Another sex life thread . Please tell me it gets better

[Keyval]

It just feels like I'm Never gonna want it again . I have no interest and can't get in the mood . I don't even liked being cuddled or kissed . If i had my way I'd sleep in a different bed to my OH as I love my space at night . saying this I know that I love him and want to be with him so it's not that . We had a great sex life before LO and even At the start of my pregnancy but a bleed put our sex life on hold . I ended up with a third degree tear after LO and I was very reluctant to have sex after the idea of it was horrible . I did get over that and we have done it numerous times . But I can't get in the mood at all I do enjoy it while we r doing it though . We have had to use lube which we never had to before also . It's very frustrating as it is a strain on the relationship . I can't blame LO because she is so good and sttn. Does this get better or is it gone for good

 

[lemongrass]

Mine hasn't returned yet but I know that it does! Having a baby makes it really hard to get frisky. You just can't shut off the mom part of your brain, you're always thinking how your baby is doing 24/7 and as soon as lo pops in your head its a mood killer. But eventually your hormones will settle down, you'll ovulate again and I'm hoping that we'll learn to turn off mommy brain for a small chunk of time.

 

[Keyval]

Yeah I think of her 24/7 and it doesn't help hah

 

[Keyval]

Bump

 

[socitycourty]

me too. i just don't want to. doesn't help that lo won't sleep on her own

 

[Samiam03]

Trust me it will come back! With my son for the first year I was just not wanting it...wasn't in the mood and then every time we did it, it hurt like hell. At the 11 month mark, my period came back and along with it, my sex drive came back with a vengeance. I ended up pregnant again because of it.

I'm the same again where sex just isn't comfortable, I am like the Sahara, and after a day of being nonstop touched by little hands...I want to just be left alone. At least this time my husband doesn't mind because he knows it won't last forever.

 

[dlj2]

Same here just no interest, feel generally knackered and unattractive so it's the last thing I'm thinking of, but saying that I really miss the closeness with my husband periods and I think ovulation have been back a long time for me so sadly that didn't have an effect.x

 

[chulie]

I hope you don't mind...I just posted my response in another thread so I'm just gonna copy and paste what I wrote..I hate the idea that women are hard on themselves over something they have no control over...anways...here's what I said about sex..the first year after baby:

Have no fear...what your experiencing is totally normal and you can blame it ALL on hormones....can't remember where I learned this but..it all goes back to our maternal instincts...as a woman...we "instinctually" want to have children (I know not everyone agree with that but...it's true...some just shut off that valve due to personal life experiences)....that's why in our 20's we are as horny as can be...because our bodies have the urge to get knocked up! hahaha...we just shut that down with birth control....but instinctually...it's there.....once we GET pregnant...our bodies hormonally know this so we switch from "knock me up" mode....to " nurture" mode...because we now just want to nuture the new life that's here....now we're kinda in momma bear mode because we just want to watch over and protect this life that's here.....our bodies are no longer interested in sex because basically we got what we needed! hahaahhaa.......so we're using our OH basically....hahahaha.....Its perfectly normal to go through this stage for awhile......

 

[Arisa]

yeah i feel for you, it took me awhile to get back in the mood and actually want sex, i really wanted to be "in the mood" so to speak about two months PP when my birthday was and since LO was early i thought it would be nice to book a hotel and just hubby and me spend the night, but sex hurt like hell and i had a C-section, it was rough and i could not stand it, we used all sorts of lube and stuff, it only started getting better months Post partum actually once my sex drive decided to return, but you have to take it slow. I like having my hubby lay with me, but when i was pregnant i could not bare it, i think about sex with him alot because he is away until may so yeah its different but its still taken a long time, i mean hell i am 10 months PP and LO does and did give us enough time to DTD when she slept so i guess its a matter of just letting your body adjust and your sex drive. good things take time unless u want to try some herbal sexual enhancers lol