Anyone else having issues in the bedroom?

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Third Trimester' started by ange7894, Dec 11, 2009.

  1. ange7894

    ange7894 Well-Known Member

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    Hi all,

    I'm new to the forum, and new to the pregnancy experience. I just hit 27 weeks, and am really feeling frustrated in the sex dept. My sex drive is almost non-existent, but I WANT to be in the mood. My husband and I haven't been intimate in a couple of weeks mainly because the last few times we tried it wasn't good at all.

    We've reached the point where there is just no comfortable position. My biggest problem though is I honestly can't stay mentally in the mood. If my husband goes anywhere near my boobs, i immediately imagine breastfeeding the baby. What makes it worse is when she's actually moving around while we're trying to be together. it's not the physical aspect of her moving that's a problem, it's the fact that I can't be sexual knowing my baby is right there between us lol. It just feels so wrong.

    We've kind of accepted that sex will be a challenge for now until after she's born, so we're approaching it from other angles to avoid being frustrated. But that's not working so well for me. I miss my husband, and I just hate being so distracted.

    Anyone else going through this and has any tips or advice on making the best of the situation? Thanks.:blush:
     
  2. new mummy h

    new mummy h First little princess!!!!

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    aww dont worry, youre not alone! its happening to all of us! :hugs:
    we found out pretty much straight after we got married so we've missed sex like mad not been able to do it properly and we're newly weds lol!!
    just gotta play around instead and be intimiate in other ways to keep the love :)
    im sure ure hubby wont mind waiting as its all for a good cause xx
    im the same when he goes near my boobs - i just tell him to get off cos its a bit weird lol!! xxxxxxxxxxxx
     
  3. sera

    sera Well-Known Member

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    i know where u are comming from luv! haha, my hubby LOVES my boobs and he cant accept that they arnt his anymore.. he keeps saying bubs is not here yet and they are just so big! lol! poor thing! i have tried to keep the spark up for him but like you i get distracted.. I want it in my head but again like you when he starts moving around inside of me i have to pull away and say sorry but bubs is moving.. huby didnt quite understand untill we were kissing and our stomachs were pushed up together and hubby felt baby through my tummy. That was 2 months ago and he hasnt asked since! (28 weeks) now 37 nearly weeks and still have the boob problem! ha! what do ya do? xoxo
     
  4. NuKe

    NuKe mummy to 2 gorgeous girls

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    My oh and I haven't had sex in 5 months!!!
     
  5. MiissDior

    MiissDior Mommy of 3(1 in heaven)

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    whats a sex life?:haha:
    I havent done sexytime in over 26-27weeks:blush:
    Just simply because i dont want it :shrug:
    so much soooo i cant even say the word sex Out loud :shock:

    this is not me .. just hope it returns to some sort of normality Once
    lil one comes along :blush:


    I dont feel guilty for not giving OH anything.. :blush:
    bad and all that sounds, but with raging horomes, carrying the extra weight, been tired 24/7 , battling Infection and already living on my nerves with wory sexy time is last thing i want..

    Its only a tempory thing once baby comes and time is right, we'll make a weekend of re-discovering ourselfs and having a break away just us two in a hotel:winkwink: be like the 1st time all over again hopefully
    thats deffo given him sumtin to look forward to and me too actually:thumbup:

    but right now, am just enjoying feeling bubs move and loving the whole pregnant thing... and the tauts of doing the deed makes me shiver/cringe cus i just think of our little one in there :haha:

    your deffo not alone :flower:
    xx
     
  6. suzib76

    suzib76 Well-Known Member

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    mostly we did it as normal but the past few weeks i am just not in the mood, cant be arsed, its hard trying to get into it mentally as well definately agree with that one, just have images of baby, or she moves and it totally freaks me out that we could be doing that while she is there - weird eh
     
  7. Love Bunny

    Love Bunny Guest

    OMG!! I'm glad I'm not the only one!

    Me and my OH haven't done ANYTHING for months!!

    I'm just terrified of doing anything cause the slightest imbalance in my foofoo and thrush comes RUNNING!!

    I've had thrush sooooo much in this pregnancy and I only ever had it once in my life before I became preg :cry: so I daren't do ANYTHING that could affect my natural balance and spark it off again :( :( :(

    Its irritating the fuck outta me cause I really wanna get busy but I just feel so irritated and sore and yucky down there that now my sex drive is just non-existant.

    My fella isn't too fussed cause I think he can see how irritated and itchy I am and he knows it'll only be worse and I'll suffer for days if we do anything!

    Its weird though cause before I was pregnant I was just a sex maniac but now - nothing!!!!! :haha:

    :hugs:

    x
     
  8. Boomerslady

    Boomerslady Well-Known Member

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    I think it's a common thing in pregnancy....even if the woman is fully comfortable with it, the man usually is freaked out!

    Me and my OH have only done it once since we found out I was pregnant!! Like the other girls have said, I just can't get in the mood...the though of it makes me feel ill (I'm hoping it'll pass after LO is here)

    I am planning on trying again this weekend, purely to see if it'll get things moving! I know it's bad but I know I won't enjoy it!

    OH has porn to keep him occupied so I don't feel bad!
     
  9. digs

    digs Expecting baby #2

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    Ah honey I am finding the whole position thing an issue too. There are limited positions where I get what I'm after ;) anyway and all those positions are off limits as bump gets in the way. My boobs are off limits but only because any stimulation at all even drying them when getting out the shower and they leak.............not sure this is very attractive. I think I miss him having access to my boobs as much as he misses them! We have found anything from behind is no problem with the bump but does nothing for me and as you say get easily distracted!

    Trouble is I have the highest sex drive I have ever had in my life and I was pretty highly charged before hand, but can't find any position to satisfy!

    Ah well it will be worth it in the end!

    xx
     
  10. Zebra Stars

    Zebra Stars 3RD Trimester

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    my OH is so protective he doesnt want sex!!
     
  11. eldar

    eldar Mama to Wyn and Will

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    yep I'm part of this club too! I would love to, on the few occasions my sex drive is up but I cannot find any position that is comfy, most really hurt which kinda kills the mood! I'm either being crushed or crushing him!

    Luckily we both have a sense of humor and are looking forward to when sex isn't the comedy affair it's become!
     
  12. kookygirl

    kookygirl + hubby = perfect baby :)

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    Sorry to hear this. Have you tried all the positions? It sounds like your being distracted and can't enjoy you

    Sorry to hear that your having problems in the sex department. My husband and I have a very healthy sex life and since falling pregnant my drive shot through the roof! :blush: At the beginning I couldn't get enough of him and luckily he was the same (he finds my changing body increadibly sexy) but as I got bigger things got tricky. Luckily I can still get off on top but it is uncomfortable to the point of distraction. I just perservere, take my time with it, and hey presto the Big 'O'! :haha: Oh and the (leaky or otherwise) boobs aren't an issue. Neither of us are hung up about it. I think the key is to keep in mind that they now have a dual role (feeding and pleasure) which can be kept seperate. Sex, like other actions/reactions, is a mental thing. When I'm with my husband my mind and body is his; with LO my focus will be entirely hers. If you can't do this then not only will it be a problem (if you let it be) during your pregnancy but throughout the duration of breastfeeding (if you choose to do it) too. Way too long for me to not have my boobs fondled etc! :haha: And about finding it weird when you feel baby move while trying to get intimate? With me on the few ocassions when I have noticed it it was only at the start but then once I'm in to it my belly hardens and I don't feel her for the rest of it? :shrug: Again I think you can't think about it in terms of the baby as 'being there' because they don't know what your doing and certainly can't see anything from in there! Eitherway, if your just not comfortable with having sex right now, don't do it and don't beat yourself up about it. But if you really want to, mentally, but can't do it physically? Its the mental barriers you have to get over first. Again if that's impossible then don't stress. You and your husband can get reacquainted after baby arrives.

    Gosh, I'm sorry, didn't mean to sound like a psychiatrist! :wacko:
     
  13. kookygirl

    kookygirl + hubby = perfect baby :)

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    Talking of distraction! I obviously got so distracted I didn't notice to delete the opening line in my post!:wacko::dohh:
     
  14. Zeri

    Zeri Well-Known Member

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    We didn't have sex at all after 21 weeks. It was just too uncomfortable.
     
  15. Mrsahmed

    Mrsahmed Well-Known Member

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    I cant get enuff....oh tries to aviod me lol
     
  16. Babybug

    Babybug Well-Known Member

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    I am in the no sex club, not done it since about 6 weeks, I cant get in the mood and my husband is worried he is gonna hurt me or the baby.

    Cant wait to get back to it:sex:
     
  17. QTPie

    QTPie Well-Known Member

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    Hi

    We haven't done it much since I BFP'd (mainly due to a MC a few months prior plus a couple of bleeds in this pregnancy... also, like you, I haven't really been "in the mood").

    I think that the more you try to "force yourself" to be "in the mood", the less "in the mood" you are....

    We just tackle it from other angles... we are a VERY close and affectionate couple (so lots of cuddles and snuggles). Plus we try to take a shower together once a week (weekend) and cuddle there, I wash husband's hair (he likes that) and then, errrr, you know, "relieve his sexual frustration" (with something else, not the hair washing... :haha: ). That sort of works for us. I am not bothered about sex myself, he gets regular "relief" and we have lots of closeness/affection/cuddles...

    QT
     
  18. ticklemonster

    ticklemonster Well-Known Member

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    We are suffering on the position front but we still try as we both have quite high sex drives! If a position doesn't work we try another! The other day we were doing the deed (sorry TMI ) he was sucking on my nipple when after 30 seconds or so he realised his mouth was full of milk lol. So he now avoids that haha. But i'd say we are still physically active at least 4 times a week! If not sex.... other things, so alls good :happydance:
     
  19. Racheltn

    Racheltn Well-Known Member

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    Good to know i'm not the only one! I started to think I was broken...The thoughts are there, and I get arroused..but when it comes down to it..I'm just not into it, I havn't had the "big O" in about 2 months :(...And hubby loves my boobs, especially since they're bigger, and I just don't want him to touch them because it makes me feel dirty..those arn't for that anymore :/..But I don't know..I've kind of gave up on the whole sex thing..sometimes If I feel bad, i'll do the deed with hubby and fake it just so he can atleast enjoy.
    https://tickers.baby-gaga.com/p/dev050pb___.png
     
  20. Racheltn

    Racheltn Well-Known Member

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    That wont last long..my hubby didn't want to in the beginning either because he thought he'd hurt me..but after a while they realize they're not going to hurt you or LO
     

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