Anyone else feeling depressed?

[Mummy2Angel.]

I'm so confused and upset just now and debating whether to go and see doctor about it or if i'll just be wasting time

I had my dating scan march 29th and was told i had suffered MMC, had D&C on april 6th and stopped bleeding finally april 24th .

I have been going to see a miscarriage counciler for 5 weeks now and had 5 weeks off work, i went back this week but having been coping great , i'm just feeling so depressed still, i feel like i'm making myself ill, but i cant seem to help it?

I can go days when i eat and eat and eat even when not hungry, and then i wont sleep at all really and then i can go a few days without barely eating a thing and then i tend to sleep all the time, i feel like i'm falling into a viciuos circle and i dont know how to get out of it, i feel like i'm coping alone and no one understands. When i first found out i had those suicidal thoughts that according to my counciler 1 in 5 women who have suffered a mc have had, but i do generally just feel depressed now, i feel physcially and emotinally like i cant cope anymore like i'm fighting every day just to live, i very raerly get up and get ready unless for work, and i want to and try but i just cry and feel like i cant face the world. Part of me wants to go to the doctors and tell them i'm feeling depressed all the time and have been to a councileer and want some help but part of me thinks i'll just be chucked back out the door

I thought i was coming out to see the light at the end of the tunnel but now i'm feeling worse than i think i did before i just feel at a loss as to what to do next

 

[Beanbabe]

honey if you feel like you need more help then ask for it. Only you know how deep the feelings go, only you know how much its affecting you so therefore only you can decide if you need more help. No doctor worth anything is going to refuse to help you.

It is normal to feel like you are getting somewhere and then feel back at square one again. Perhaps you could ask your counsellor how they feel you are doing. Maybe they can see positive signs that you cannot, im not sure. Its still very early days for you but if you feel like you are sinking then go to your doctor.

 

[roonsma]

I'm so confused and upset just now and debating whether to go and see doctor about it or if i'll just be wasting time

I had my dating scan march 29th and was told i had suffered MMC, had D&C on april 6th and stopped bleeding finally april 24th .

I have been going to see a miscarriage counciler for 5 weeks now and had 5 weeks off work, i went back this week but having been coping great , i'm just feeling so depressed still, i feel like i'm making myself ill, but i cant seem to help it?

I can go days when i eat and eat and eat even when not hungry, and then i wont sleep at all really and then i can go a few days without barely eating a thing and then i tend to sleep all the time, i feel like i'm falling into a viciuos circle and i dont know how to get out of it, i feel like i'm coping alone and no one understands. When i first found out i had those suicidal thoughts that according to my counciler 1 in 5 women who have suffered a mc have had, but i do generally just feel depressed now, i feel physcially and emotinally like i cant cope anymore like i'm fighting every day just to live, i very raerly get up and get ready unless for work, and i want to and try but i just cry and feel like i cant face the world. Part of me wants to go to the doctors and tell them i'm feeling depressed all the time and have been to a councileer and want some help but part of me thinks i'll just be chucked back out the door

I thought i was coming out to see the light at the end of the tunnel but now i'm feeling worse than i think i did before i just feel at a loss as to what to do next

Hi mummy2Angel, i'm not really sure how to put anything into words to make you feel any better but i do know what you're going through as sadly so many off us do.

I can remember when i m/c last August at 10 wks feeling that the world had been knocked sideways, nothing was normal, i felt like my life was an act and i was going through the motions of living but not really being there if that makes sense? At one point my husband asked me if i'd ever begin to get over our loss and i honestly answered him no, never- but i have... i truly think time is a great healer and gradually you will start to feel "normal " again. Its normal to have days where you have a set back and fall apart aswell.You are grieving and need to give yourself time to heal.

Unfortunately i have had losses since which have been early and i've managed to cope better with these...........

I'm sure you will go on to have a healthy pregnancy one day when you are ready and i really do wish you all the best, i promise things will get better and if you think they're not then get help, speak to others on here i found that a great help to know others were going through what i was, and speak to your gp if you feel you may need meds to help, don't suffer in silence
Good luck xx

 

[debgreasby]

Go see your doctor hunni. I think i'm coping, but in all honesty, i'm not. Get some help hunni xxx

 

[Sparky67]

I spoke to the Counseller over the phone and she can't see me until the 18th May (I didn't even want the leaflet in the hospital after they told us, I really didn't think it would be that bad, but my husband took it). She did say that she can refer me on to comeone who can help if I feel that I'm not coping, ie a doctor, as well as the counselling from her. I have been to see my own GP though.

Please go and see you doctor and explain how you feel - they will not laugh at you or judge you, but they will be able to help. I went back to work this week after 2 weeks off, but ended up being sent home and I am signed off again. The doctor has said that I can just ring him Monday and he will sign me off again, no problem.

Whilst I'm pottering round at home I'm not too bad, but I am finding it hard to cope with life too - I can just about manage to have a shower, but other than that everything is just an effort. "Why bother" is my mantra! I can't face everyone just getting on with their lives like nothing has happened...

If you are having trouble weeks on, please see your doctor - there is nothing to be ashamed of, and it is nothing out of the ordinary. Don't let people tell you how you "should" be feeling...

It may just be part of the greiving process for you, but if it is depression proper then you might need a little extra help to put it right. Only your GP can be the judge of that, so please do at least make an appointment and see what they say?

 

[roonsma]

to you all xx

 

[Mummy2Angel.]

Thank you everyone for your advice and support

I'm going to give the doctors a phone tomorrow morning and try and get seen on tuesday. I thought i was getting somehwere its been about 6 weeks since my scan and 5 since D&C and i feel i should be over it by now? or everyone else expects me to be anyway but i'm not i just feel back to square one x

 

[Mamabel]

Hi everyone,

To those who are struggling emotionally, please Google and read up on post-partum depression. I believe I experienced it with my last two births (healthy daughters), but at the time, no one really knew too much about it. Thank heavens for Brooke Shields, because now the OB's are much better about identifying it. Well, your body is essentially post-partum even after a M/C, because of the hormone fluctuations. Plus, dealing with an emotional loss. You may need a little help with medication to stabilize the seratonin levels in your brain. There are several that are just fine for nursing mothers and even if you are going to try to conceive again. Depression is a medical condition that deserves immediate attention and treatment just like any other problem. Don't be put off until the 18th....get help now. You are already taking good steps with the counselor and time off...but just as with any other medical condition, might need some medicine to balance things out. Best of luck!

 

[Smudgelicious]

I'm feeling like this too. I thought I was ok a week ago, or at least getting 'better' at coping with this, but I'm not. The weird thing is I have had severe depression and anxiety in the past and this feels quite different. I just feel absolutely unable to cope with anything and I cannot stand to be around anyone. It's like I'm on high alert and I take everything the wrong way. I can't be bothered to be nice - because whats the point? I am so angry !

My husband doesn't talk about this or TTC another one, AT ALL. That's nothing new, he doesn't talk much about anything. But I'm sad and so incredibly lonely, I could scream (actually I have.......and I do....into a pillow so no one hears). The 2 people I told, don't talk about it, so when I do speak to them I feel like I'm forcing myself to be all sweetness and light, when I don't want to be, I'm wallowing in misery, I wish they would notice. I hate having to pretend to be happy when I'm not.

I'm seeing someone on Tuesday, hopefully that will help.

 

[Beanbabe]

Girls have a look at this thread

https://www.babyandbump.com/miscarriage-support/310379-good-articles-miscarriage-ppd.html

It may contain some info that could be helpfull

 

[Allie84]

Good luck everybody. I have good days and bad days. I was really feeling better and thinking positively and then this weekend the beloved family kitty of 14 years, Zeffie, passed away suddenly. So now I'm greiving that and it also seemed to bring back the sadness of the mc! Sod's Law, eh?

But I agree seeking professional help is always a good idea! That's what they're there for. to you all. Better days ARE ahead. We'll get through this.

 

[Mummy2Angel.]

Well i've been to doc and counciller today, i have been signed back off AGAIN after finally getting back , been given kalms to help me sleeo and relax as the doctor doesnt want to try anti-depressants right away due to my asthma, but counciller has really helped today, i've dived alot further into why the loss has affected me so badly and its been great to talk about it. I've taken one tablet and have just started my first AF, so i'm feeling a bit better just now and i'm glad i'm back off work i wasnt ready and was pressuered back so i'm feeling a bit better now girls thanks for the help x

 

[Sparky67]

I've just snuck on here for 5 minutes while the OH picks up the tea - I'm so glad you went to your GP and that they are doing something to help - work just puts on extra pressure, and you need to concentrate on youself first, then you can deal with work when the time's right for you xx

 

[redberry3]

It is great that you have the opportunity to speak to counsellors and such and they offer that where you are from. I say talk to someone as long as you need and over time the pain will subside. It may never fully go away but some day you will look back on all of this and be proud of how strong you were.

At least that is what I keep telling myself....after my MMC....I am still in limbo about the D&C so still prego......how do we cope? We rely on the people available to us to supprt us! Get your support honey

I am so sorry you are going through this and wish no one had too.