Hi all. This is a bit long but I need help!
I'm posting this in here and the third tri section, as i'm not sure who/where it covers best.
My daughter is 3.5yrs old and has been going to nursery since she was 6 months old, she never had separation anxiety, and has always been the kid that runs off to play without even saying bye.
We moved house a year ago, and she moved nurseries, she settled fine, and again was the one that ran off to play, even the carers commented on how well she settled and how fast.
Then it all went down hill about 4months ago, I was 5 months pregnant, and had a really bad virus, she picked up on it and kept asking if I was ok. I explained mummy had a cough but i'm fine etc, but I think she thought the baby was making me poorly.
From then on she started getting a bit clingy when it came to going in to nursery, but only once or twice a week.
Then I started maternity leave, and it escalated, she asks why she has to get washed and if it's to go to nursery she starts crying saying she doesn't want to go, so then it's a battle, she'll get dressed but use every delay tactic possible.
This morning she laid on the floor crying refusing to put her shoes on and then wouldn't walk to the car. Again with the delay tactics, like she's thirsty, she's still hungry, she hasn't finished lining her ponies up, she wants to watch the end of the cartoon thats on etc. This is now a daily basis.
Then when we get to nursery, she hides behind me at the door and hangs on to my top, she won't go in, or walk in front of me and won't let go of my clothes, until one of the carers, has to physically prize her off me!!
Then I get the crying, and her holding her arms out to me, crying mummy, usually i'm strong give her a quick kiss and leave, but today (i'm now 41wks) i'd had enough and burst into tears as well!
She didn't see, though as I think that would've made it worse lol, the carers were really nice and said they'd keep a special eye on her, but I know she's fine once i'm gone, when I pick her up she doesn't want to leave as she's playing!! I can't win
I bumped into a friend as I was going down the drive, (Tears and snot pouring down my face)who was dropping their LO off as well. they text to say she was fine and laughing and playing, this was literally 2minutes after I left! It's not just me though, as my husband gets the same reaction when he takes her in too.
I guess i'm just after a light at the end of the tunnel. Did anyone else find the arrival of a baby, disrupted a normally happy sibling? And how long did it last? What did you do to help things? The baby coming himself she seems fine with, she asks if he can sleep with her, she tells everyone she's a big sister now, she talks to and rubs my belly, she plays music for him and asks if he's dancing. So i'm sure that side of things she's ok with.
I've tried explaining mummy and daddy need to work.
I've tried being tough and ignoring the tears at home. And I've tried giving her cuddles to console her and remind her she enjoys it once she's there. I've tried not going in with her and having someone take her from the door, but she got savvy to that and now hides behind me at the door instead. I walk away as soon as someone takes her off me (which makes me feel awful) and i've tried again consoling her at nursery (which really doesn't work)
I thought now im on mat leave I could drop her days down, so she only goes 3 days now and not 5, but that seems to have made it worse, as she's off Friday-Monday, so come Tuesday when it's time to go back, it's a major battle from the word go!
I need help
I'm posting this in here and the third tri section, as i'm not sure who/where it covers best.
My daughter is 3.5yrs old and has been going to nursery since she was 6 months old, she never had separation anxiety, and has always been the kid that runs off to play without even saying bye.
We moved house a year ago, and she moved nurseries, she settled fine, and again was the one that ran off to play, even the carers commented on how well she settled and how fast.
Then it all went down hill about 4months ago, I was 5 months pregnant, and had a really bad virus, she picked up on it and kept asking if I was ok. I explained mummy had a cough but i'm fine etc, but I think she thought the baby was making me poorly.
From then on she started getting a bit clingy when it came to going in to nursery, but only once or twice a week.
Then I started maternity leave, and it escalated, she asks why she has to get washed and if it's to go to nursery she starts crying saying she doesn't want to go, so then it's a battle, she'll get dressed but use every delay tactic possible.
This morning she laid on the floor crying refusing to put her shoes on and then wouldn't walk to the car. Again with the delay tactics, like she's thirsty, she's still hungry, she hasn't finished lining her ponies up, she wants to watch the end of the cartoon thats on etc. This is now a daily basis.
Then when we get to nursery, she hides behind me at the door and hangs on to my top, she won't go in, or walk in front of me and won't let go of my clothes, until one of the carers, has to physically prize her off me!!
Then I get the crying, and her holding her arms out to me, crying mummy, usually i'm strong give her a quick kiss and leave, but today (i'm now 41wks) i'd had enough and burst into tears as well!
She didn't see, though as I think that would've made it worse lol, the carers were really nice and said they'd keep a special eye on her, but I know she's fine once i'm gone, when I pick her up she doesn't want to leave as she's playing!! I can't win
I bumped into a friend as I was going down the drive, (Tears and snot pouring down my face)who was dropping their LO off as well. they text to say she was fine and laughing and playing, this was literally 2minutes after I left! It's not just me though, as my husband gets the same reaction when he takes her in too.
I guess i'm just after a light at the end of the tunnel. Did anyone else find the arrival of a baby, disrupted a normally happy sibling? And how long did it last? What did you do to help things? The baby coming himself she seems fine with, she asks if he can sleep with her, she tells everyone she's a big sister now, she talks to and rubs my belly, she plays music for him and asks if he's dancing. So i'm sure that side of things she's ok with.
I've tried explaining mummy and daddy need to work.
I've tried being tough and ignoring the tears at home. And I've tried giving her cuddles to console her and remind her she enjoys it once she's there. I've tried not going in with her and having someone take her from the door, but she got savvy to that and now hides behind me at the door instead. I walk away as soon as someone takes her off me (which makes me feel awful) and i've tried again consoling her at nursery (which really doesn't work)
I thought now im on mat leave I could drop her days down, so she only goes 3 days now and not 5, but that seems to have made it worse, as she's off Friday-Monday, so come Tuesday when it's time to go back, it's a major battle from the word go!
I need help
