Am I being a cow?

[Louppey]

I would just insist that she doesn't stay with you, and if her visits get too much then you can ask her to leave. Personally, it's lovely that she wants to see bubs so try and focus on that. Just have firm rules and honestly do not feel bad telling her to get out.

Under no circumstances allow her to stay with you!!! Nooooo way

 

[spinneybaby]

If she is the "helpful" type of MIL, You may be surprised how much you appreciate her being around. We built our house on land right behind my in laws home (I'm not crazy) and when we had DS, my Mother in Law was a Godsend. They have come to see him pretty much every day in the last 2 years since he was born but they usually listen if we want some alone time too. When we came home from the hospital, I really appreciated her morning visits that allowed us to take a nap if we were up all night, take a shower, and take care of myself cause lord knows there's a lot to take care of after birth... I am really really close to my mother in law and had no issues with nursing around her or my father in law for that matter but I was of the mindset that I was feeding my baby and if there was anyone that didn't like it, they could look away. My Mother in law would come up to our house "on demand" whenever I called her in the morning if we had an awful night...one of those "growth spurt up all night" kind of nights. She was my morning angel. She would take our son and allow me to go to bed for a couple hours until he needed to nurse again. some nights I would have been crazy if it wasn't for knowing she would be there in the morning if I needed her. Our son is now over 2 years old and extremely close with my MIL. She watches him through the days now that we are at work and I really appreciate everything she does. Don't get me worng, we have had our minor disagreements but nothing serious... now I nderstand not every situation is like this as we are extremely close but you never know how much help she may be in that first week...when you have no time to make meals, do laundry, dust, clean, etc...she will be there to help out! this is just my two cents but if you aren't comfortable with her there than by all means suggest she stay elsewhere. We did limit other visitors for the first few days but not our parents/siblings.

 

[bekkie]

my mom came to visit 1 week after DS was born - honestly... there was no 'routine' for a couple months with us... and it was quite helpful having people over early - they could help with cooking, cleaning... things that I had problems doing - and with OH going back to work, it was nice to have adult company during the day when I still couldn't really leave the house... and I don't get along with my mom typically - so I was quite nervous about her visit, and then shocked at how well it went.

 

[Glitterdiva]

Thanks guys. I have point blank refused to have her staying with us and DH has already told her that shell have to stay elsewhere. He's going to keep reiterating it too just so she doesn't forget.
We get on real Well but she's a very exuberant character and I'm scared shell start ruining our routine and poking her nose in when I'm learning to breast feed.
Apparently she'll be here for two weeks every day!!! Which means the other 3 grand mothers don't get a look in, which is a Shame as its those guys who'll be my rocks when she's gone. Ah we'll not a lot I can do about it, so ill have to suck it up. God I hope bubba comes early so we can get settled before she arrives!!!

 

[undomestic]

I'm terrified that my in-laws will want to come over right after the baby is born as well... I kind of doubt it, since my mother-in-law only comes out once a year (if that), but, I just don't want houseguests right after the baby is born (and they definitely can't afford hotels).. I get along with them ok.. But like you, I just want the first few weeks to be about us and the baby.

 

[Malouka]

Can I check something? My mil is booking her flights to come sty from the USA for when baby is born. I'm horrified as I really wanted to keep people at bay until I'd got us into a routine etc etc.....
What do I do?? DH is going to tell her shell have to stay with friends as I really don't want guests
Thanks xxx

It is your right ofcourse. I would only bring it a bit different. Tell her youre very exited to have her around but that you think its better if shes come a few weeks after birth because you would feel much more comfortable like that. I would definately start by saying you are very exited and happy she thinks the same. because if you leave that too the end she might not listen or believe you good luck

 

[mhk425]

I know I'm going to be begging my mom to come over when I first have the baby. On the other hand, my MIL plans on coming up (she lives about 6 hours away) on the day of the delivery and then staying with us for a while. I wouldn't mind if she would behave herself, but when my SIL had her baby, she would NOT leave the baby alone! No one else (including SIL) got much of a chance to interact with the new baby because my MIL was completely obsessed. In fact, the baby is now 16 months old, and she's still the same way! My SIL has had to tell her, "No, I'll feed her. No, I'll give her a bath." I'm just hoping she's not as bad with mine b/c it'll be her second grandchild, but I know that if she is, I won't be able to bite my tongue!

 

[nursemommy]

Going through the same thing! I told my inlaws they couldn't come until baby is 1 month old so we could get into a good routine. Plus my mom is staying with us the first week after baby is born to help with my son who will be 4 at that time. I want my 4 year old to get used to having a sister and get into some what of a routine before having house guests. We don't really get along that well with my inlaws and I don't want that added stress in the house the first month. It is your right to say when you are ready for company espeically if they are staying with you. When you feel comfortabe it will be a better stay for everyone than if they just show up and you aren't ready.You call the shots.

Might be different if the in laws are helpful. Mine aren't helpful and my MIL will expect us to wait on her hand and foot. My FIL and MIL will think it is helpful to just hold the new baby instead of what I would really need help with....like laundry (i will probably be a repeat c-section so no lifting), cooking, and helping with my 4 year old.

 

[Glitterdiva]

Well now the other grabd parents have found out the other 3 sets are now saying they're going to come round right from the off seeing as mil is!!!! Arrrrghhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!! Mil even wants to be there when I'm going into labour, wtf!????? No way!!!