Any FTMs worried about labour?

[Angel1990x]

Hi all,

I know it sounds so stupid, but I'm a FTM and I'm starting to get very svared about my impending labour ... it seems no amount of reading is helping me understand or calm down ... is it normal to be this aanxious about it all?

I dont have any particular problems expected, my little miss is a normal size, healthy and happy, and other than the fact i have a little bit of anemia there doesn't seem to be any issues, im just so nervous and scared ... i think its knowing the pain I'm about to go through, after all ... this is no small thing we are about to do ...

I'm fed up of been answered by friends with "oh you'll be fine" especially male friends when i voice my fears, my OH is just as worried as me ... he says he just doesnt want to see go through all that pain ...

i will be talking to my midwife about the fact im getting scared i just wondered if im the only one whos like this?

thank you x

(P.s I'm still excited to have my little girl here!!)

 

[Pens]

You're definitely not alone. I'm really worried about something going wrong and recently I've been having nightmares about something happening to the baby during labour and I wake up nearly in tears I'm also worried about how much I'm going to be able to cope with and getting to the point where I feel like I can't do it.
I just try and think about that it's what our bodies are made to do and everyone always tells me that when I have my baby in my arms I'll forget about it all. I'm really excited to meet my little girl too xx

 

[jennie22]

Im a third time mum and im still scared and both my labours were fine 100% normal to be anxious as labour approches. Keep telling yourself as a woman your body is built to do this. Trust me if it was that bad i wouldnt be here 3rd time lol.Good luck xx

 

[smileyfaces]

Totally normal to be scared! You will look back on it as the most wonderful experience of your life though, so although it hurts a hell of a lot, it is such an amazing experience too!

Also, dont forget there are tons of options for pain relief if you feel as though you cant cope with the pain. Hugs

 

[Angel1990x]

Thank you ladies

Made me smile to see so much support, and alittle calmer knowing its normal to be worried. Xxx

 

[jennie22]

Its amazing how quick you forget the pain when they hanf you your baby infact you feel like superwoman lol x

 

[Milliemoo x]

Hi, I'm due the day before you!! Its my second but I'm still really nervous (think its quite normal) i live in derby now and notice ur in notts. Feel free to pm me if u wanna chat anytime chick - we can reassure each other thro it hehe x

 

[Geo2]

I'm actually more worried this second time than the first, even though the first time was fine and went really well, despite being very long. I think its totally normal to be bit worried, we know what to expect, listening to some birth affirmations is helping me stay positive and focussed and reading hypnobirthing again really helps with any fears and allows you to trust your body, maybe give that a go?

 

[SurpriseBub]

I'm not scared about labor... But I am terrified of something going wrong between then and now. I guess we are all just getting nervous?

If Baby is ready, I would love to go into labor any time now!

 

[lauzacookie]

Im floating between ecstatic i finally get to meet bub to scared silly about the what ifs and how long and painful labor will be.... i definately want epidural.... but most women do it so thats a reassuring thing... is till dont know if im going to need a c section or not seeing doctor tommorow so should know more then......

 

[Angel1990x]

Im so glad I'm not the only one worrying ...

i did feel like such a silly idiot!

doing abit more reading up, it is just a case of trusting that my body knows what to do ... and asking for an Epidural

 

[londonangel]

I'm a second time mum but not looking forward to it either! I had a horrid experience last time and had to have my placenta manually removed - yuk!

Fingers crossed this time - overall I'm trying not to think about it ;-)

Just remind yourself that it doesn't last for ever and some people have a good experience. It does hurt unless you are really good at using hypnobirthing techniques (I'm not!) but I think the degree to which it hurts probably depends on the person and there are various techniques (or drugs!) to help you manage the pain.

Good luck and don't worry, you will be fine

 

[redneckhippy]

I wasn't too worried until my last appointment when I learend baby is posterior which makes for longer and more paiful labors. I'm hoping he will turn, but I'm much more anxious about it now.

 

[mummytobe_93]

I'm pregnant with my second and I'm more scared this time than I was the first time. Just believe me ignorance is bliss!
I had awful back labour with my daughter, it was agony, but once it was over and I was cuddling my daughter it was so worth it

There's no point worrying about what you can't change, labour is called labour for a reason but you get the best prize at the end of it x

 

[Monzter79]

I'm not as afraid of the pain. I am in "natural birth" classes and hope to go without meds, but I'm not opposed to having them if it's what I feel I need. I do trust my body and I also know for a fact the hospital has more drugs than I'll have pain. So, I'm not too afraid of that part.

I'm anxious for the health of my baby, and when he comes- I don't want people grabbing him or being rough with handling him. (unless it's necessary for his safety)

I'm afraid (as a multi-abuse survivor) that my experience may be very triggering and psychologically traumatic. I'm worried about my care providers not understanding that I need them to explain what they are doing and why, and (if possible) give me an opportunity to consent to whatever physical contact they need to have with me and baby. It makes me feel extremely vulnerable, very guarded, and a little aggressive- if I'm being honest. I don't want random people coming and going. I need them to give me as much modesty as possible. And I likely need an all female staff. I probably will request a lot of space and I need it to be respected. Though, I do realize that in an emergency situation all of that goes out the window. The health of baby trumps all, of course.

That's the stuff I'm most worried about. I have no doubt that it will be a difficult process (that's birth!), but it doesn't need to re-traumatize me. I know it could, and thinking about it upsets me.

My hospital has a birth plan worksheet that I'm supposed to fill out. I really don't know how to broach the topic and ask for what I need, without delving too deeply. I'd rather not delve... But, I don't want them to think I'm just being a diva, or a crazy bitch. I'm still trying to figure out how to steer things in a direction that will work best for me.

Other than that... no worries at all!!

 

[Leo_Mumma]

I'm also a FTM and go through phases of being cool, calm and collected in my head and then times when I get super anxious about it all. Im just trying not going into it with any type of "plan" as I find I try and over organise everything. I'd be writing a list if I could lol. I also keep saying to myself that I'm built to do this!