Amount of birthday presents for LO

[Lara310809]

When our first baby was born we had 2 incomes; now we have one, and now we also have another child.

Understandably we had more money to spend on our first baby, so it wasn't a problem when her 1st birthday came around. We didn'tr buy loads for her; a couple of bigger things, like a doll and wooden blocks etc, but then I wrapped up a load of things we had already boughtt for her that she hadn't yet played with. I guess it was for the sole purpose of looking like we'd given her more than we actually had. I post photos to FB for family/friends, so these were in the batch, and I suppose I wanted to look as if I'd made a massve deal of her 1st birthday LOL

Anyway, things couldn't be more different this year; we're fighting to survive on one wage and obviously gifts come second to food. Yes, it really is that desperate It's her 2nd birthday now, and we managed to get her some Duplo and a duvet cover (for her "big girl bed" when she gets it in August). I had to fight to get these things, and we certainly can't afford anything else. The thing is I feel bad when people ask what we've bought her. I feel like I should lie, or avoid the question. I feel like she deserves more, and I can't give it to her And I'm half tempted to wrap a whole load of miscellaneous items just to bulk it up a bit

Please say someone else is in a similar position. I'm not materialistic, I just want my girls to have nice things, and I hate that we can't provide them.

 

[Creative]

We've never had much spare money and do not buy much for our childrens birthdays and christmas. They are grateful for what they get and actually feel very angry at their friends who receive loads and loads and still moan!
Don't get caught in the trap that teaches children to expect an awful lot. Never go into debt to buy gifts and teach your children that they are valued not by the number of gifts they get, but by the amount you love them.
I have walked down from school with mums in the past who have asked what my children were getting for christmas or birthday and acted with shock when told, but we have always lived within our means, never gone into debt and have wonderful polite grateful children.

 

[Eternal]

Your child isnt going to care what you get her, seriously at this age children are over the moon with a bollon or a cardboard box! I hope you wont take this the wrong way but it sounds like you care what other people think, and you shouldnt, just say, what you got them, people may judge but they will if you spent £1000 or £10, I am sure she will be over joyed with her duplo! my son loves his. Its really not about the amount you buy, its about the love you give her which you clear have in abundance.

Plan a nice picnic, do a teddy bear picnic, make a cake, get some ballons and what a fantastic day it will be.

 

[Lara310809]

My OH and I say that we want our kids to appreciate what they have and that they can't always have everything they want. My OH and I were in struggling families when we were growing up, so we're used to it.

We're already in debt, that's the thing. In order to get food to eat, we have to get more into debt. I had an argument with my OH before buying the Duplo; he didn't want to buy it because we couldn't afford it, but I didn't want her to have a birthday without a gift. I know he was right though

 

[Creative]

Have you thought about going to charity shops. You can pick up amazing bargains and a quick wash and sterilise can offer you a great gift at next to nothing.
A bit of wrapping paper and no one else needs to know the source.

 

[Lara310809]

I do care what other people think, and I know it's stupid. Habits take a while to change though, unfortunately. And yes, people judge you if you don't get them anything, and also if you spoil them rotten

 

[kazzzzy]

There's no need to worry about what other people think, suit yourself & your family, a lot of people are cash strapped lately, if you can't afford expensive presents there's nothing to be ashamed of, money is tight with us too and it is tough but I make the most of things, DD is not aware yet of presents etc but even if she was it wouldn't bother me, I will be teaching her the value of money, not to get into too much debt etc. Your LO will be very happy with those presents, enjoy the celebrations x

 

[shortie1990]

I feel bad when we haven't got LO 'loads' for Xmas or birthday, but we just can't afford to, and I don't see the point seen as he has everything anyway, and just to spend money on things that he doesnt need, and won't play with just to feel like I've spoilt him... Not happening, if he needs anything we get it as and when, he doesn't understand birthdays yet. Make the most of that before they start asking for things!

 

[pa2k84]

Like someone else suggested have you tried charity shops or car boot sales
My little boy is going to be 2 next month and set ouraelfs budget of £50. £40 Has gone ina cozy coupe but other £10 has managed new hooded towel, 2 puzzles, 3 books and pair Croc shoes. 90% his Christmas pressies were second hand he didn't care!!

 

[Housewife83]

There are plenty of miserable rich kids who have all the toys in the world but no real love or attention. They would love to have parents like you. Your daughter won't remember what presents she was given but she will remember having a childhood full of love.

 

[Arcanegirl]

I hate the pressure of kids birthdays and struggled with it myself this year, even asked friends if £100 was enough for my soon to be 3 year old and the answer was yes!

He has 4 gifts in the cupboard, 2 other gifts he's had early and he will have a day out to the zoo. The day out I hope he will remember more than the gifts.

 

[angelandbump]

Ebay, charity shops and gumtree <<< They are fantastic. I made a list for my sons 1st Christmas of what i wanted to get him. In argos and other toy shops, the total was over £200 (he would only be 3months old at christmas). When down my local town centre one of the items on my list was in a charity shop. I went in and although it has been used, it looked like new. In argos £24.99 for the vtech light and sound thing ... I paid £2.50!!! Then i got addicted to going in charity shops and going online at ebay and gumtree. I got Everything on the list plus a few extra bits and bobs and it came to just under £40!

You could also sell things you are no longer using and keep the money to one side to buy more. When Mathew was finished with all the toys i got him second hand, i sold them all on and made a profit on nearly all of them too xx

 

[Mummy2B21]

I can symphsise a little hun, It is my son's 1st birthday next month i have already bought him a few bits but being his 1st birthday i want to kind of spoil him or give him the best 1st birthday give him what he deserves ect.
But we are moving next week and have to buy a lot of furnishings so it is realllllly tight, and everyone is telling me how he wont understand, he doesnt need lots of presents which i know is true but its his 1st birthday and i feel guilty if i cant spoil him so ive actually budgeted the shopping half of what it normally is and halfed nearly everything i can its going to be so tight for the next 2 months as we literally have to buy everything.

 

[OmiOmen]

As others have said you could try charity shops, eBay or something like that. But I would not worry, I am sure she will have a great day.

When I was 8 my parents could only afford to get me a colouring book and it did not bother me a bit and then at 16 they spent over £2K on getting me though my CBT, a motorbike, bike-wear and insurance. The only thing that made my 8th birthday worse than my 16th is that my Mum spent the day shouting at me because she felt guilty. So I am of the opinion that if you have fun together that will be what really matters.

Also no matter how much you spend people will judge you. I get a lot of hassle from people saying we spoil our son. You can never please everyone.