Another wave of baby fever!

[LynAnne]

With planning our wedding this year I haven't suffered too much from baby fever up until now. I feel as though I've officially been WTT for two years and I can quite easily see DH not wanting to TTC for at least another two. I feel to ready to take the step into motherhood that the thought of waiting much longer is eating me up inside!

It doesn't help that now with the wedding and honeymoon over it feels like the most natural step in our relationship. We've been together nine years and living together for three so it is not as if I'm rushing into anything. We might not be as financially sound as we would like but I'm not sure that we ever will be. We would definitely be able to make do.

Why is it that so many of us have to work to our partner's schedule for TTC? And why does baby fever suck so bad?!

 

[KalonKiki]

The answer is simple: hormones. Men don't have those evil hormones that make us women desperate for a baby, and that is quite possibly the greatest flaw in the human design. Unfortunately our technology is so advanced that birth control is now an option, so men can have the best of both worlds: sex with the most minimal possibility of getting pregnant. It's great for women and couples that don't want to get pregnant, but really sucks for those of us that do want to get pregnant.

Have you tried asking your DH why he doesn't want to start trying right now? If you show that you do care about his feelings on the matter you may more easily be able to reach a compromise on when to TTC.

Good luck and I hope that you and your DH can come to an agreement that you can both be happy with soon.

 

[LynAnne]

Hormones are awful! I've spoken to DH on several occasions over the last two/two and a half years about working out a timeframe for TTC but I've had no real success. He just doesn't feel mentally ready for it but I honestly doubt he ever will. I don't think I'll ever even be 100% ready to have a child but sometimes you've just got to jump in a bit, right? I know he also worries a bit about finances. We manage but it does mean that we don't get many luxuries for ourselves. I'm okay with that. I grew up not having everything under the sun whereas money wasnt so much if an issue so he was used to getting the new games console, holidays etc. Since moving out of his parents house he hasn't been able to afford the same luxuries and I think he'd still rather spend money on that.

It's so difficult to remain patient when my body is telling me that we should be trying now. It's even worse feeling like he holds all the cards. I don't blame him for not being ready - I just wish he was. It also worries me that we might put of TTC for another couple of years and then struggle for a couple more to actually get pregnant. Personally I don't want to be having my first child about 30!

 

[KalonKiki]

Have you expressed your concern about age to him? He may feel like he has all of the time in the world because he doesn't really have a biological clock, but he needs to understand that you don't have that kind of time. If you don't mind me asking, how old is your DH?
I hope this doesn't make me sound like a bad person, but you could always tell him that you're going off of birth control and if he doesn't want to get you pregnant then he needs to start wearing condoms instead. I've known this to work for a few women because after about a week or two of condoms their OH's no longer cared about using them, so they ditched the condoms and started NTNP. Lol

 

[LynAnne]

He turns 25 next month. I know that in the grand scheme of things we are both still young but I don't want to be starting my family at 30, especially when I'd like three or four children!

I'm not on birth control and never have been so we've always just used condoms. Therefore it's not exactly as if I can convince him to give up using them - we've been using for seven years. We talked briefly about ditching the condoms occasionally in August. We did so one (twice?) but my AF was late that month (to do with stress of wedding day) and I think it terrified him I was pregnant and so we've been back using condoms consistently ever since.

 

[KalonKiki]

Aww, well I'm sorry that idea is a bust. Unfortunately men still feel like college students at 25. My DF is turning 29 in November and is just now starting to realize that he's not that young anymore. Lol, the perks of having a partner that is nearly 6 years your senior, he's ready for a family right around the same time that you are. I'm turning 23 in a couple of weeks, we had our first little surprise baby when I was a month away from turning 22, we were only 7 months into our relationship when we got pregnant, but now we're a family, have been together for over two years and are getting married next June. DF is also really excited to start trying for a other one as soon as we reach our WTT goals (get married, finish my medical billing and coding certificate and get a job, and save the money that DF wants to).

Don't worry, even if it takes a couple of years those years will fly by. Who knows, your DH might come around to the idea sooner than later. Is there anything that you've always wanted to do or a hobby that you've always wanted to pick up? Do you have any pets? If not then a pet can be a great way to make you feel a little less broody. We got a new kitten while we were WTT the first time around and if we hadn't had the "happy accident" that led to DS then she could have easily helped me get through those months of WTT that we had originally planned for. Now is a great time to discover new things and make some dreams a reality. It's harder to do those things after you have a baby and if you have to wait anyway, why not? You can take a class for something or learn to play an instrument. You could try new recipes in the kitchen or do some arts and crafts. Read some life changing books. If you fill this time with new and exciting and interesting things to do then it will go so much faster and you will be so much happier waiting and feel so much more patient.

 

[jamiet33]

I get it totally. We got pregnant on accident last year and I lost it the same week we found out. Ever since I have really wanted to be pregnant, even though I am not really ready to start a family. We are getting married May 2016 and I am hopeful that by then he will be ready to start trying & that I will be fully ready to be a mom. I feel like were just too young & we need to have a real life before I should even be thinking about this. So ill be almost 23 when we get married & DF will be almost 26. Hopefully the wedding planning will keep the pregnancy fever away for a while.

 

[tverb84]

Today it felt like my baby fever was higher than the past few days. Mainly because a neighbour up the street had her second baby recently and on Saturday I bought a onesie at Target.

 

[LynAnne]

I don't think it helps that my nephew is turning one soon and there's no little baby in my life any more. Of course, that's not the only reason but I think it's maybe why the baby fever is so intense at the moment!

Jamiet33: Wedding planning helped to take away my baby fever. There was so much going on and a lot of stress surrounding the wedding that I didn't even have the chance to think about babies! It's only now that it's over that baby fever has hit me full force!

KalonKiki: We already have a dog and she's definitely enough in the pet department for us for the time being. As for hobbies, amongst other things, I blog which helps to take up a lot of my free time and gives me something to focus on. I've spent the last two years WTT filling up my time with hobbies and experiences and, honestly, I can't think of anything that is really left on my list now! Just babies!