Any other first time Mom's afraid of ZERO sex life???

[aliss]

Some men ARE freaked out by the bump and that's okay - you're almost done anyways. Mine was also scared of it - we were at it 3 weeks postpartum (easy delivery).

Learn to do it elsewhere if the baby is in the room (we are too loud hah). The couch, the kitchen, the CAR, have fun. And quality over quantity. You'll appreciate those moments more after instead of taking it for granted.

 

[britgirl82]

People have sex after having a baby - how else do you get siblings...?

Seriously though, your sex life will be different since there is someone else in the house all the time. But you get through it - you make the most of nap-time or cartoons It's clearly important to you, so you'll make the effort. Heck, drop the baby off at the MIL's for an hour or two and run straight back to bed!

Don't be concerned though if your sex drive DOES take a nose-dive after baby. I didn't want any sort of sexual contact for weeks. Looking after a baby is very physical (cuddling, BF etc) and once the baby was in bed the last thing I wanted was yet more touching to be honest. But it all came back in its own time (hence why I'm currently bouncing on a ball desperate to get #2 out !).

 

[YouandMe]

Some men ARE freaked out by the bump and that's okay - you're almost done anyways. Mine was also scared of it - we were at it 3 weeks postpartum (easy delivery).

Learn to do it elsewhere if the baby is in the room (we are too loud hah). The couch, the kitchen, the CAR, have fun. And quality over quantity. You'll appreciate those moments more after instead of taking it for granted.

Thank you for this! Sometimes I feel like people criticize husbands who get freaked out by it, like they are being so unreasonable! Would I ever have guessed my hubby to be this way? No, never. But I can't imagine being angry at him for his feelings, or making him feel like he's wrong to think that way. I'm carrying this child and even I feel that way every once in a while. It's hard to get into the mood when you feel little one going crazy in there! It's like having a threesome you never asked for hahaha

I just miss it, and him. I know in the long run we'll get better at this, and if we're lucky enough to have a next time maybe we'll both be more comfortable with it, who knows.

I do think we'll have to learn to take time whenever possible once baby gets here. You're right quality over quantity is probably a good way to look at it.

 

[ecavey]

We're exactly the same!!! we've done it a bit but i'm never really in the mood and feel too sensitive and he's fine with saying 'it's not for ever' bla bla which is true but i do worry as i think sex is important!

my question is, even when you're ready to do it again after the birth, how do you do it when the baby is sleeping in the bassinet right next to the bed?? do you just do it? or wheel him out for a bit??

 

[skeet9924]

I'm so glad you posted this as I feel the exact same way as you!! Oh and I barely have had sex since I've been preg...I experienced several losses ( one mc actually coincidently started during sex) and oh and i were both very cautious during first tri...I was also put on pelvic rest. Then second tri we tried but my sex drive was very low...now as I'm ending my pregnancy I'm longing to be close to him !! I'm so lookin forward to resuming our sex life i just hope baby doesnt put a damper on it

 

[minties]

Try not to worry! Our sexlife is fantastic right now, we jumped right back into the sack when Sophie was 11 days old. He didn't enjoy sex at all both pregnancies but was fine after each baby was born. Sex has this delicious urgency to it now, it's fun!

 

[aliss]

my question is, even when you're ready to do it again after the birth, how do you do it when the baby is sleeping in the bassinet right next to the bed?? do you just do it? or wheel him out for a bit??

I think wheeling the baby out works a bit better for most. Some guys (mine) are freaked out by the baby sleeping right beside (a very young baby will probably sleep through it). If a guy is freaked out, his performance will go flat (hah). With our first, we would put him in his bassinet and just wheel it outside the door for x amount of time, then bring him back in after. He had no idea. With our 2nd, we can't do that b/c #1 wakes him up! So we go downstairs and have couch sex

 

[aliss]

Some men ARE freaked out by the bump and that's okay - you're almost done anyways. Mine was also scared of it - we were at it 3 weeks postpartum (easy delivery).

Learn to do it elsewhere if the baby is in the room (we are too loud hah). The couch, the kitchen, the CAR, have fun. And quality over quantity. You'll appreciate those moments more after instead of taking it for granted.

Thank you for this! Sometimes I feel like people criticize husbands who get freaked out by it, like they are being so unreasonable! Would I ever have guessed my hubby to be this way? No, never. But I can't imagine being angry at him for his feelings, or making him feel like he's wrong to think that way. I'm carrying this child and even I feel that way every once in a while. It's hard to get into the mood when you feel little one going crazy in there! It's like having a threesome you never asked for hahaha

I just miss it, and him. I know in the long run we'll get better at this, and if we're lucky enough to have a next time maybe we'll both be more comfortable with it, who knows.

I do think we'll have to learn to take time whenever possible once baby gets here. You're right quality over quantity is probably a good way to look at it.

You're welcome! It's harder to deal with when it's your first, because you are facing the "unknown". With my 1st, I found this very hard, took it personally, felt unattractive, etc. But with my 2nd, it was much easier, because I knew things would go back to normal (well, parent normal).

As someone said on here once, in late 3rd tri, sex is like a manatee on xanax. So, what times you have, make them quality and make them count. You can also do other things, even if it's just for his enjoyment & to show a bit of love

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

I miss sex

 

[skeet9924]

I have a feeling if my oh is freaked out about having sec with the baby in the bassinet we will just move him to the crib earlier.. I know oh wants him in the crib right away anyways.. It's me who wants him beside the bed just until I get used to having to get up a lot.. Oh will need his sleep because he has to work

 

[lily28]

People have sex after having a baby - how else do you get siblings...?

Seriously though, your sex life will be different since there is someone else in the house all the time. But you get through it - you make the most of nap-time or cartoons

True true!

My dog used to stare at us from extremely short distance and then get bored and sleep next to us, while at it.
Sometimes he would even lick my knee or toes or do stupid stuff to get our attention, and that was pretty distracting lol. He was always bored though, and usually left us alone.

 

[TatorMom]

I was worried when I was pregnant with our first. I was pregnant with DS2 when DS1 was 3mos old though, so clearly we didn't have any issue. I will say we don't have sex as much now with 2 kids, but still at least 1-2x week and sometimes much more. It's a lot more fun though, and definitely more spontaneous. This baby was conceived in a family restroom in a movie theater on vacation in FL, when DH and I were on a date. Grandma and grandpa stayed back at the condo and beach with our kiddos, so it was a perfect opportunity. I don't feel like we've lost anything in terms of our sex life. Everyone is different though.

 

[laila 44]

Popping in from 1 st trimester to offer some advice as a second time mom. Trust me, your sex life after baby is what u make of it. For us, we had sex like 2 times while I was pregnant with dd ad after she was born, things went right back to exactly as they were!We had lots of sex and lots of fun. My dd slept 13 hr nights from 5 months old so we had plenty of time lol. Don't worry, life doesn't end after baby, it gets even better

 

[skye93]

I'm not a 1st time mum but DH was very worried about us never having sex once Lo was here. However having our son made me feel more in love with him, closer to him and that made me want sex with him more! It can be hard at first- tired parents, no guarantee that baby won't wake up at the most inopportune moment. But after a little while when baby is sleeping for longer periods of time- and hopefully both parents are too!- you will be able to find lots of opportunity to be intimate

Eleanor is exactly right, I've finally stopped bleeding and feel ok to get back into it again. We've dtd twice this week