Any Second Time Momma's afraid they won't love bubba #2 as much as their first?

[finallyready]

I am pregnant with #2 and DH and I couldn't be happier! However, lately when I look at my DD, I can't help but think of just how much I love her and how awesome she is and because I love her soo soooo much, I wonder if I will love this baby as much as I love her. Anybody else share this fear or am I just crazy?

 

[Jslyn9996]

I think its super normal! I do think that too.. But know as time goes on and I experience everything I did with my son I will fall in love just as much!

 

[W8ing4ours]

I feel the same way! Looks like our LOs are the same age too! I keep telling myself I will love this new baby as much, I'm sure, but I can't imagine it. My daughter is my entire world, I don't know how I could have the capacity to love another baby that much. I think a lot of people feel like this though, plus I think the more pregnant we become the easier to envision it will be.

 

[Phantom]

I'm expecting number 2 and it's not that I'm worried I won't live him or her as much, I'm worried that my first will feel less loved because I have to split my time between the 2. I'm scared I won't be able to meet both their needs.

 

[bookworm0901]

I feel more like Phantom, but also I worry that I won't *notice* #2's milestones as much.....I don't think that makes sense. Let me try to explain.

With my son, I spend all my time with him and I notice every single thing he does- every new word he says, anytime he's done something for the first time I've been a witness and so excited. I know him more than anyone could possibly know another person, I feel like I even know what he's thinking at times. But I worry that I'll be sooo busy with him that #2 won't get that same attention and will get overlooked more.

 

[x__amour]

Sometimes I wonder how will I be able to love someone like I love my daughter but I just remember my heart will expand.

 

[Sarah lo]

Dounds crazy but it worries me a bit that I might love the new baby more than #1. I love Olivia to the moon and back but she was a high maintenance baby who grumped her way through the whole of her first year and she's been an uphill struggle ever since. So I just have this fear that what if the new baby turns out to be an easy baby who feeds well, goes to sleep easily, laughs, doesn't have separation anxiety etc... and I end up preferring them?!

 

[MissRhead]

Sometimes I wonder how will I be able to love someone like I love my daughter but I just remember my heart will expand.

That's a lovely way of putting it
I sometimes feel the same you're not alone x

 

[Natnee]

I feel the same. This has made me cry just thinking about it! I'm not worried that I will love the new baby any less, but (this is crazy) that in order to love him/her aswell it will mean taking some away from Belle. I know it does sound silly and I know I won't love her any less AT ALL, but it's just a silly thought I have about it.

 

[LaDY]

Like some of the other mummys said...im a little worried that my son may feel left out when baby number 2 comes...I have already made plans in my head on how we are going to prevent that from happening! Im just hoping it works out as planned xx

 

[SillyMoo1983]

I'm just worried about how my DD will be. I want her to feel just as loved as she always has and I want to make sure she still has plenty of attention. I don't want her to change as I love her more than I thought I could possibly love anyone. My mum says that when the second one comes along, the love you have doubles. That sounds amazing. Having twice the love we already have feels like my heart would burst with love

 

[EarthMama]

Yes...a little bit. I'm afraid of this especially if I have another boy. Not that I wouldn't adore and cherish another lil guy. But I just feel like it's hard for me to imagine loving another lil boy as much as I love him. But I'm sure I will.

 

[Flower15]

I have so many worries like this...

To be honest I think it's our job as a mum to worry and feel guilty. I think I'd feel more worried if I wasn't scared how loved both of my children will feel as being conscious of it will ensure I do everything I can to make sure both children live happy and fulfilled lives. Glad im not the only one who feels this way though x

 

[twinmummy06]

A mothers love doesn't divide, it multiplies

It might be a scary and overwhelming thought now, but everything will be ok.

 

[AC1987]

I worry more that my LO will feel unloved I also feel like I expect her to grow up now.. but shes still small in my eyes, I still feel like she is my little baby

 

[Mii]

Yes...a little bit. I'm afraid of this especially if I have another boy. Not that I wouldn't adore and cherish another lil guy. But I just feel like it's hard for me to imagine loving another lil boy as much as I love him. But I'm sure I will.

im worried about this too. And I think its one of the biggest reasons im praying for a little girl this time.

 

[Starry Night]

I worried about this too when I first started to TTC#2 and even when I got my first positive hpt. But then I lost that baby and realized how much my heart grew to accommodate a new love. The love for your oldest won't decrease and neither will your second suffer. Your love simply grows.

 

[FeistyMom]

I'm expecting #4, and I've gone through this with #2 and #3, and I'm feeling the same now.

From worrying about loving the new LO as much as the older ones, to worry about neglecting the older ones, to worry about playing favorites subconsciously, to whether they will get along, to whether I will have time to really ENJOY the childhoods, and about whether I'm pushing my oldest to grow up too fast (she is an amazing helper, and has been since I was expecting #2).

I let myself have time to think through the worries, and try to separate the ones I can do something about (spending quality time with each child and making sure I *really* know them inside and out, what they like, don't like, etc) versus what I can't (will they get along?). Definitely helps me feel better if I just accept the worry and then focus on addressing what IS controllable.

As a PP said, I think the REAL concern is if we didn't worry!

 

[Leids]

Yes! I definitely worry about this. I also worry that it will be difficult to meet the needs of both, and that my son won't feel as loved as he does now since I won't be able to give him as much attention. It will break my heart if he ever acts out.

I'm sure that my love will just grow and I'll do everything I can to make sure LO feels included in everything.

 

[finallyready]

Awe! thanks for all the honest and heart warming responses. Glad to see I'm not the only one. I'm sure my heart/love will multiply, I just find it hard to imagine thats all. I guess been so early in this pregnancy, I still haven't let it truly sink in yet. I don't get an ultrasound until 20weeks so even though I've had a positive test, it still doesn't quite seem real. I also struggle with pushing my first to grow up too fast. She is still in a crib and not potty trained, and Now I am suddenly feeling like we should be potty training her and getting her a big girl bed. Anyways, it will all work out.

Appreciate all the responses!