I think you should ask to talk to someone now rather than wait. xxxx

Thanks, no. I'm good. Still enjoying daily life and fun things. Just sleepy tired because I'm literally waking up every hour to either pee, scratch my arm/apply ice packs (I have an itchy arm condition), or feed my son who still wakes up twice a night. Also, I like to think I'm pretty self aware when it comes to my mental state. I studied abnormal psychology in Uni so I know how important it is to catch depression when it starts. I appreciate your concern!

I just always thought, from a young age that I would have a daughter. I've always looked forward to dressing her in pink and sparkly things, painting her nails, and doing her hair. I have a good relationship with my mom and thought I would have the same thing as a mother. It's funny, I never actually thought that I might get all boys. Not sure why I didn't think that was a possibility.

Also, really wasn't ready for this pregnancy. Was so looking forward to next summer not having a baby and not being pregnant. Wanted to start riding my horses again, going to parks and the beach, and visiting splash pads. That's going to be sooooo hard on the little sleep you get when you have a newborn. Plus, I'll never find a babysitter who I can trust with three under three. My dream come true of having a girl would really make it all worth it.

 

[maryanne1987]

I think though the main thing to remember is that even if you did have a girl she still may not like being dressed up etc. My daughter is 15 months and she hates being dressed up. She likes to play with her brother, get dirty playing with mud and wrestle with the boys. Not the perfect little princess I had expected but a wonderful little strong minded, independent girl. Could it be that the fact the pregnancy was unplanned is the reason you feel so strongly about having a girl? I really hope that all goes ok with the scan and you are able to make peace with what ever the outcome. Just remember that that little person you are carrying will love you unconditionally once he or she arrives. And I know it's hard to see at the moment but I'm 100% sure you will feel the same even if it is another boy.

 

[Dannypop]

After 2 boys it is so completely natural to want a girl and it's not just for the glitter and nails and pink. It's for the relationship. The emotional connection as she grows up. I am not a girly-girl at all. I actually fear having to buy barbies and play dress up and pink clothes do not appeal to me. At all! But after 2 boys I was so desperate for a daughter. For the relationship connection.

And because you didn't plan to have another baby quite yet, a 3rd boy would feel a bit more difficult than if it lands up being a girl -that would make it feel so much more meant to be and easy to accept. And you shouldn't judge yourself if you feel like that. The guilt is there obviously but you can't help feel what you feel.

I too was so scared how I would react to a 3rd boy. It terrified me.

Here with you for the next few weeks while you wait to find out

 

[laura11111]

I think though the main thing to remember is that even if you did have a girl she still may not like being dressed up etc. My daughter is 15 months and she hates being dressed up. She likes to play with her brother, get dirty playing with mud and wrestle with the boys. Not the perfect little princess I had expected but a wonderful little strong minded, independent girl. Could it be that the fact the pregnancy was unplanned is the reason you feel so strongly about having a girl? I really hope that all goes ok with the scan and you are able to make peace with what ever the outcome. Just remember that that little person you are carrying will love you unconditionally once he or she arrives. And I know it's hard to see at the moment but I'm 100% sure you will feel the same even if it is another boy.

Yes, but you can shove them in girly clothes until they are old enough to fight you I live on a farm so I expect all my children will love playing in the mud. That's okay with me! It's not that the pregnancy was unplanned. I would have been obsessing anyways. We would have stopped at two if we had had one of each. When our second came out a boy we planned to try for a girl in a couple years. I had hoped for a girl for my first and then hoped even harder for my second. We're down to the wire here as I don't want four children. Thanks. I'm sure I'll be able to make peace. It will just be tough for a bit. That's why we've decided to find out this time. I don't want to be disappointed with a newborn in my arms.

After 2 boys it is so completely natural to want a girl and it's not just for the glitter and nails and pink. It's for the relationship. The emotional connection as she grows up. I am not a girly-girl at all. I actually fear having to buy barbies and play dress up and pink clothes do not appeal to me. At all! But after 2 boys I was so desperate for a daughter. For the relationship connection.

And because you didn't plan to have another baby quite yet, a 3rd boy would feel a bit more difficult than if it lands up being a girl -that would make it feel so much more meant to be and easy to accept. And you shouldn't judge yourself if you feel like that. The guilt is there obviously but you can't help feel what you feel.

I too was so scared how I would react to a 3rd boy. It terrified me.

Here with you for the next few weeks while you wait to find out

Yep. You understand Did you get your girl?

 

[laura11111]

Just want to say thanks for the replies. I'm actually feeling a bit better. I just needed to talk about my feelings with someone other than my husband, sister, mom, and friends. Yep...I talk alot...lol.

 

[MemmaJ]

That's good though Laura and very brave..!
I'm 10+2 and feel the same as you - I have 3 boys and this pregnancy was also a surprise..

And the only person who knows that I'd 'quite like' a girl is my partner - I have even played it down a bit to him though.
No-one else knows as I feel embarrassed and ashamed of feeling that way, so it shows you're a strong person to be talking to people about it.

I've booked a private gender scan in 5 weeks time (I'll be 15+1), so I feel your pain with the waiting game!

 

[Dannypop]

Talking is the best therapy!! I am so glad you are feeling better. And then you will likely feel sad again and then settled and then sad. It's a cycle. As with anything we dream for.

Disappointment of another boy would be there whether you tried for months to fall pregnant or whether it happened overnight before you we actively ttc. You just feel slightly more out of control when it wasn't completely planned and that does one of two things:
Adds to the disappointment if another boy
Makes it feel extra lucky and meant to be if it's a girl.
Either way there is guilt.

I found out number 3 is a girl and I know it would have taken me a long while to process my feelings if it was a boy But that is totally ok.

Please keep updating on how you are going
Xx