Another behaviour thread - sorry, 5 years old

[caz_hills]

I need some advice please.

Since turning four my son has become more assertive, confident and his willpower has increased hugely. These aren't all bad things, don't get me wrong I want him to be confident and have opinions!

But his behaviour is just getting tougher to manage. It's better when I am on my own with him to be honest - this week Hubbie has been off work with us which has been fab but weirdly his behaviour has been a bit worse.

He refuses to eat a lot of the time - eats a few mouthfuls then wants to play. He hasn't ever been a good eater. So I've cut out all snacks and he still is barely hungry.

If i ask him not to do something (ie today at a party he was trying to climb the side of the bouncy castle) he just looks at me and ignores me. I then have to give an ultimatum and follow through.

He says 'I don't care' if I tell him off and doesn't actually seem to care at all! We have stopped treats, etc but it doesn't bother him.

This isn't all the time don't get me wrong but it's like he doesn't care what the punishment is. Maybe it's not enough? We take away the iPad for his TV time at the end of the day - doesn't care, not going on fun days out - fine. He is shockingly content just playing at home so it doesn't bother him.

Any advice? He is a lovely boy generally and a sweetie but when he wants to be he can be so stubborn and quite mean.

 

[lau86]

I think a lot of them are all the same! I intervene if he's doing something that's violent or unsafe but other than that I just try and ignore, it works much better with him than being down on him all the time and getting into the battle of wills which I have been in the past. I'm trying to focus on the positive but it is difficult as it's hard to know whether I'm being soft.

 

[caz_hills]

Thanks Lau. I too worry I'm being too soft some times but then others I feel that I am nagging all the time!

My plan tomorrow is to only nag (!) when I really need to but try to ignore other things that are more minor.

I hope it's just five year old behaviour rather than us failing in good parenting and discipline.

 

[lau86]

It depends on the individual child I guess but nagging all day is a horrible feeling isn't it! My son is a lovely boy, he will play nicely at the park, treat other kids nicely and is mostly kind to his brother and sister. He can be a pain in the bum but when I think about it he's doing quite well, I'm sure yours is the same. You're nearing the end of your pregnancy I would try and let a lot of it go before the chaos starts!!

 

[tommyg]

Pick your battles and be consistent. I'm sure its an age / stage thing.

 

[caz_hills]

Hilarious after posting this he has been a dream today (well until the witching hour at 6!). Typical!

Thanks ladies for your support. As I'm giving birth in a matter of weeks I'm keen to try and help the discipline and things but picking my battles and just trying to enjoy him is great advice thank you x