Pops
Proud Mum & Wifey
- Joined
- Dec 6, 2008
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Hi 
I am new here and this is my very first post!
I know no one will be able to answer this for me but I think it might just help me if I write it all out!
I am 26 and my other half is 31 and ideally, we would love to get married before trying for a baby but the more time goes on, the more we think we will end up doing it the other way.
We have a small ammount of debt, nothing major, and it will all be paid off in about 18 months so that is no big issue. What it means though is that as we are working out way to being debt free, we are putting all our efforts into that and it leaves us with very little to save each month ( we put a few quid away each month). Ultimately, it means we will not be able to save any proper money for another 18 months to 2 years with a wedding following a year or two later depending. All together, it means that we would then have a baby in 4/5 years (obviously thats assuming no TTC issues which I am only to aware is unlikely but for arguments sake...)
This would put me at 31 and my other half at 36 and then by the time number 2 came along (again not allowing for any problems) we would be nearer to 40 unless we had one straight after the other which neither of us really want.
Now I know the easy thing to do is to just have a baby and worry about the wedding later, or for the two of us to just bugger off and do it but we really dont want to as we are both close to our families. For a variety of reasons we will be paying for our wedding ourselves and we want a relatively small one so it is not that we want an enormous expensive do - it is just that even for a simple one in our neck of the woods we need at least £8k (we have looked into it).
Half of me thinks this is silly of me to worry about and doesn't know why I have an issue with it and the other half of me knows it's beacuse I always saw me being married before having a baby. It also upsets me a bit that both of the biggest decisions we will ever make are based on the money side of it - the love and wanting to be together is not in question. I guess I also feel sad that my gorgeous man and baby would have the same name and I wouldn't, although as he pointed out to me earlier, I can change my name any time I want to as we are as good as husband and wife anyway.
I know this may not seem like a problem and there are people with real things going on but it is playing on my mind today for various reasons.
I guess I just wondered if anyone else is in, or found themselves in a similar situation and if so, how did you decide to go in the end and how do you feel about it?
I am new here and this is my very first post!
I know no one will be able to answer this for me but I think it might just help me if I write it all out!
I am 26 and my other half is 31 and ideally, we would love to get married before trying for a baby but the more time goes on, the more we think we will end up doing it the other way.
We have a small ammount of debt, nothing major, and it will all be paid off in about 18 months so that is no big issue. What it means though is that as we are working out way to being debt free, we are putting all our efforts into that and it leaves us with very little to save each month ( we put a few quid away each month). Ultimately, it means we will not be able to save any proper money for another 18 months to 2 years with a wedding following a year or two later depending. All together, it means that we would then have a baby in 4/5 years (obviously thats assuming no TTC issues which I am only to aware is unlikely but for arguments sake...)
This would put me at 31 and my other half at 36 and then by the time number 2 came along (again not allowing for any problems) we would be nearer to 40 unless we had one straight after the other which neither of us really want.
Now I know the easy thing to do is to just have a baby and worry about the wedding later, or for the two of us to just bugger off and do it but we really dont want to as we are both close to our families. For a variety of reasons we will be paying for our wedding ourselves and we want a relatively small one so it is not that we want an enormous expensive do - it is just that even for a simple one in our neck of the woods we need at least £8k (we have looked into it).
Half of me thinks this is silly of me to worry about and doesn't know why I have an issue with it and the other half of me knows it's beacuse I always saw me being married before having a baby. It also upsets me a bit that both of the biggest decisions we will ever make are based on the money side of it - the love and wanting to be together is not in question. I guess I also feel sad that my gorgeous man and baby would have the same name and I wouldn't, although as he pointed out to me earlier, I can change my name any time I want to as we are as good as husband and wife anyway.
I know this may not seem like a problem and there are people with real things going on but it is playing on my mind today for various reasons.
I guess I just wondered if anyone else is in, or found themselves in a similar situation and if so, how did you decide to go in the end and how do you feel about it?
