Antenatal classes- what to expect & how many people are you able to take with you?

[Ghost]

I was just curious as I have my first of two classes this evening. To be honest I'm a little nervous as i dont know what to expect and I'm quite a shy person and am not too great at group things. My other question is how many people are able to come to the classes usually?. My classes are nhs led if that makes any difference. The reason I ask is that I am still living at home so should I go into labour and the early stages I will probably be at my parents house. It would be helpful if my mum knew what to expect or what she can do to help. She's been at births before but not been to the classes. My partner also works so If I go when he's in work then it'll take a good fourty mins before he's at my side. My partner obviously is the other person I'd want. If I had to pick between which one to come to the classes it would be him as he doesn't really have a clue about the whole process, he thinks its just like it is in films and won't watch birthing program's with me. He's had a nose at my books about birth but I'm scared ill throttle him if he's not supportive . The problem is with both of them is they are coming from two different veiwpoints; ie if I'm in agony my mum will help me get whatever birth drugs I need , whereas my partner has already told me he disagrees with me having gas or epidural for the baby's sake. Which I appreciate but I'm terrified as I'm really not the best when it comes to pain and I need for both of them to support me. Ideally I'd love for both of them to come to the class but I don't nhs will allow it?. Advice please , this pregnancy is really frying my brain.

 

[iwantabub]

I didn't do classes but I know here u only take one person with you... Just take a breath for a moment... How far are u from the hospital? If closer then 30 mins then chances are your mum or oh would only be there for moral support which is most of what they teach at the classes anyway... They teach u how to breath and labour and then all the baby stuff too... I don't think there's too much for your other half to learn so it really doesn't matter.

Have whoever makes u feel comfy... Also in regards to epidurals and drugs tell your oh to take a hike... If u want drugs and need em don't ever be ashamed or feel u can't... He doesn't have to do it... Kick him square in the balls and tell him ur gonna do it every ten minutes and he can't have any drugs... Most men think different after that hahaha

Good luck but just try and relax... Stressing is only gonna make things worse.

 

[Mum2BKW]

if I'm in agony my mum will help me get whatever birth drugs I need , whereas my partner has already told me he disagrees with me having gas or epidural for the baby's sake. Which I appreciate but I'm terrified as I'm really not the best when it comes to pain and I need for both of them to support me.

I think it usual to bring one person as your 'birth partner' to the classes, but you could always call and check if it's ok to bring 2?

Personally though, I suspect your partner may pay more attention if it's just the two of you there. With your Mum there he may assume that she is paying attention and that she can deal with the 'difficult' stuff while he holds your hand or sits in the corner. If you want him to really focus and feel like he has a big role to play in the birth it might be best to just go with him.

Besides, your Mum has given birth before, right? So she should remember how most of it goes. Perhaps give her one of your books to read so she can get up-to-speed with the latest info.

 

[smokey]

First off tell your oh he can disagree all he wants but unless hes prepared to have his nuts put in a vice with no pain relief and you get to tighten it every contraction then what you use is up to you
Gas n air has no effect on the baby, not sure about epidural as iv never had it.
With my last antinatal classes only real resteiction was no children, this one has said women only which I think is silly but I dont plan on going this time.
Phone them and ask if you can bring both and explain why, they may be fine wirh it but it normaly depends on how many are booked in for it.

 

[Ghost]

You both have some good points, thanks for posting. Yeah my mums given birth before but she had a really tough time of it and was pretty much out of it when it came to the main part. She had preclampsia and it got so bad my grandmother had to decide who the doctors would save. However I will give her a book like you suggested, just so she knows what more of the modern techniques or procedures consist of. It just makes me kind of sad a before I fell for my partner I always told my mum it would be us two doing all this stuff. When she was pregnant she never went to any classes and my grandmother was her birth partner as my dad wasn't being responsible at the time. Luckily he grew some *ahem* and took on his responsibilities the next day. The labor ward ill be on doesn't allow two people until your in full labour annoyingly. So whilst I'd want my mum to be my birth partner I still want my partner to know what's happening when he is there. Unfortunately the hospital nearest to me is only midwife led and I have to go to a consultant led ward which the nearest is about 40 mins away and is renowned for its god awful parking/queuing. I was down there for a scan the other day and it was over an hour in the queue before we could park. Just thank goodness I can hobble out of the car and scream murder if I'm in labour so they let me in lol.

I do think its a good point that my partner might not paricipate or take attention if my mother is there. He does have a habit of stepping back when shes about, I don't think he realises I need both of them for support not one or the other. My mother is my best friend and she's always been there for everything I've needed help with. My partner I love with all my heart and he's there now but my partner thinks sometimes it has to be one or the other. His family aren't as close so I don't think he can comprehend it. I agree with you when it comes to the pain releif before. I've told him outright bugger what he thinks is right pain releif ways , I'm having what I think I need , our little ones not coming out of him!. Just don't want him to be awkward on the subject.

 

[Jinbean]

Hey sweetie! Both my mum & OH came with me to my 3 NHS run antenatal classes. Then when I went to the Breast Feeding class we could take our partner with us and then the Active Birth class it was just the pregnant ladies only. The reason behind that was just the room size for AB class wasn't big enough for more people.xxx

 

[Nic64]

I have done the nhs baby care class and if I'm honest I didn't really find it that useful, I am expecting my first and I don't regret goin but if I had had a child I would not of found it the least bit useful! So I wouldn't say ur mum would be missin anything! However my other half did quite enjoy it and said he found it quite useful!! We have labour and birth this weekend! Hopefully that'll prepare me more xx

 

[SparkleUK]

Hi Ghost!
I did 2 antenatal classes in the physio section of the hospital and I loved them.
I took my mum. My partner and my mum will both be my birthing partners but I just feel like mum will be the most use when I need it, whereas OH is squeamish and prob will annoy me!!! He is on vending machine duty!!
The class covered all sorts of topics that I found so interesting and valuable and we got a tour of all 3 units. I figured my partner will be fine finding the low dep unit on his own, however my mum is 65, and not a confident driver so I really wanted her to visit the hospital with me to get a feel for it so she didn't feel out of her comfort zone!