Am I the only one that feels this way?

[sn0wbunnie]

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[TTC 84]

Hey, what your feeling is totally normal , I have 4 boys TTC #5 and with each I have always worried about having another but I love them all equally you will be fine , maybe talk to your daughter about how she would feel and include her good luck

 

[Nikki_d72]

Hi there, I have a similar age gap - an 11YO DD and a 16 month old DS and she is gorgeous with him, absolutely adores him. Our situations a wee bit different though as she's always asked for a baby brother or sister and we were pregnant before and lost the babies late so she was well aware of the pregnancy and loss, so she's so precious over him now.

I would say talk to your DD and ask, maybe in a sideways way so you don't get her hopes up or don't really let her know you are talking about yourself, as there is nothing worse that your DD asking you every month if you are pregnant yet when you are reeling with disappointment at another negative month! Maybe you could talk about someone else you know? i.e Such-and such just had a baby, and see how she reacts? She may show indifference or she may tell you how she'd love one and though it has to be ultimately the adult's decision, it may help you gauge her feelings on the matter.

Also, your heart just seems to expand to accommodate all the extra love for another child, it doesn't get divided and reduced, it multiplies and seeing them together makes it swell even more

Obviously time is a finite thing though and she would have to be made to understand that you would have to spend a lot of time with the baby, especially at first but she would probably love to help you and you can all spend time together that way. I had a constant shadow doing everything. She was at the birth too as she so needed a happy ending and to see birth as normal, not ending in death, but that was a very considered and individual choice, I know it wouldn't be for everyone. I do think it bonded them even more though, she did skin-to skin with him while I was getting cleaned up and her face was just a picture, a moment I'll treasure forever.

 

[Tryin4num3]

Hey, what your feeling is totally normal , I have 4 boys TTC #5 and with each I have always worried about having another but I love them all equally you will be fine , maybe talk to your daughter about how she would feel and include her good luck

I completely agree with you.. I have been the same with all my children but once the new child comes it all kinda just falls into place and you no longer worry..