Thank you so much everyone for your responses. I feel so much better than i did this morning, having read a book last night which stated in no uncertain terms that you HAVE to take folic acid before conception to prevent spina bifida and that was that.
I hate the fact that these books assume everyone has a perfectly planned pregnancy. It just ends up leaving those who aren't so perfect and organised feeling remorseful, panicked, guilty and terrified of the damage they have done. I was also drinking red wine like it was going out of fashion before i realised i was pregnant and every blo**dy book and website has made me feel horrendous for that too - did i miss that meeting all women were supposed to go to as soon as soon as they started menstruating which warned us we had to take folic acid, be tee-total and eat like Gillian Mckeith in case we ever got pregnant??!
It's so nice to hear from other real women who, like me, haven't done it perfectly but have done their best since finding out the happy news. Thanks so much for taking the time - I'll sleep much better tonight than i did last night.
Good luck with all your pregnancies xxx