Am I in the wrong? Am I being horrible?

[BethHx]

To cut a long story as short as possible..
My middle name is Rose after my twin sisters who passed away before me.
I adore the name and adore the reason for using it

My auntie who lives in London (we're very close but only see eachother 4 times a year?) has a daughter whom she called Rose.

With Isabelle we wanted to call her Rose/Rosie which really upset my auntie. But because we liked the name Isabelle to we decided to keep the peace and not use Rose.

I warned her if I was to have another girl in the future we will very likely call her Rosie.

We are really strugglingn to find a name for bump & the main reason is because in my heart the only name I love as much as Isabelle is Rose/Rosie.

My auntie does not want us to use it. She has just recovered from cancer and lost her mom (my nan) last month so has had a tough year.

I feel that because of the reasons I want the name and the fact she loves 4 hours away I should be able to use it. Why settle for second best?
But she feels that I shouldn't use it - it really upsets her.

I love my auntie to bits and her daughter but I feel I'm really not doing anything wrong.

Is it ok to call my daughter the same name as my cousin?

I don't like any variants, Rosabelle Rosanna etc but think Rosa is ok.

 

[slg76]

I don't think it's a big deal to use the same name. I worried about this with our first child. We have a huge family so many of the names I like were already "taken". If/when we have a second child I won't think twice about naming him/her the same as a cousin. Since your aunt has a Rose than why don't you use Rosie? Or, when talking to your aunt you could refer to your daughter by both her first and middle name to avoid confusion. I would hope that if you really explain to your aunt how important this is for you then she would understand and want you to be happy.

 

[AP]

She only sees you about 4 times a year, I think she's being a bit outrageous. How old is her daughter, out of interest?

 

[MUMOF5]

I think your aunt is being a bit unreasonable. I too adore the name Rose, I think I would probably just use it if it's the name you really want. How about Rosalie? And use the nn Rose? Xx

 

[BethHx]

Her daughter is 6. They mean the world to me - her Rose was ivf so is very special. I think she sees it as because they live far away she doesn't want her Rose replaced (which would never happen)
When I spoke to her about it with my daughter she rang my mom up in tears - & I really don't understand why, as it is just a name?
Only two people agree with my auntie everyone else says I am fine to use it as it means so much to me x

 

[MUMOF5]

You're the one with the sentimental attachment to the name, being that it's after your sister. I personally feel that that gives you 'rights' to the name. It a tough one given that you are close to your aunt. I guess it depends how strongly she feels about it, would she be prepared to never see or speak to you again over it? Xx

 

[BethHx]

Definitely not. She'd be upset for a week or two but eventually get over it x

 

[emyandpotato]

Frankly I think she's being ridiculous. You're not sisters, she's your aunt, it's a totally different generation AND it's a special family name so of course it will be used frequently. Also, what the hell was SHE doing naming her daughter the name of her sibling's dead child? That's insensitive, unless it was to honour your sister, in which case she's being stupid because you, with a deeper connection, are only trying to do the same!

 

[emyandpotato]

And if you don't use it you'll forever regret it.

 

[NicaQ]

I think she's being a little absurd...it's a family name, you don't see her very often, and it's not like it's an out there name either. I don't think it takes away anything from her child. Rosie is beautiful, and even though you said you don't really like the similar, longer names, I agree with PP that Rosalie with nn Rosie might be a way to keep the peace. Another option could be to make Rose her middle name and call her Rosie anyway.

 

[steph.]

I also think your aunt is being unreasonable. My cousin told me if she has a daughter she will be called Sophia. I'm not thrilled at the idea but I would never tell her not to use it! Just because my dd has the name, doesn't give me any rights to it.

I think Rosalind is also beautiful.

 

[cncem]

Well, it seems to me your aunt is being very selfish. The name means as much to you, if not more. I would be mad at her for naming her child after my past-away sister, have you put it to her that way? She should feel honored, not mad. I'd name my child whatever I wanted and sorry if it offends anyone else, is how I feel about it.

 

[RubyRainbows]

Since you are looking for opinions, i'm going to be honest with mine. And i'm not intending to be rude at all.

I do think it would be wrong to use the name Rose. There is no reason for two children in the same family to have the same name, when there are a million names out there. You love many, many names... not just Rose. I think you have had your heart set on a new name every other day: Grace, Eliza, Ella, Ruby, Daisy, Tillie, Matilda, etc. Those are just a few I can recall you "deciding on" over the past few weeks. Chances are you will change your mind again - so why cause family drama and make your aunt cry? Do you think it's possible that you feel so strongly atm that you MUST HAVE Rose, bc you "cant" have it? It's human nature (for all of us) to want something more when it's unattainable.

Plus, your 1st daughter already has the middle name Rose - so you are already using it as tribute to your sisters.

Again, please know i'm not trying to be rude - i'm just giving my honest opinion.

Maybe reverse the situation - how would you feel if a close friend/family member named their new baby Isabelle?

 

[NicaQ]

I didn't even catch in your signature that you put Rose as a middle name for your #1. Since you already have Rose as the middle name for your #1, I don't think I would use Rose again. That's using Rose twice in the same immediate family. I wouldn't be a fan of someone naming one child Rosalie and then naming their second Rosalind either...I feel like this is a similar situation, but at the end of the day, it's your baby and your choice.

 

[BethHx]

Yes we had decided on a few names - Grace Daisy and Eliza. But we both said that they don't feel like the wow name that we want. All we're second best names to Rose which I was trying my hardest to find a name I preferred. (Hense the fact we kept changing our mind - they aren't the right name for us)

Sorry I may have confused people - my twin sisters passed away before I was born. Rose wasn't their name but the phrase on their grave is about Rose's, that is why Rose is my middle name.


I am glad most agree with me in this situation as I really do not feel I am I'm the wrong.

My daughter has Rose as a middle name - bump would have Rosie as a first name. However the name means that much to me if it wasn't a first name it would likely be a middle name again for bump:

In a reverse situation - my bestfriends has told me she would like Isabella as her daughters name. I said it was fine as I don't own a name and she should have what she wants x

 

[BethHx]

& I feel strongly about the name because of the reasons for it being my name. Since I was little I have said I will have a Rose and then my aunt used it.
It's not because I cannot have it that I want it.

 

[cherrylips100]

I think she is being unreasonable as it was your middle name first and she didn't have a problem using it for her own child. That said, I wouldn't personally use it as she would be the fourth (maybe more?) In your family with a Rose name and it is so super common right now as a middle name, she will be surrounded with Sophia Roses, Amelia Roses, Lily Roses..etc at school. I would pick Rosie if you really want it. I can see you really want a sentimental name so maybe try looking options, variants on your name, your mothers names, special places you've been...

 

[RubyRainbows]

Are you planning to put Rosie on the birth certificate... and only call her Rosie? Maybe your aunt wont mind that as much... yet you still get your fav name? Then when Rosie is older, she may choose to go by just Rose.... but that may be 15-20 years down the road and will no longer matter to aunty. Or does your 6-year old cousin Rose, get called Rosie too?

To me they are two different names. I have an aunt named Rosie and I have a co-worker named Rose. I don't really associate them as "the same name" if that makes sense. Actually my co-worker's name is Rosemaria (all one word) - which is gorgeous!

Wasn't there something else you posted once that was on your sister's graves? Blossom maybe? I forget, but I think there was another word from the saying that you considered. Blossom Eliza Rose? Blossom Rose Eliza? These choices are beautiful!!

If you do decide to go with Rose, it may cause hard feelings... but like you said... your aunt will eventually get over it.

 

[lhancock90]

I'd use it

 

[stellaluna431]

I don't have anything to add because everyone has already said it. What about Rosalie? I know you said you don't like many variations of Rose, but that's one you didn't mention. It's different enough to not be "Rose," but you could still call her Rose or Rosa. Just a suggestion It's one of our top "middle name" choices.