Anyone considering, or are using, Donor Eggs?

[LadyK]

Just wondered really if anyone had any thoughts/comments/advice on this? It's not a route we are at yet, but I like to know what all of my options are, and I'm not sure how I would feel about this if it were the only route left. I think the over-ruling factor for me is that I do really want a baby, and having one via donor eggs is better than not having one at all! But I realise there are a lot of emotional issues around this, and also practical ones, as I think getting donor eggs isn't that easy, and costs even more than normal IVF. Just wonder whether anyone had any experiences to share?

Thanks!

 

[KJMM]

Just wondered really if anyone had any thoughts/comments/advice on this? It's not a route we are at yet, but I like to know what all of my options are, and I'm not sure how I would feel about this if it were the only route left. I think the over-ruling factor for me is that I do really want a baby, and having one via donor eggs is better than not having one at all! But I realise there are a lot of emotional issues around this, and also practical ones, as I think getting donor eggs isn't that easy, and costs even more than normal IVF. Just wonder whether anyone had any experiences to share?

Thanks!

Hi LadyK - I'll a little further on than you on the ED journey.

After 2 missed miscarriages and 1 failed IVF, we have been told ED is our only chance. We were given low statistics of IVF working (5-10%) but better than no chance, so we tried but on 12/8 we got that dreaded BFP. My AMH is 1.6 (very low) but have a normal FSH and coz got pregant twice before my clinic thought there was a chance ...

The statistics increase considerably for ED compared with IVF using own eggs - there is a 45 to 50% chance compared with 5-10%. I really hope this works, like so many other ladies on here, I just cannot imagine a life without our own baby

I have done so much reading, I don't think I can do anymore. Everything depends on the donor egg, failure is nothing to do with the recipient as a uterus doesn't age. The process seems pretty straight forward i.e. for the recipient only 1 injection, tablets (in preparation) and then ... transfer.

I have been given a timescale already which is 4-6 months - which is excellent compared to other clinics (up to 3 years!!).

It would be great to share thoughts etc.

What stage are you at now...?

K

 

[urchin]

Hi LadyK - we are going down the donor egg route, but it is a very slow one, unless you have your own donor (or money is no object)

I have a donor, but she has 3 stone to lose before the clinic will consider her (donors must have a BMI under 30) so I'm thinking this isn't such a short-cut for me. I am also on the waiting list, but that is at least 3 years; sad fact is that there are very few egg donors. The cost is a lot more than regular IVF (as 2 women have to be considered and synchronised) - mine is costing around £6,000 ..... I am too old to be considered for NHS funding.

I'm not sure how long the waiting lists are if you go to a clinic and 'buy' your eggs - but the costs I've seen are huge.

This is how I feel about it though (in terms of the idea of a donor-made baby)
The donor supplies half the DNA, and that's it. The DNA is just the blueprint, but every fibre of that baby will be knitted from my own body. The DNA says 'put 3 of these here, and 2 of those over there' but it is my body that will be providing all of the materials and doing all of the building. This to me makes the baby 'mine' ...... if I built a house myself by hand, from the blueprints my partner and an architect drew up between them, I would still feel that I had built my own house...

not sure if that helps, but that's how I feel about it

 

[KJMM]

Hi LadyK - we are going down the donor egg route, but it is a very slow one, unless you have your own donor (or money is no object)

I have a donor, but she has 3 stone to lose before the clinic will consider her (donors must have a BMI under 30) so I'm thinking this isn't such a short-cut for me. I am also on the waiting list, but that is at least 3 years; sad fact is that there are very few egg donors. The cost is a lot more than regular IVF (as 2 women have to be considered and synchronised) - mine is costing around £6,000 ..... I am too old to be considered for NHS funding.

I'm not sure how long the waiting lists are if you go to a clinic and 'buy' your eggs - but the costs I've seen are huge.

This is how I feel about it though (in terms of the idea of a donor-made baby)
The donor supplies half the DNA, and that's it. The DNA is just the blueprint, but every fibre of that baby will be knitted from my own body. The DNA says 'put 3 of these here, and 2 of those over there' but it is my body that will be providing all of the materials and doing all of the building. This to me makes the baby 'mine' ...... if I built a house myself by hand, from the blueprints my partner and an architect drew up between them, I would still feel that I had built my own house...

not sure if that helps, but that's how I feel about it

Hi Urchin,

I completely agree with your thoughts on DE and what a great analogy using a house. It is exactly how I think and couldn't have put it better myself.

What a shame you have been given such a long time re the waiting list though. As I said in my reply to LadyK, I have been given a maximum of 6 months, but realistically it's more likely 4-5 months which is one of the best in the country at the moment - thankfully.

I have to say I prefer the anonymous route, but what a fantastic friend you have to donate. I am sure you can both help each other re the weight loss.

K

 

[urchin]

which clinic are you with KJMM?
are you UK based?

Must admit, the thought of only a 4-5 month wait would be fantastic just now

 

[LadyK]

Thanks for your answers KJMM and Urchin. Urchin I remember you from the CBFM thread in TTC. I have read some of your journal and was very sorry to hear of your m/c and all the troubles since then. I really hope that things start looking up soon and you can start the next step of your journey.

About me - I am 40 and a half and this morning went for embryo transfer at my Clinic. This is our second round of IVF. My FSH levels are fine (7), everything else is fine with me & OH, but we have unexplained fertility. I am feeling very despondent as this time round on IVF all we had at the end of it was one fertilized egg. Now I know that's better than none, but I haven't responded great to either attempt (1st attempt - 8 follicles, 6 eggs, 2 fertilized, BFN; 2nd attempt - 8 follicles, 3 eggs, 1 fertilized), and I fear that due to my age my eggs are just not good enough quality any more. The last 48 hours have been totally agonzing worrying whether we would even have one good embryo to put back. The Consultant had agreed to put back 3 to increase our odds but we can't even get 2! Just not sure I can go through that again! I know the chances with donor eggs are much higher, I did ask my Clinic about it and they have said their waiting list is approx 1 year (not too bad I suppose). I like to know what my options are, so I'm just kind of thinking well if this time doesn't work, we could put our names down now, then have 1 more year of trying naturally (and possibly more IVFs if we choose), and also in that time decide if DE is really a route we want to take. I picked up a load of leaflets etc in the waiting room this morning, and yesterday (when I was convinced we weren't even going to have 1 embryo to transfer) I looked up some info on-line, apparently you can go to weekend workshops (in Manchester & London) that go into things with a lot more details with stories from children born from donors and parents who conceived using donor eggs! The next London one that would be suitable is end Jan, so I might make that my next "milestone" in the "if I'm not pregnant by ..." timescale!

My Clinic for IVF is the Nuffield in Woking, they are very nice!

I love your analogy Urchin, very good! I love my cats like they are like my children, I would consider adoption (but again fear I am too old), I'm cooing over my 10 week old Niece like a nutter, so I'm quite sure that any baby conceived using donor eggs would be just as loved and cared for as if it had been conceived using my own eggs, especially as ultimately I would have carried it for 9 months and given birth to it. Anyway I'm just hoping that all of this will be irrelevant in 2 weeks time and our little embryo has continued to develop and I'm staring at a BFP in shock!

 

[KJMM]

which clinic are you with KJMM?
are you UK based?

Must admit, the thought of only a 4-5 month wait would be fantastic just now

Don't want to get into trouble (lol) advertising but I'll email you and send info. Don't forget that even though the one group/company has many different locations, sometimes these differ.

Being a newbie on here, I'll have to figure out how to email you ...

If I get nowhere I'll send you my home email

K

 

[KJMM]

LadyK,

It's a long journey this isn't it and staying positive on the 2ww is absolute torture I know, but as everyone says - you only need 1

Here's a little help



Stick, embies, stick.

Keep us posted and make sure you rest up.

Take care, K

 

[urchin]

I thought you looked familiar LadyK!
Yeah, I'm having a bit of an unsettling ride - but I keep on keeping on....all you can do isnt it when you want to be a mum so badly

Thanks for the info KJMM - i'll look into it and see if I might be able to cut my wait down by switching clinics xx

 

[LadyK]

which clinic are you with KJMM?
are you UK based?

Must admit, the thought of only a 4-5 month wait would be fantastic just now

Don't want to get into trouble (lol) advertising but I'll email you and send info. Don't forget that even though the one group/company has many different locations, sometimes these differ.

Being a newbie on here, I'll have to figure out how to email you ...

If I get nowhere I'll send you my home email

K

Can you send me the info too? Just in case!

 

[LadyK]

bump

 

[LadyK]

BFN & the witch arrived! F*ck it! Will be asking my consultant about donor eggs next time I see him

 

[FBbaby]

I'm so so sorry LadyK

 

[urchin]

sorry to hear that LadyK
I'm due on today as well - and I suppose a miracle is too much to ask for!

 

[LadyK]

sorry to hear that LadyK
I'm due on today as well - and I suppose a miracle is too much to ask for!

Thanks - hope the witch didn't get you too!