Anyone been refereed to CAMHS?

[topsy]

Just wondering If anyone`s child has been referred to them? We were a week ago DS isnt getting on so well at school hes still on half days.

He has get really angry and upset sometimes when he is asked to do something-runs off, throw toys, kicks door

He has "temper tantrums" at home sometimes when he is asked to do something or is asked to sit on the naughty step ( after 3 warnings) but these are getting less and less where at school something happens most days

Anyone experienced this?

xxxxxx

 

[noon_child]

I know a fair few children who are referred to CAMHS but they are VERY stretched as a service and unless there is a real risk of serious mental health issues (or they are particularly well funded where you live) then you probably only see them once, maybe three times and then they'll close the case.

I think your child is very young to have been referred - we are only 5 weeks in to his first ever term at school for heavens sake. Obviously if structure like school is new to him he's going to test the boundaries but I think it is also important to remember that anger can be a sign of anxiety. I think it is normal to be anxious about starting school, and while I think it is a good thing that the school want to make sure they aren't dismissing his behaviour (that they want to get to the bottom of whether there is a high level of anxiety going on) I can't imagine they've had much time to implement many changes themselves or see what is working and not working for him. They are supposed to think from the point of view that schools sometimes cause problems for kids, not that kids have something wrong with them which then cause more problems for schools.

Are you and him happy on half days or do you think it unsettles him further?

Has anyone spoken to you about what works to calm him down at home, what discipline you use etc. Have you had a chance to talk to the SENCo, as this was almost certainly the person who did the referral, about what they have tried to put in place to make his transition to school easier, other than half days (which can work but often is chosen because it is easiest for the teacher and other pupils, not because it is best for the kid - plus not everyone is able to financially accommodate having their child home when they were expecting them to be in school).

To give the school the benefit of the doubt, they're obviously not wanting to brush it under the carpet and perhaps they have made the CAMHS referral now because they know the waiting list is huge so its a "just in case" it hasn't settled down in a few months time.

How is his speech and language at home? Do you know if he's the same in class? Sometimes working on effective communication can be useful when it comes to behaviour issues as tantrums etc. are just ways of communicating and processing emotions. All this can be discussed with the SENCo.

 

[topsy]

Thanks for the heads up hun xxxx

Hes been to nursery ( 2 1/2 days a week since he was 9 months old) so he used to some structure-But its obviously very play based. He had a behaviour plan at nursery as his temper tantrums and meltdowns were out of control at one point-every hour, but he settled down again after he turned 3.

I was in hospital ( a psychiatric unit myself) when he started school, but have been out for 4 week, not sure if this has anything to do with it. I have carers and it could be any 3 of them ( and me most days if I can get out of the house who take him in) but its me who picks him up bar a Friday-as I go to slimming world so my parent pick him up/ With me being ill since he was born, PND psychosis, Depression, anxiety BPD he has had a lot to cope with.

I do wonder if the 1/2 days are easier for them than him! But don't like to say so. I like him doing half days in a way as we get to still do nice things in the afternoon- we went skating yesterday. But I just want whats best for him. I don't work so it makes no difference to me if hes at school or at home-I mean that in a ni8ce way I really just want whats best for him.

Yep we told the teacher "time out" on a naught step works at home and that's what they are doing at school, as he calms down at home within 10 mins ( it used to be a lot longer) so they take him out of the classroom and into an office. They are trying coping techniques like he got angry yesterday when asked to come in and the teacher told him to push on the wall-which he did and they said he calmed down.

He did seem very tired so we have moved week day bedtime from 7.30 pm to 7pm and he's getting up for 7.30 am which gives him an hour to have breakfast and get ready for school-He wont be rushed in the morning! If you do rush him he gets very grumpy.

Yep I totally understand CAMHS are under pressure and was thinking maybe the best thing is to get the ball rolling!

The SENCO teacher has been in when hes had tantrums and helped then and I spoke to her at the school disco last week about our time out.

His speech and language is fine ( as far as I know-I used to be a nursery nurse for 10 years so know a little about it and hes the same as his 4 friends all within 6 mo9nths of each other) and they say it good at school and socially he plays with other children and communicates with them well-he has friends both in and out of school.

He just doesn't like adults telling him what to do! He just seems to want to do his own thing-This was apparent at the disco 95% of the other children joined in holding hands and games, while DS was in a corner running round and around, I went and asked him to join in so did 2 teacher the SENCO worker did to. Then just before we had to leave 10 mins or so before it all finished he joined in and was dancing with 3 other girls holding hands with them! Its like he will do things but in his own time!

Sorry for the long winded response as you can tell I am worried about him.

Thanks for reading. xxxx

 

[noon_child]

He just seems to want to do his own thing-This was apparent at the disco 95% of the other children joined in holding hands and games, while DS was in a corner running round and around, I went and asked him to join in so did 2 teacher the SENCO worker did to. Then just before we had to leave 10 mins or so before it all finished he joined in and was dancing with 3 other girls holding hands with them! Its like he will do things but in his own time!

I think it is perfectly normal for a child to not want to join in with others and do their own thing, I wouldn't be worried about that at all. My LO used to have some anxiety issues (partly genetics partly learned behaviour from me even though I tried really hard) and would always just watch what everyone else was doing till the last 5mins of every activity (or sometimes not join in at all).

Sounds like you have both gone through a lot in a short space of time. Just want to give you and . I can imagine that he will have been affected by your absence (my LO's behaviour gets worse, not much but I notice, on days when her Dad is just working away overnight - she knows he always comes back but I think it still causes anxiety) and maybe CAMHS can help you work with him on any residual issues.

Good Luck!