Any tips for surviving a baby shower?

[Kaylakin]

Hi all,
I just got an invite to a friend's baby shower in a few weeks. I really want to go for her, but the more I am plugging along with this TTC and assisted conception stuff, it gets harder and harder to attend baby-related things. I am going to really try to make an effort to attend. On the other hand, I'm in self-preservation mode and I've been trying to avoid things/situations that make me feel crappy. Does anyone have any tips for surviving a baby shower without wanting to leave crying/screaming? Lol. Any advice is truly appreciated...

 

[Springy]

Hi all,
I just got an invite to a friend's baby shower in a few weeks. I really want to go for her, but the more I am plugging along with this TTC and assisted conception stuff, it gets harder and harder to attend baby-related things. I am going to really try to make an effort to attend. On the other hand, I'm in self-preservation mode and I've been trying to avoid things/situations that make me feel crappy. Does anyone have any tips for surviving a baby shower without wanting to leave crying/screaming? Lol. Any advice is truly appreciated...

I have had to go to 2 so far and will have another 2 to go to this year. When I went last year I used to think about what my shower will be like and envision myself opening the gifts. It's hard but you have to force yourself to go and stay positive while you are there!

 

[1hopefull]

haha, yeah, don't go.

seriously though. i know lots of LTTTers that just put themselves first and don't go. if they go, they end up a mess. do what is right for you. if she is a true friend, she will understand (enough).

i am not at that point now, but i think if i was in the future, i would not go.

 

[Mrs. Bear]

I had one the day after my last BFN. If it hadn't been such a close friend I probably wouldn't have gone. If you decide to go, my advice is to volunteer to take pictures (or some other duty that will keep you occupied). That is what I did. That way I had a little distance from things. I could still be there but wasn't sitting there trying to appear 'fine' and having to oooh and ahhh over all the baby stuff.

Do what is right for you.

 

[sheilarae07]

Since TTC (25 months) I have attended about 28 baby showers!!! I just have such a love for all babies that I go in with a big smile on my face. The hard part is late at night after the shower. It isn't easy but I just think about the pretty little baby.

 

[KimB1980]

It is difficult - especially if people know you're ttc as you get the pitying looks when they think you're not looking.
I just thought that theyre not taking anything away from us - I honestly think that some things are sent to try us and a lot of people would not have the strength to go through lttc & assisted conception.
I know it may seem easier for me to say that as we are an ivf success but while we were ttc I became an Aunty 3 times (one of them I was my sisters birth partner, which looking back I really don't know how I got through), a godmother and about 15 friends have had children.
Good luck to everyone ttc and keep faith in whoever or whatever gives you hope. X

 

[Kaylakin]

Thanks everyone for your responses. It is interesting to hear everyone's different perspectives. I do try to remember that other people's situations have nothing to do with my own, and I shouldn't let it affect me...but it does nonetheless.
Springy- that is a good thought - to imagine how it would be for you at the shower. I wonder if I'd be able to do that; it is worth a shot.
1hopeful - When you say you're not at that point yet, do you mean you're not at the point where it would upset you to go to a shower? Just wondering..I agree with putting yourself first though if you have to..
MrsBear - that sux! I don't know how you did it after the BFN. See, I think at the point of the shower, I'll be in the middle of the 2WW so I may be in a better state of mind than at other times...
Sheila - 28 showers??? That is insane...and I definitely could NOT have done that! I give you credit..
Kim - I completely agree about some things are sent to try us, and I would hate the pitying looks. My friend who is having the shower doesn't even know that I have been LTTTC or had a m/c or anything. I don't want her pity either, because it is hard for her to understand if she hasn't been through it. Some people would never be able to handle all of this I think, but then I never thought I'd be in this situation either, so I guess you just do what you have to do.. :sigh:

Well, thanks for the feedback..I really do appreciate it..

 

[readyformore]

That's tough. I would really tend to not go, unless this person is VERY close to you. . . but that's just me. I really respect people that can go to those while LTTC with assistance and still keep a positive attitude. I was ready to kill someone.

While I was going through my IUI with my first, I had to go to a shower of a very close friend (1, not 28. that's crazy). It wasn't horrible because it was a shower given by friends from work, so I knew everyone and had lots of diversions. If you go, try to keep yourself occupied or maybe bring a friend if you don't know anyone (might be a bit tacky, but oh well).

Just as another suggestion. This friend of mine, I couldn't stand to listen to her talk about her pregnancy, but I wanted to be supportive, so I knit her a baby blanket. You can still be supportive and thoughtful, and not go to the shower.

Good luck.

 

[summer40345]

It's hard maintaining and being happy when your feeling so down. I also tend to keep busy, either with food or facilitating a craft with the shower so I don't have to be consumed with the little details and watching the opening of gifts. Best of luck to you and keep your head up!