Hi. I've recently found out I'm pregnant and I'm now about 8 weeks and I'm terrified.
I was brought up in a Christian family and gave my heart to The Lord as a young child. I was an active church member, involved in everything.
I went away to a Christian music college ten years ago and somehow lost all focus. When I came back I wanted nothing to do with church or anything like that.
Just over three years ago I met my partner, who wasn't a Christian at the time but encouraged me to go back to church and he became a Christian and I rededicated my life back to God. Everything was going great until a family member stirred up some lies about my partners past and it totally turned my parents against my partner.
Anyway, we stayed together despite the fact my parents hated him and it's made things already complicated with them.
Anyway, we recently changed churches and started going where my parents are and really felt we needed to recommit AGAIN our lives to God, only this time, we really meant it.
Thing is, that very same week, I discovered I'm pregnant and I can't get excited a about it cos I feel so ashamed and upset.
I've no idea how to tell my parents, let alone the church. I can handle my parents being angry with me but cannot bear the idea of disappointing them AGAIN.
WHAT CAN I DO? This is supposed to be the most magical time of our lives and yet I'm angry with myself and terrified x
I had very critical parents as well. My dad and step mother (my mother died when I was 11) double teamed me over the phone to talk me out of marrying My DH. Then told me I shouldn't wear a wedding dress. I had to pay for my wedding on my own.
Later, a few weeks before he died (cancer), he apologized to me and said my DH was everything a father could want for his daughter. He said he was proud do me and said I had a good head on my shoulders. I had earned his respect despite disagreeing with him. His resentment had stemmed from having trouble seeing his little girl grow up. Plus he had been married and divorced so many times he probably feared I was going to be on the same path and he was miserable in his marriage. So your parents have a point of view where they may be getting their bias.
I learned that I had to make my own decisions and once I let go of that need to please my dad, I was much happier. I wasn't doing drugs or anything that really needed an intervention. I was living MY life. It's a painful decision to make but it's one when you really become an adult.
My point is, at some point you have to realize that you know more about what you need and want from life than they do. You may not ever make them happy.
Don't waste your life like that. It's your life, not theirs. They'll accept and respect your decisions.
So lay your burden down. It isn't yours to carry. That burden is theirs. Your commitment now is to your baby more than your parents and your baby needs a happy and healthy
momma.
Don't feel ashamed. Nobody has walked in your shoes and if they judge you, they are the ones sinning.
