Anyone else keep the news completely to yourself to begin with?

[lauraloo24]

I just got my BFP on Wednesday, no idea what dpo i am but based on my LMP I'm only 3wks 3 days along. I had a chemical pregnancy in April at 4wks 5 days and had already told DH (obv), two mates, my sister and DH's parents! I swore I wouldnt tell people so soon next time.

As of yet, I've told no one, not even DH. Last time I was pregnant I made his life hell for a week as i was testing and the lines werent getting any darker and i was just a nightmare to live with. I want to wait till I'm sure this bean is not going to end in a chemical before telling him and even later before telling anyone else. But at the same time I feel like i'm keeping this massive thing from him and i feel bad for it. Just wondered what your thoughts were and if anyone else had done the same? xx

 

[maisie78]

Personally I would tell my partner. Even if the worst happens I would need his support and I know I couldn't go through that without him knowing. I know he would be incredibly hurt if I did. But it is a personal choice and I can understand you wanting to spare him the worry.

As for anyone else you can tell as many or as few as you want xx

 

[babytots]

Hi hun I haven't told anyone yet apart from people on here and one of my angel mummys friend who has just found out she is pregnant too. I intend to keep it quiet til 20 weeks but it will most probably be at 16 weeks. I had a horrible experience when pregnant with my youngest and a friend turned on me because she was jealous. My mil wasn't too happy about it either so I want to enjoy this pregnancy stress and negativity free. I haven't told my DH yet either. We go on holiday next week so want him to enjoy it without stressing over me and the baby (I've suffered 3 losses in the past) and I know he won't be able to relax completely if I tell him before.x

 

[lauraloo24]

Thanks ladies. Another reason i didnt want to tell DH straight away as all he wants to do is tell people! The first time, he wanted to tell his folks, and i wanted to wait. But he persuaded me, so against my better judgement i agreed to tell them at 4w 3 days. Then when we were at their house, before we'd told them, i started getting a bit of discharge. I saw it as an omen we shouldnt tell them but he thought i was just being silly. Anyway, we told them and i think they thought we were mad for telling them so soon. Two days later i miscarried. I've since said to DH that next time i dont want to tell his parents so soon but he still doesn't get it! So thats partly behind why i want to wait a bit before telling him. that and i want to make sure this is a sticky bean so I can tell him and feel positive about things. I dont know when i will tell him but i'm going to keep testing so soon as i get a super dark line or a digi 2-3 then i'll do it. I think he'll understand. As for everyone else, i think i will probably have a reassurance scan around 8 weeks so will tell family and close friends then.xx

 

[claudinator]

Not telling anyone until November. The eye rolls and the look of pity are turning me off telling people even though this baby was a 100%planned.

 

[dan-o]

Yes I waited until I was past the chemical stage to tell DH, we've had so many losses, it would be pointless to bother him with a chemical. Think I was almost 5w when I told him but I knew from 9dpo. I would have waited longer but he was guessing and I was running out of excuses to not drink alcohol lol!

 

[klsltsp]

Me too. I'm not preggo yet, but my plan is to not tell my OH until as late as possible, he's a huge worry wart and I hate to put him through it. We've actually talked about and I've told him that I won't tell him, he thought that was great, what ever I needed. His only issue was that if I did have another mc, it would be very hard for him to find out I was pregnant and that I am miscarrying all at the same time... tough because I want to believe that the next time will be fine... so far I'm not pregnant so don't have to decide. But I will definately wait until I'm past the "chemical" stage and then I'm going to gauge once I get to that point

Good luck!!

 

[patch2006uk]

My husband has always known as soon as I get a positive test, but I don't test until I'm at least 5 days late, so past the chemical stage anyway. We told at 14 weeks with my first, 13 weeks and a few days with my second and 19 weeks with my third (after my second was stillborn). I've never understood why you'd tell people before the end of first tri, but I'm quite a private person generally and wouldn't want sympathy if I had a miscarriage. I've been told by a few people when they were about 6-8 weeks pregnant, and it just makes their pregnancy seem ridiculously long. If you don't tell until 12-15 weeks, you're almost half way through already!

 

[george83]

With our first we didn't tell anybody at all until we were 11 weeks, by then we'd had a private scan and it was Christmas Day so we told my immediate family. Everybody else we told after our official 12 week scan. After that we fell pregnant again and booked for a private scan at 9 weeks which is when we were going to tell my family again but sadly ended with a mmc. With our rainbow I didn't tell anybody including my oh for over a week as I was so paranoid we'd lose it again, eventually my oh got fed up of asking me what was wrong so I told him. We then didn't tell anybody until 9 weeks when we told my family again. After that I had loads of bleeding so didn't tell anybody else until we were 15 weeks

 

[Shanski]

I told my close family and friends about a week after I found out I was pregnant in march.. My first pregnancy so I felt I HAD to tell my mom so that i could have her help in getting to the right DR. etc. My boyfriend felt he needed to tell his family too since I had told mine so even though I wasn't really all for it, I allowed him to tell.. At 6 weeks i unfortunately miscarried We've already discussed that when it happens again, we will wait at the VERY least until the first trimester is over.. It's SO exciting that its extremely hard to not tell anyone, but I feel that its even more painful to break the bad news, so I wont risk it next time!

 

[Phoenix82]

Hey sweetie

My oh knows but no one else.
It's a good idea to keep it quiet incase of problems but your oh could support you in the early stages where others can't.

I'm 5.5 weeks at the mo and I've gad spotting and worry plus odd symptoms and it's killing me not to tell my mum but having the oh knowing helps xxx

 

[lynnikins]

I tell my DH normally right away though this time i was getting such faint lines i tested for 3 days before i showed him the test and still the line was faint, i think i just O'ed later in my cycle than I thought this time around but since it was only my second cycle since ds4 was born then I had no idea when to expect O or my AF.

Told most of our close friends after i was past 6 wks and our imediate family as well but not gone fully public yet and will wait till the scan to put an annoucement up

 

[swampmaiden]

Hello,

I'm nearly 6 weeks, and I haven't told my husband... just my father and best friend.

Mainly because of my history of losses... don't really want to 'acknowldge' this pregnancy until I've made it out of the 1st tri, but also I just don't trust my husband enough to provide the emotional support I need. He is so unobservant anyways, he probably has no idea I'm pregnant... especially because this one was a completel unexpected surprise as we weren't TTC but NTNP... we only did the deed like 3 times last cycle... was a shock to test after period was a week late... I peed on a stick, then left it in the bathroom to do something else.. forgot all about it for like 45 min... went back in finally to check.. a bright dark line... I was shocked. Still not sure what Im going to do... not even sure how mentally ready i am for this.

Good luck keeping the news to yourself, i don't blame you at all for keeping mum... its just too much anxiety to inform people, especially family and in laws.

 

[Phoenix82]

Good luck to you too

Sticky beans all round xx