Dave mate.. just keep doing what you're doing. You are a credit to your daughter and even more so when you read most of the stories on this forum. I feel every ounce of your pain. Havent seen my son in 7 weeks now though I will see him in a contact centre on xmas eve. Its the first time I will be 'alone' with him. I'm in tears thinking about it. Some people are just bitter and alot of the hurt comes from not being able to do anything when we all know you've done nothing wrong.
If you read my last post my ex broke the contact order, her father was abusive when I pointed this out and then they tried to guilt trip me by saying I should try harder..WTF??
Just to have a little selfish rant and let you know about the court's workings and the lengths some people will go to in their spitefullness.... be warned!
We had a pre-arranged date for court last week for xmas contact until this drugs allegation was sorted. The whole day became about the previously broken court order. My ex and her dad accused my solicitor of forging the previous court order by inserting a line that all vists were to be away from her house. Nice one! The judge laughed it out of court and told my ex (who was crying at the thought of going in front of the judge) that she clearly couldn't read. I was to take a drugs test for cannabis but the judge decided to give me unsupervised instead but collecting my son from a contact centre so I could be quickly checked if I was smoking.
He knew I'd given up my two joints a week months ago but he had a duty to investigate any allegation, however absurd. When her solicitor complained the judge decided I was to have 3 blood tests for the next month until Feb when I'd get unsupervised. That would only show if I had smoked in the last 2-3 days. He didnt even want to consider the allegations or anything from my past among another zillion things thrown at me... but her solicitor insisted. The judge made my ex stand up and say I would have unsupervised if the test were clean. Since he knew they were, there was nowhere else for my ex to go. My ex's solicitor was also told off for basically being crap. The child welfare officer/mediator decided my ex was still too hostile for me to have unsupervised and since they carry alot of weight with the judge it was decided a half way house in a contact centre until Feb was best for all involved. This leaves no room for my ex to put up any further obstacles for unsupervised. They protected my son's right to have an independent relationship with his father..and they WILL do the same for you. I have to pay 200 for taxis for the next month to get my ex and her son to the centre but its a small price to pay. Money that would have been better spent on my boy.
But its never the end when you're dealing with intrinsically bitter people. I contacted my ex about what i should get my son for xmas. I don't know what he's got already. She already had my suggestion so I left it until the next day and asked if she had any other suggestions. Cue a nasty message saying not to bother..he had all he needs but she'l have 100 quid for her oil bill and how big of me it was not have given her it already. I did say I would help her but I decided not to after her poor attitude the last month or so. Before the previous court date.. back in Nov we were getting along ok during supervised visits and I offered her more financial help. I got a load of nappies, milk etc and said I'd give her 100 for oil from a freelance job I was doing in a few weeks. This is on top of the 165 I pay her each month. Since then we had court, mediation, I was blocked online for nothing, she wouldnt give me her dads number to arrange contact, her father was abusive, they broke the order, tried to guilt trip me for pointing out their error, and I was ignored 3 times when I tried to keep in touch with her and asking about my son. And I'm the one with the problem for not giving her more money after that??? Who really cares about my boy here? Just watch out... and never react. Chin up mate.
Agree, i hope you get to see her soon.. Your ex don't realise how lucky she is to have a man who actually cares and wants to be a dad to his child... x
