Any mommies of ADHD kiddos??

[Schraderswife]

Hello, my question is at what age where they "diagnosed" vs what age did you know something wasn't right? My son will be four next month and has always been a challenge from day one for differing reasons but in the last year (but especially six to seven months) it has become increasingly apparent. I have done so much research on ADHD that I feel like I could get my PhD and I feel 99% confident this is Jonah's problem. His dad and I have both had so much of a struggle wondering where we went wrong parenting wise to make him behave so awfully but now that we have read the books and researched it, we both feel relieved (as terrible as that sounds!!) that there is a medical reason for his behaviors and that there are methods we can use to help him!! We have changed how we deal with him tremendously and that has given us some positive change but there are still certain behaviors we need so much help with. When we originally went to his pediatrician she told us we weren't paying enough attention to him since he is the middle of three boys and that we need to take a parenting class. We got into a very heated debate because she never asked any questions, tried to talk with Jonah, or even got a background on him and she eventually gave us a referral to a specialist, who we go see in two weeks. Jonah has a heart of gold but absolutely NO impulse control. I'm so tired of people telling me he is just a hyper kid, they don't live in our house and see what we see. I can't turn my back for a second because he is always getting hurt from doing something like jumping from the top of our 18 stairs or trying to close the lid on the grill when it was lit. (He ran up behind me and I never even saw him coming, I didn't let him wander around it.) I have kept a journal for our appointment and I literally have hundreds of pages of bahviors, symptoms, etc. I guess I am scared of them telling me he is too little to diagnose when I know that they now can diagnose it as young as 4. I'm not necessarily asking for meds or an "easy fix" but I need some help finding the best way to handle his behaviors to keep him and his brothers safe!! Can anyone tell me about your ADHD kids or when you noticed he/she was different?? (Please don't think I am just a mom who has nothing better to do than try to play dr with my own kid, I just want to get him help before I have to throw him into school where I know it is setting him up for failure at this point. He is NOT a typical toddler and this isn't normal developmental behavior).Thanks so much for reading ladies!!!!

 

[taylor197878]

i noticed when zack was around 2ish knew he was alot different to my other kids but cause he was my first boy i put it down to them being different, it was when he was 3 i really knew something was up i did keep saying to the nusery and they brused it off i just knew it wasnt till he was in p1 when the school agreed and we went through all the channels he has just been dignosed a few weeks ago with adhd he has just started his tabets,

 

[Schraderswife]

Thank you for the response!! I am so tired of hearing people tell me he is too young for me to say there is something wrong. We go for an appt with a social worker, a pediatrician, and a speech/occupational therapist on the 17th but we don't get to go see the psychologist until Novemeber!! I don't know what the treatment will be but our family is at our wits end trying to cope.

 

[AimeeM]

Hiya my 8 year old has been waiting on a diagnosis since being 6, it is expected that he will have the diagnosis in the next few weeks. We have been told he has it, which it obvious we're just waiting for it in writing.

I knew something wasn't right for before age two. He has autistic traits and they thought he may have Aspergers, he also didn't speak till after 2. He was under the paediatrics from 4 and CAMHS from 6 but it is a very long process as they have to do all they can first to try see that they don't have ADHD. Only when all else fails they see psychological services.

A specialist at 4.5 told us that my son may have ADHD rather that ASD but it most likely wont become very apparent till around 8-9 years old. Boy was he right. I thought it was bad before but now everyday is a constant battle.
In the past year the ADHD has become more apparent and the autistic traits are being covered more by it.

I totally understand how you feel. NO one can even begin to understand unless they live with a child with adhd. It is constant. It pisses me off when people say all kids are hyper. I really wish they could have him for a day and come back and tell me it's normal.

Yes having no control over his impulses is a major part, hyperactivity beyond belief but he's also really badly inattentive. It is genuinely like talking to a singing, dancing brick wall. No form of discipline will ever work!

I don't know if it is different in the states as you pay for healthcare so maybe it is quicker but in the UK it is far too long to have to wait for help

 

[taylor197878]

It can take ages took ages to get Zack diagnosis, .what we did was we went to.the doctor and they referred us and we got a app with the doctor who deals with it, seem.him a few times then we did a Conner report once that did u get the diagnosis not long after that.

It can be very hard and draining, Zack has started tablets 10 Mg but he is still.much.the same I think they need upped,

 

[Schraderswife]

Oh my lord i cringe at the thought of having to wait until he is 8 or 9 to get treatment!!!! He is just getting raedy to turn 4 and already day ot day life is a battle. We rarely get to go anywhere as a family let alone do any of us get a day of peace, Jonah included. You hit the nail on the head--he is like talking to a singing dancing brick wall. That is exactly what Jonah is. And spitting and blowing bubbles, and running and jumping. I got an eliptical a few weeks back and he will literally get on that thing and run and run. At first I thought that is a great way for him to burn some energy to maybe calm down!! But it almost seems like it winds him up more. I can't get him to leave his hands off his brothers or to quit yelling at the top of his lungs so no one else can talk at all. My husband and I literally have to take our phone calls outside because no one can ever hear us inside. He plays drums on his little brothers head every time he sees him or tries to tickle everyone, even guests he barely knows. He refuses to make eye contact with anyone and when grandparents, aunts, etc ask for a hug he just keeps running. He comes off as so rude and unloving because he won't hold still long enough for a hug, cuddle, etc. (I know boys arent always cuddly creatures, i have two other boys....I don't want anyone thinking I have unrealistic expectations.) But at the same time a quick hug is something he should be able to do!! I really hope someone can help us so we can maybe go somewhere as a family again. It is causing so much stress in our family for everyone and I am petrified to start him in preschool. Man this turned into a long rant and all I wanted to say was THANK YOU to you ladies for showing me I am not the only mom who goes through this!!! Sometimes I feel so so so alone because most of our families think ADHD is an excuse to let your kid be a brat.

 

[Schraderswife]

AimeeM--I just noticed you have three boys as well?? How do you handle the balance of them all with the ADHD?? or does it not cause that much of a problem for you/them?? I feel like so often I am dealing with Jonah that the other two get so left out and that makes me feel even worse as a mom! I feel like I have a list of people telling me what I am doing wrong but not one person can tell me how to do it "right"!! I am just exhausted and I want to enjoy being a mom again instead of just feeling like I am doing my responsibilities. God this makes me sound absolutely awful but I just have to get it out of my head before i explode!

 

[ClairHawkins]

Hi you have my full sympathy it is sooo hard to live with I know

I just wondered if any of you had tried eye q oil?? I used it for my son from7 - 11 yo and it really helped us my pediatrician prescribed it its basicly high dose fish oils, it comes in tabletform (difficult for littler children) or a medicine form that tastes disgusting but can be "Hidden" in favorite foods.

This doesnt stop any of the behaviour it just seems to slow it a little bit Other people still thought he was a nightmare but to me he really did improve especially at nighttime he slept better.

Also I bought a pop up tent (childrens one) and used that for time out as adhd / asd kids are over stimulated and this helped him calm down, I just used to put his fav toy in with him for when he calmed down eventually he used it by himself when he was getting wound up.

There are lots of teqniques out there that can help just keep looking and reasearching thats all i can say really, my son was eventuall diagnoded with PDD/ borderline aspergers/autism/ adhd and tourettes and dysphraxia at 11 yo he is now 16 and sitting his a levels. we are very proud of him he tries so hard and has overcome great odds so its worth all that effort x

 

[andella95]

I just wanted let you know that I am in the same situation as you are. My son just turned four this week, and we have a referral to a child psychologist, but haven't been able to schedule an appointment yet.

I was very fortunate that when I addressed it with our pediatrician, he agreed that even though it is supposedly "normal" to be overly active at this age, that my son is far "worse" (I don't like that term) than most children his age.

I have suspected ADHD as well, and have been on meds for it in the past, and I recognize a lot of his behaviors.

Please keep updating us on your son, as it is helpful to me to have someone else in the same situation.

 

[Schraderswife]

Andella, I hope you get an appt soon!! I don't wish what we are going through on anyone else!! I would love to hear your "story", what you guys deal with! it would be great ot have someone to vent to!! If you ever feel like it, give me a pm!!

I am nervous as heck that the appt on Tuesday will go badly and they will just say we are bad parents.......

 

[AimeeM]

AimeeM--I just noticed you have three boys as well?? How do you handle the balance of them all with the ADHD?? or does it not cause that much of a problem for you/them?? I feel like so often I am dealing with Jonah that the other two get so left out and that makes me feel even worse as a mom! I feel like I have a list of people telling me what I am doing wrong but not one person can tell me how to do it "right"!! I am just exhausted and I want to enjoy being a mom again instead of just feeling like I am doing my responsibilities. God this makes me sound absolutely awful but I just have to get it out of my head before i explode!

It's not an issue yet with the youngest as he is only a baby but for our 2 year old his is already learning behaviour from our oldest. The oldest winds our two year old up so much it is awful. It leads to constantly trying to discipline him to no avail. I am hoping DS2 does not have ADHD and that when he is older the appropriate discipline will work for him. Although DS2 is very hyper active I don't think he does have Adhd as he isn't showing the same signs as his brother did.
No one tells me I am doing anything wrong but I do feel as though they think I over exaggerate. They can not understand the full extent that it wears you down. I think that professional help is the only way toward maybe getting it 'right'' as I think without it more likely it will only escalate more and more until adulthood when the damage has already been done xx

 

[Schraderswife]

Just an update....we went to our appointment with the specialist yesterday and it went fabulous!! They asked us every question under the sun except for how many squares of toilet paper we use but they were extremely thorough and very non-judgemental!! We saw several different people and they all agreed he is 100% ADHD. He IS young but there is no question. I talked to them about my reservations with stimulants with him being so young and they agreed. They started him on an antihypertensive and we just started it last night but we already saw an entirely different kid today. They told us it could take a couple weeks to see results but I am so encouraged that we see some changes already!!! We got him set up with some therapies and special services also so I am literally on cloud nine for our whole family. I hope that everyone else who deals with this has as good of an experience with it as we have!!

 

[louisechippy]

Hi there ,y son if nearlly 9 and we have had a dianosis since he was 5. he also has ODD and a few other conditions the can run along side ADHD .... he has been medicated since he turned 6 and has just had his medication changed as it had stopped having an affect.
Now we are involved with SENCO at my sons school and she gave me an AMAZING website which gives alot of information as alot of ppl are highly mis-informed about ADHD. as people think that the medication is there to simulise the brain less when infact yes it does this but the child needs stimulation too!!!! this website is WWW.ADHDANDYOU.CO.UK
I have found this website so helpful and hope it can help you guys too xxx

 

[AimeeM]

Just an update....we went to our appointment with the specialist yesterday and it went fabulous!! They asked us every question under the sun except for how many squares of toilet paper we use but they were extremely thorough and very non-judgemental!! We saw several different people and they all agreed he is 100% ADHD. He IS young but there is no question. I talked to them about my reservations with stimulants with him being so young and they agreed. They started him on an antihypertensive and we just started it last night but we already saw an entirely different kid today. They told us it could take a couple weeks to see results but I am so encouraged that we see some changes already!!! We got him set up with some therapies and special services also so I am literally on cloud nine for our whole family. I hope that everyone else who deals with this has as good of an experience with it as we have!!

This is fabulous, so happy for you. I wish the UK was as easy as that!

 

[andella95]

Just to let you know, we did schedule my son's appt and it will be on May 15th.

I didn't want to call and make the appointment, because I felt ashamed like I was a bad parent as he is only 4, and also because he is on medicaid. They were very nice and helpful when I called.

Keep us updated on how the hypertensives are working!

 

[Schraderswife]

Andella, we are Medicaid also so I can relate!! My husband is self employed and I stay at home so we don't have any insurance so this is the best we have for now. But I know how it feels to have to say the "M" word when they ask if you have insurance!! But don't be ashamed!! You are trying to do what's right by your son and there is NO shame in that!! I am soooo glad you finally got your appt!! May seems like so far away when every day is a struggle to say the least but I kept telling myself, we are walking towards the light at the end of the tunnel!!

I am literally in AWE of what this medication has done already. I asked Jonah to go get in bed last night and he said okay. I about pissed myself....any other night he would throw himself on the floor, he would throw things, whine, scream, slam doors, find a thousand things to do instead of actually getting in bed and I didn't get any of that! He still wakes up loud as a train but the running has slowed down, almost stopped!! He still jumps and claps but he isn't screaming constantly and always in all of our faces. He sat down and ate an entire bowl of spaghetti without me having to get after him once and he randomly came up and gave me a hug! He still took his seat belt off and wanted to walk around in the van and still got pretty wound up when his brother came home from school but I am just in shock at this child in my sons body!!! He is only on the pill once a day for now and we move to twice a day after a week so I am just ecstatic to see the progress he makes!! (His speech has also improved, his words are so much clearer. I could literally just kiss his doctor!!) I hope the very best of luck at your appt Andella and I hope and pray you can get some results also. I hate that so many parents have to struggle for so long before anyoen takes them seriously.

I read an article on ADHD yesterday and a doctor quoted, "Making a child wait to use medication until he/she is older is like making someone who is nearsighted to wait a few years to get glasses."

 

[AimeeM]

Hows things going for you? xx

 

[Schraderswife]

I am noticing small improvements....I just feel lost as to what to do medication wise. He has about 10% less behaviors, but when he does, they are meaner. He is a lot more grouchy and irritated more easily. Not to mention, he is extremely tired during the day. it has helped obviously with the insomnia at night but during the day, he walks around like a zombie with huge rings under his eyes. I put a call in to his physician but they said it could be 48 hours before we get a response (which would be tomorrow.) I knew meds were going to be a nightmare but I just wish I knew what the "right" one was! I'm a little nervous about what the doctor will say to me!! Anyone else had issues with meds????

 

[AimeeM]

I hear a lot of medicated kids become trance like, could you try a smaller dose?

 

[Schraderswife]

He is already on the smallest dose it comes in and they have me giving him only half of the pill so I'm not sure it can go any lower.

Do any of you ladies know of any chat rooms or boards that are visited a little more often for mommies of ADHD kiddo's?? Talking to you ladies is wonderful but not many people seem to be on here very often. :/