Anyone else feel bullied because of your age?

[Abigail8673]

So I am 19, and 23 weeks. I got married at 18and waited till I was married to get in the bed room. it seems like everytime i go to any doctor they treat me like im an idoit. When i went for my ultrasound at 20 weeks the man saw my age and the asked me if i wanted my boyfriend, I said oh no thats my husband and he looked at me rolled his eyes and said... um yeah... ill go get your partner. I thought that was so rude!!! its like he either didnt believe or didnt have enough respect to be kind. im just not impressed i feel like people trample me because im 19 and the judge me. i dont think it matters if you 16, 18, 19, 24, or 39!!! your a freaking mother age shouldnt matter or make someone better then another.

 

[thecurlymama]

So I am 19, and 23 weeks. I got married at 18and waited till I was married to get in the bed room. it seems like everytime i go to any doctor they treat me like im an idoit. When i went for my ultrasound at 20 weeks the man saw my age and the asked me if i wanted my boyfriend, I said oh no thats my husband and he looked at me rolled his eyes and said... um yeah... ill go get your partner. I thought that was so rude!!! its like he either didnt believe or didnt have enough respect to be kind. im just not impressed i feel like people trample me because im 19 and the judge me. i dont think it matters if you 16, 18, 19, 24, or 39!!! your a freaking mother age shouldnt matter or make someone better then another.

I definitely feel the pressure about the age. I'm 16 and almost 23 weeks as well. I haven't gotten much disrespect or grief at any of my ultrasounds and my midwives are really supportive and accepting, but when making appointments at other places like getting my WIC checks or registering for online classes and stuff like that receptionists have definitely given me weird looks or started talking to me like I was a child. I'm committed to my boyfriend and we're responsibly planning a life together and for our baby boy. It's not fair for young parents to be judged or looked down upon for having a baby because of their age. If you are a responsible, loving parent it shouldn't mater how old you are. Plus, people like doctors should always be respectful and non-biased towards anybody's situation.

 

[jozylynn896]

When I went for my first ultrasound the lady looked at my age and was acting a total c*nt. But after she seen that I was not gonna let her be such a bitch towards my OH and I she quickly snapped out of it.
It bothers me when people look at me funny but I know its just a natural reaction from judgemental ignorant assholes and I grew used to it.
But what really pisses me off is when people treat me like an idiot. Like I don't know what a baby is. Like I'm gonna be lost and confused when I see the baby. Like I won't know how to carry him. Or clothe him. Like I don't know what a diaper is. THAT gets me mad.
Thank god the clinic in my neighborhood is so supportive and understanding of teen pregnancies. And the midwives at my hospital. They are so sweet and kind and treat every woman in there the same, regardless if they're 30 or 14

 

[thecurlymama]

When I went for my first ultrasound the lady looked at my age and was acting a total c*nt. But after she seen that I was not gonna let her be such a bitch towards my OH and I she quickly snapped out of it.
It bothers me when people look at me funny but I know its just a natural reaction from judgemental ignorant assholes and I grew used to it.
But what really pisses me off is when people treat me like an idiot. Like I don't know what a baby is. Like I'm gonna be lost and confused when I see the baby. Like I won't know how to carry him. Or clothe him. Like I don't know what a diaper is. THAT gets me mad.
Thank god the clinic in my neighborhood is so supportive and understanding of teen pregnancies. And the midwives at my hospital. They are so sweet and kind and treat every woman in there the same, regardless if they're 30 or 14

Totally! I talked to counselor at a high school about their daycare program (which I'm not doing because she was so incredibly disrespectful about teen moms) and it was so shocking the things that she said to me! I was asking if I could take a month off before I started to spend time with the baby and she scoffed and said "OH. Well do you really think that's the best choice? I think it might be better for teen mothers to come right back to school so their babies can be properly cared for in our daycare. I mean, you wouldn't want to miss credits or have your baby get out to a bad start now would you?" At that moment I was ready to cuss the lady out! It just seemed so ridiculous to say that to a pregnant woman! No matter how old a mother is, nobody should just suspect that she won't be able to care for her own child. Humans were made to care for each other- to care for babies! Sure, there is a lot to learn but it's especially offensive when people assume because we're teen mothers that we won't be able to offer our babies the right sort of care.

 

[jozylynn896]

Ugh what a bitch. I would have told her to mind her own business and answer my damn question!

 

[thecurlymama]

I was actually pretty shocked! It was for a teen pregnancy program, too!
I just told her I would definitely not be coming to a program with such little faith in young mothers. She scoffed again and said "Well that's too bad. I hope you and your baby are healthy and happy." in a really rude voice, then hung up.

 

[teenmommy15]

Yeah i feel that way all the time im 15 got pregnant a month before i turned 15 and i turn 16 this October my obgyn was a real bitch the first time i met her but after she realized what a responsible mother i was gonna be she was real nice and supportive but i get looks everywhere i go especially when i go shopping for baby stuff or a teacher or adult heres me and my friends talking about my baby its quite ridiculous that adults are so immature.

 

[jozylynn896]

What a ****, at least you told her something

 

[JJKCB]

i had that with my second midwife, she treat me horrendously (she was so old fashioned) wish i could of stuck with my first midwife she was lovely a used to dealing with younger people but we moved away

 

[xx~Lor~xx]

I'm 21 and about to have my third child. Yes people whisper, yes people comment. But at the end of the day, anyone who gets to know me or spends time talking to me quickly realises my children are my entire world. I am still with my partner, the father of all three of my children,and we have been together over 5 years. We moved in together BEFORE we conceived our first.

You just have to learn to hold your head up and ignore them, because at the end of the day they know nothing about you. People will always make judgments.

 

[Kutiepatuie]

I am almost 20 (less than a week) and 27 weeks pregnant. I feel constantly judged by everyone around me and have even had other expecting mother give me dirty looks while a what for my OBGYN!
It has worn me down through out my pregnancy and I often feel like I don't want to leave the house because of it.
It also makes going to university difficult because everyone is constantly looking at my belly.

 

[Kutiepatuie]

I'm 21 and about to have my third child. Yes people whisper, yes people comment. But at the end of the day, anyone who gets to know me or spends time talking to me quickly realises my children are my entire world. I am still with my partner, the father of all three of my children,and we have been together over 5 years. We moved in together BEFORE we conceived our first.

You just have to learn to hold your head up and ignore them, because at the end of the day they know nothing about you. People will always make judgments.

How did you over come people judging you? I am finding it so incredibly difficult.

 

[Vicyi]

I'm a bit 'old' now as I am 25 and expecting my third but I totally get where you are all coming from. I was 18 when conceived and 19 when i gave birth to DD1 and I got a lot of the 'looks.' Infact I still get them now with one nurse at my doctors surgery saying to me 'oh so many children at such a young age' I have been with my OH, father to ALL my children, for 9 years. He works hard to support us all and even got a degree at uni beforehand. Just because we are young mums doesn't mean we deserve to be treated any differently! X

 

[copesy]

Ive not been for any scans or even had my first appointment with the midwife yet but when I went to my GP after the positive test she said " I would strongly suggest you have a termination. Nobody would know and nobody would judge you then, you're only 19 and a baby is hard work its not like a little dolly that you get to play with, plus if you have a boyfriend how do you know he will support you through this? He'll probably leave once he realizes". I was so upset, and my boyfriend wants me to make an official complaint about her but I would rather just leave it and find a new GP!


If people want to spend their lives being so bitter and negative then they can, but they wont.be a part of my life if thats how they want to be!

 

[lizmageeful]

I definitely have felt judged, even if i havent been "bullied" exactly. I get glared at everywhere i go. When we went to City hall to get married, to do what we felt was the right thing to do before LO gets here, we got dirty looks. People suck sometimes.

 

[x__amour]

Nah. I would've never let anyone anything rude to me, I would've set them straight and fast.

 

[tinkerbelle93]

It's true you have to just get used to it. I've had to deal with bitchy doctors and midwives, and the occasional look from people but you just get on with it and grow a thick skin. It's still really annoying though and I can understand why some people get bothered, especially if you are quite self-conscious anyway!

I don't understand comments about babies being looked after properly in nursery or daycare though, not sure whether it's the same but over here a lot of the nursery workers in daycare are the same age as me! xx

 

[Firef1y72]

Although well out of my teenage years now, I was 18 when I fell pregnant with my eldest 22 years ago and had to deal with the prejudice then, including midwives that thought hyperemesis was a symptom of not wanting to be pregnant. The only way to deal with it is not let it get to you, only you can know how great a Mum you're going to be, not someone who's looked at your age and jumped to conclusions. (Of course you get similar prejudice once you get to the other end of the age spectrum as well, you should hear some of the comments I've got at 41)

 

[xx~Lor~xx]

I'm 21 and about to have my third child. Yes people whisper, yes people comment. But at the end of the day, anyone who gets to know me or spends time talking to me quickly realises my children are my entire world. I am still with my partner, the father of all three of my children,and we have been together over 5 years. We moved in together BEFORE we conceived our first.

You just have to learn to hold your head up and ignore them, because at the end of the day they know nothing about you. People will always make judgments.

How did you over come people judging you? I am finding it so incredibly difficult.

Honestly? I found it really hard at first. Then as my daughter started getting older, I knew she would start noticing if I made a big deal over someone looking over, or acted differently in public. I didn't want my children to pick up that something was different between us and, for lack of a better word, 'regular' mums. So, I just held my head up and ignored the looks or stares or whispers. Ultimately it's my children that taught me not to care and to get over it. For them, I keep my head held high and proud to be their mother.

 

[jozylynn896]

Lot you just explained that sooo perfectly.
I don't want people looking at my son like they're kids ate better than him because they were born to older parents.
I dont want him wondering why people look at mommy funny or why people whisper when we pass.
I font ever want him to think he is any less important or perfect than other kids.

Feeling like that really makes us really just not give a crap if people whisper.
I used to be kind of afraid of my bump. Luke if people noticed I'd be so embarrassed. But now I just do not care.
Shopping for my baby shower people looked at me like I was ridiculous and my mom was insane for throwing me a shower.
I just don't think our children deserve to be any less celebrated just because we're young.

Another thing, the longer you carry your child for and love them for, you get so defensive! Like a f*cking tiger! Lol